29 April 2oo7, Sunday

Today iie woke up at 8 plus...
then went back to slp around afternoon coz iie dun feel quite well...
iie lie on da bed and watch da video which holds precious memories...
iie miss da voice of da camera man...
iie miss da laughter...
iie miss da smile...
but that's da only way iie can hear them once again...
iie guess it's okay with miie bahx...
iie felt bewi restless every now and then...
iie dunno why....
wad do iie acturaly wants....
some time iie feel that iie hab da courage to carry on with my life...
but sometime iie dun...
it juz feel so empty rite down there....
it's like iie totally lost my heart...
no...
it's like iie totally lost myself....
iie guess that it...
iie can only find myself when dar dar's around....
haiiz... wad should iie do....
how iie wish to hab a brain wash...
but if iie could, iie dun deserve one....
iie should be that one suffering and dar dar's nt...
haiiz...
iie muz live through this pain...
this issh wad iie shall get in return...
and atleast...
da last thing iie can offer to pay back dar dar's kindness...
arrr!...
iie feel like exploding soon...
juz like wad Cp said...
when iie told her my feelings and thoughts...
she say she somehow feel that ii'm bewi lost...
iie guess that's ture bahx... i'm realli LOST... who can bring miie back?...
iie wonder....
will iie ever find myself back?...
iie dunno....
who knows?....
nobody knows....

iie do not wish to break any promises...
so therefore...
iie shall not make any promises....
and keep wad ever promises iie currently haves....

i'm walking in da path of light...
but da darkness issh out to get miie...
will iie be taken away?...
or will iie stand on da ground and fight against it?...

P.S: sowi if this post seems weird...
coz... iie dunno wad i'm saying either...

iloveu...
ineedu...

#dar dar....
#sisters....