Sweet-Sacriifice

2009-01-11T01:56:00.002+08:00

Jay's song sure is addictive.
even if it's not, when u happen to come across his song on the net, u wouldnt mind listening to it and even enjoy it alot.
hahas.

today stayed home.
woke up, msg dar.

haiis...
been thinking...
am i abit too much for dar to handle.
he might not realise it, becoz i haven told him anything about what i hab wondering recently.
maybe not recently, but since the last relationship.
maybe what dar said before we patch was right.
but...
i hab a lot of whys.

but...
maybe i know the ans.

but then again, maybe not.

suddenly, feel the urge to talk to him.
i wanna go and find him later.
maybe 1pm plus de shi hou.

Jasmine hope he understands.

2009-01-09T00:58:00.002+08:00

Morning, hao msg me and asked me if i get into simei.
so i wake up and go check.
SAD.
didnt get in.
maybe it's fated bahhs.
bye pat, bye xiaowen.

after that meet up with weeteng at 233.
ate brunch.
after that weeteng came to my house.
we chat alot alot man.
after that andy came.
7plus then we walk andy home and after that decided to go his house.
then 9plus, slack at the playground beside andy's block till 10 plus.

Talk to weeteng alot today.
secrets that i have never been able to tell ANYONE.
afraid that no one would understand me and no one would be able to help me.
but she seems to understand it alot and gave me some of her opinion.
THANKs!
(:

Tml going down to Jalan Bukit Mehra to take entry test for private o and interview.
wish me like ppl.
that's wad i needed the most now.
haiis...

Jasmine is still wondering about something.

NEW YEAR RESOLUTION 2oo9

2009-01-08T01:30:00.006+08:00

i know this is getting irritating.
it's ridiculous to blog 3 time in a different post within a short few hours.
must as well put them tgt into one post right?

but no.
i feel like splitting it up.
so yeah.

i feel like i've trash my own happy life up lots time within a year.
maybe i could have been so happy.
but some how, i choose not to.
dumb, i know.
but no worries.
it's only 2009.
and there's still plenty of time.
i wanna make my life right starting from now.
one step at a time.

firstly, my study.
which i know alot of ppl who care about me is most worried of.
especially...
(:

secondly, my family.
i wish i could find sometime to properly communicate with my mom better.
and let her understand me more.

thirdly, my career.
thinking of getting a part time job so i could get a little more allowance for myself, in stead of alway having to rely on my mother.

fouthly, my relationship.
i needa talk over with dar a little in a mature way.
i know it'll get a little misunderstanding if i say it the wrong way but...
dar, i needa plan it out properly first.
i dont wanna make any more wrong chioce. (:

surpried that my relationship is last?
for a person like me who take love a part of my life putting my relationship a something to slove last?
weird in a way huh.
well, time flies and ppl grow.
love is no longer a first chioce thing to me.
i feel so inmature putting it a if my life depends on it.
gotta grow out of it someday.

but dar, i still love you the same alright. <3

Here you go, my first new year resolution.
i never done such thing before.
think i kinda grow up a little.
woo hoo~~!!! (:

2009-01-08T01:15:00.003+08:00

Found out that i totally had nothing to do now.
so came to blog again.
been still searching for a cool hairstyle for myself.
so somehow drew it out a little.
i hope at the end of 2009, my hair would be able to be cut into that style i wanted.
i alway wanted to look a little jap jap and a little cool and cute and pretty and special at the same time.
i wonder if this style that i drew out would fit me not.
but if i cut this style, my hair defiantly hab to be a little more thicker than it i now
and i have to reborn my fringe to get that result i wanted.

here goes......
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i know my drawing sux but wad ever.

2009-01-07T23:51:00.002+08:00

Crying My Heart Out.

Most of the time when i blog about me feeling sad is becoz of BGR.
but well, not today.

Morning went Dar msg me and say he hurt his back so never go school today.
i woke up and prepare immediatly and cook cha soba for him.
then cab down to his house, pass him the soba i made and went to meet WeeTeng for breakfast.
after that juii went to simei ite.

SUAY ar!
weeteng didnt get ANY of the 10 course that she choose.
WTH!!!
where got like that one?

then 2pm, the interview start.
was around XiaoWen & pat's class room there so met them when they walked pass.
was damn nervous at the interview but, i do hope i get in.
cant wait to start school though.
hee~

after that, cab from simei to khatib then meet dar at his house.
peii him till 9plus then i went to meet weeteng at andy's house there de playground.
the usual place.
hahas.

then 10 plus bus home.
11pm juii reach home le.

reach home, end up QUARRELING with mom.
damnit.
i hate it.
haiis.
cried while bathing.
it hurt so much that all my mom do is assume assume and assume.
as if she understands me alot.
haiis...
at times like this, it's when i needed someone there for me the most.
but...
who?...

Jasmine is longing for someone to be there for her now.

2009-01-06T00:11:00.002+08:00

HEADACHE AR HEADACHE.
SOMEONE SAVE ME.

WTH, now then my mummy ask me wanna go private O or not.
aren't it's too late now?
=="
when i finally wanted to go study properly, she dis-encourages me saying i might waste her money.
now i wanna go ITE she ask me go private o.

making me thinking about it so much again.
cant sleep well again tonight...

and somemore the closing date for entering the private O is 12jan.
and i haven even started revising at all.
if i fail = no need go in le = waste $50 and waste time.
entry test is on maths and eng.

haiis.
i'm thinking of going to work this year and save some money for the private O
so mummy no need pay till like shit and i can take my time to revise maths and eng properly.

sad thing is the CHEC is at Jalan Bukit Merah.
DAMN FAR.
1hr bus ride.
WTF.
further than simei ite can...

aiis...
zhe mo ban ar...

Today meet weeteng under my blk and cab to northland and waiting for andy.
fetch him and then went 233 eat.
dar wa already there with his fren so we join them.
after that dar went off with jia wei.
but before he go, he gave me a kiss on the lip infront of my fren then he go wor.
hee~
so happy~
last time he alway say "we still in school uniform lehhs"
"you're in public lehhs xiao jie."

but now...
hee~
i'm happy.
i kinda blush a little over there.
>.<
(:

after that went to andy house use com while weeteng sleep a while.
then went AMK KBOX.
paid $10+
for each person.
sang from 5.30pm to 9pm.
pat tag along at 7plus.
after that, cab to andy house.
he went home while we go eat dinner.
ate mui fan.
will never forget who intro it to me de.
(:
it's damn yummy lurhh!

after that slack at andy house there de playground.
then 10.30pm juii go home le.

tired day today.

Jasmine is Missing Her Loving Boyfriend. ❤

2009-01-03T03:58:00.001+08:00

2 Jun 2oo9

Today went out with WeeTeng, Andy, Pat and XiaoWen.
morning Pat morning call me at 10am but i feel alp back.
11am then i woke up.

went simei ite as xiaowen and pat need pay school fees.
actually wanted to eat the chicken rice there but the uncle damn cute lor.
got noodle no meat.
=.="

after that xiaowen left to meet her supervisor.
so we proceed to far eat plaza.
had 'fun' shopping.
sadly, only saw 2tops i like.

after that went cine and took lots of neo print.
the first set of neo we took wa fugly.
so we retake twice.
and sure enough, the machine that i into them has way better quality.

after that met xiao wen at shaw house and he treat us KFC.
yummy~
full full le.

Tml going to find dar, the day after also.
monday too~
all for dar~ ♥

Today dar school reopen le.
i wonder when we spent lesser time tgt, will we grow apart?...

actually ppl say me and hx is two different person.
in some point, maybe, but somehow, i feel we're similar.
it take time to realize de.
so...
because of that, i abit scared.

i predicted, a big wave comming our way.

Jasmine is Wondering About Something. ❤

2008-12-30T03:25:00.006+08:00

Sorry for not blogging at all for so long ppl.
My apologies.

29DEC2oo8

Today 6.30am, Andy woke me up and i went on to prepare and meet Pat at 7.55am.
Went to took bus 969 to temp.
called andy and WeeTeng when we got on the bus.
upon reaching khatib, WeeTeng&Andy board the bus.
being srounded by Bunch of Mammals that i fear the most, "GUYS"
Somehow, i just dun like GUYS.
Especially, AhBengs.
Luckily, no ahbeng was spoted, all guaii kia.
lols, think all TP de bahhs.
Saw one guy, hairstyle damn sui one.
His BackGround look damn like marcus lahhs.
actually wanted to take photo down n share with u ppl how much alike they look.
but cannot lahhs, the guy kinda fit.
later he angry and box me i fly.

Alighted the bus and took bus 31 to Simei ITE.
Pat stayed behind and waited for his 'galgal' at temp interchange.
Then reach there, WeeTeng took her interview and Pat camr along and followed behind.
The galgal pat brought along is name Hazel.
she's kinda nice, SERIOUSLY. (:

after that, i went to the coustomer service counter and ask about the course thingy.
SADLY, i o7Jan2oo9 then can know which course i got in.
WTH!!!
T^T
such badnews.

after that, had breakfast at yakun and walk around temp mall.
then took bus 10 to katong.
actually wanna sing KTV but...
the KTV place like...
totally written there, "IT'S CHEAP BUT IT'S AHBENG'S PLACE"
totally shock us all out.
i still wanted to sing but...
the rest of the group dont like the place.
so, nvm bahhs. (:

then we went back temp and met XiaoWen&PohLi.
They on their way to Simei for interview.
so we walk around temp while waiting for them to go interview and come back.
ate takoyaki at the pasamalam.
then went walk around temp mall basment and ate cold tofu at the so called "You Qi Mei Ya" [Yoshinoya]
name given by frens. xD
Andy treat me cold tofu.
yay~

then XiaoWen&PohLi arrived.
then walk around somemore and then Hazel&PohLi left.
So we went on to ChangiAirPort for fun.
Walk here walk there and time soon passes realli fast.
Took photos, ate egg tart, play the coloring conner and took sky train or wadever it's called the juii 9plus le.
So we proceed to the bus stop and took bus 858 back to Yishun.
and home we go.

Fun day today. (:

30DEC2oo8

Today went to collect my contact lens at ChongPang then went Dar house.
watch him play dota, watch anime tgt, play his GBA game and all.
fell aslp a few mins too.
woke up, then went off to meet joe at NP at around 7plus.
bought ticket and ate abit and went arcad play a while.
9pm watch bedtime story tgt.
met jj and ahdam too. (:

after that they send me home and they went off.

MISING DAR NOW.

today took photo with dar, he agreed to take photo with me wor.
he usually anti photo de.
but he allowed!!!
i VERY VERY VERY HAPPY.
feel so bless that dar so teng wo.
HEE~

i'm no longer single le.
me and hx confessed to each other about our feelings le.
and somehow, i dunno how, we got tgt.
and...
i'm realli happy. (:
and compare to last time, he realli pamper me alot le. (:
hope he continues to love me more and more~! ♥

LaoGong, 我爱你!❤
Jasmine❤Vincent

At Changi.

Jasmine is Missing Her Loving Boyfriend Now. ❤

2008-12-10T01:37:00.003+08:00

Have i come across ur mind today yet?

A gal.
need to be love.
need to be pamper.
need to know that u care.
need to know that u love me.

Unlike a HandPhone.
you like it, u buy it.
you bored, you play game with it, sms and use it to call ppl.
when u're not bored, u forget about it.
when u dont need it, you throw it a side and find it extra sometimes.
when u're not happy with other ppl, you can vend your anger at it without a care in the world.
and one day, when it started to spoil a little, like auto shut down or hang or lag.
you blame it for not being good enough.
and one day, you change it for a better one.

Today i meet mummy for dinner.
new northpoint got a new foodcourt that sells all jap de food.
wha~!!!
nice nice sial.
so lucky~~~

after that walk around new northpoint and then sign a new singtle line.
trade in my HP and bought a new HP for 98buck.
muahahas.

but now my phone damn empty.
no songs no pictures.
DAMN~!
who is kind enough to share with me nice songs?
T^T

coz i dunno how to DL songs.....
[sou gou got virus!]

after that juii went home and...
bored~!!!
damn, how am i gonna survive like that?...

that' all for today.

xoxo, Jasmine
Oyasumi (:

P.S:
i cant help...
having the images of you being so nice to her.
all the things u have done for her.
how nice you are to her.
how much attention you gave her.
and then look at myself again.
wad am i to you?
wad did i get in the end?

2008-12-06T23:17:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, i have the feeling that thing might work out.
but why is it that you always prove me wrong?
or was it just me?

haiis...

Today no more work.
stay home damn bored.
i wanna do smth productive lahhs!
like example, working?
so can earn money?
[x

Stayed home watch anime.
chat at msn a little and played Dota too.
DAMN my internet...
so laggish...
cant play properly...
haiis...

i feel more and more useless now a days...
my world...
seems so dark...
i hate it...
like i alway said.

I HATE EXISTING!!!

i know alot ppl been thinking it's stupid to think this way.
but i find it meaningless to be alive.
all u go through are nth more that just stuff that will only creat8 pain in the end.
and sadly, even though i hate it this much...
i cant die.
becuase i exist before, so i cant die...
i dun wanna be so selfish and die and i dun hab the guts to.
pain pain you know...

life is so troublesome.
no frens = lonely
gt frens = problem/troublesome

no stead = long for ur prince & lonely
gt stead = pain&suffering in the end.

MA FAN AR~!

i hate GUYs!!!
AHHH~!
i hate MYSELF~!!!!
AHHHHHHHHH~!!!!

someone always tells me its useless to wait for someone to save you.

just now went to cry for a good 40mins on my bed.
it hurts to hab the feeling of being so alone.

haiis...
i need some attention from you boii...

i know the answer...
i never wanted to face it.
why am i always like that.
i dun wanna stay like this anymore.
it hurt.

why am i always treated like that.
everyone treats me like a toy...

xoxo, Jamine; 11.43pm, Saturday.

P.S: i starting to top believing again...

2008-12-06T00:58:00.002+08:00

been working this 4 days[incluing today].
2, 3, 4, 5 DEC 2008.
been waking up damn early for the OSEA exhibition.
the largest oil and gas industry.
only business ppl go there de.

been working at the VIP lounge these few days.
a damn simple job yet damn boring.
All i do i sit there and make sure only VIPs & Special Guest comes in.
Then there's also thi guy in the room which makes all kind of drinks for the VIPs.
even wine!
then that room is the only room that provide food for the VIPs and staff and Special Guest.
then everyday left over alot.
so ytd and today i da bao the dessert home lor.
then today take a free gift ball ball, then alo ome butterflies hair clip.
pretty~~~

haha.
the rest of the story, i shall tell euu next time.
now i'm freaking tired...
nights. (:

xoxo, Jasmine; 2.06am, 5DEC2oo8 [FRIDAY]

P.S: Memories last forever.

2008-12-01T04:03:00.003+08:00

Would one's existence make any different to you?
Just by not being with the one you love could really torture someone indirectly.
Sometimes, some ppl just dont get the fact how important their existence means to another.
All they could say is: "you're very sticky lehhs"
"sorry, i'm too busy for you, you gotta understand"
"you very irratating lehh"
"you're always full of complains"
"i got my own life too you know"
"sorry, i too busy then you so sticky, so let's just remain frens"

Selfish ppl.
Those that can only think for themselves, must as well stay single.
Complaining how sticky and how un-understanding other ppl is...
why not reflect back on what u're doing first?

You should be happy that the one you love, love you this much.
Dont wait till one day you realli lose him/her then cry for them to come back.
DUMBASS.

Finding someone who would and is willing to love you that deeply is not that easy okay.
So stop saying they're sticky, look at the bright side.
they just simply loves you and cant live without you.
You mean the world to them.

haiis...
why is it that i cant help feeling that my current 'happy' life is slowly fading away from me?
or am i just thinking too much?...

haiis...
gonna get my results on the 18dec i think.
that day is the day that decide my fade.

i should start checking out the ITE available and the course.
and the points to get in n all.
maybe...

Tuesday gonna start work le.
Going suntect city convention hall lvl 4 work.
needa wake up damn early lahhs.
i wonder MRT 8.15 open already not.
that mean i need 6am wake up every morning le lor.
damn...

my position is the VIP lounge.
the lady in charge told me that this might be the simplest job but also the most boring one.
heard that i just needa sit there and make sure no one enter thi room wrongly and make sure everything is in order.
tt's all.
=="
somemore i think is one person one lounge.
dot dot dot...

lonely~
i am so lonely~
this is so scary~
on my own~~~

Today went to meet Hx at NP popular then bought sushi and went to his house eat.
then stay there till 6plu juii bus home.
on my way home, i dunno why, tot of something.
lol.
suddenly feel like going jap lurhhx.
i wanna pao wen quan~~~
and wear the kawaii kimono like clothes to slp.
and i wanna see cherry blossom~~~
and i wanna go there see chio bu~~~
=X

heard that not all jap guys alo good looking de.
hahas.
and mostly all very bian tai dehhx.
xD
opps.

got home, sleep.
tired...
zzz..
then woke up...
use com.
sms...
then go play game with the guys.
then they play dota.
but i too lag so i refuse to play so they go play.
then i just AFK.
lols.

watch 10 Promises with my dog with mama.
i cry like hell lahh....
actually i keep trying to control my tears.
then mummy fall aslp before the doggy die.
then she wake up zun zun at the end.
then she ask me how the doggy die.
then i explain till cry again...
DAMN~!
T^T

hate crying...

so now finish watching le so come back and blog liao n go slp le.
night ppl.
Oyauminasai.

xoxo, Jamine; 4.25am, 30 Nov 2oo8

P.S: Dreams never last for long.

2008-11-30T00:18:00.002+08:00

Have you ever had this feeling that u're realli happy and blessed but...
you knew things will never last like this for long?...

I'm happy now, realli happy.
I hab great frens.
I hab ppl who care & love me.

but i know this will not last for long.
When school reopens.
it's gonna fade away again.
frens quarreling and telling me "sorry, this frenship can never be like how it used to be during the holidays."

someone told me i'm just simple minded thinking.
or smth...
for thinking about these...
but...
it did happen before right?...

Today was late for work training again.
damn it.
Reach there i totally lost.
then edbert come fetch me.
but we kinda lost each other location as my prepaid went out of money.
damnit.
then i use information counter de phone call him.
=X

as i waited, i saw my Pri school fren, JunHuang.
lols, he grew fat... =X
opps.
xD

after that, i finally meet tio Edbert then went to mark my attendance and took my name tag and meet up with Many & Zoo.
After that we went to hab our breadfast at Mac, edbert joined Mandy, Zoo & me.
hehe, he made new fren~
at first when they ask for his name he like very shy lyk tt sial.
haha, damn cute lahh.
[x

i was like chating with him alot.
as i scare he's the only guy there then he will Paisehh/ feel left out.
so ya...
hahas.
got to know him more though.
hahas.

During training, met a few gurls.
one of them i call Rocker.
damn cool name.
and she' damn outgoing and hyper and frenly that i kinda find her cute.
and somehow, i see a guy who i think he like her.
he's her fren too.
they seems realli happy and close.
so yeah, find them hen peii mahhx.
[x

after that meet mandy n zoo.
then mandy's BF since i 1plus juii come from sengkang and wait for her.
they kinda quarrel though.
but atleast the guy WU XIM come down fetch her and wait for her from 1 plus till 3 plu.

Then Mandy go liao juii left me and Zoo.
so zoo peii wo wait for Edbert then we sat train home.

sat MRT from cityhall, took rebound train back to yishun.
Chat with edbert from cityhall all the way back home.
we like never top talking like tt.
xD

reach yishun mrt station, then wait for another train with Zoo a she' going a Yew Tee.
after that he accompany me home and put my stuff and then went to JW house.
Hx went to JW house stay mahhs.
hahas, so went there join in the fun.
ho ho ho.

then Jw mama damn kind narhh.
and damn power sia.
from JW words, i kinda feel like he love his mama alot alot and dun like to ma fan her becoz of his frens.
so i kinda lie to his mom saying i eat le.
BUT HOR...
he know i lying lehh.
so clever~!!!
>.<
power mother.
li hai li hai~~~

then i eat abit abit only lurhh.
and watch The Happening @ JW house and then 9plu juii went home le.
Edbert sent me home as he need to go home pack stuff n go stay at JW housse too.
so sun bian lor.

got home then bath for very very very long.
damn suang.
then on tv.
saw a stupid last time dehh alien show.
DAMN STUPID LAHH.
but stupid till i kana attrachted.
then forgot to call Hx and tell him i reach home le.
sorry.

actually wanted to call hiim de.
but...
dun wan distrub their BOIIS nights.
so ya...
decided not to.
hope they have fun.

Sorry for the plain post but i'm lazy to put other thing in.
Oh well, that' all for today.
*YAWN*
tired....
Night.

xoxo, Jamine; 12.57, 30 Nov 2oo8

P.S: Boii, can you keep that smile on my face?

2008-11-28T02:12:00.002+08:00

Have you ever felt hurt/sad even when the one you love deeply is by ur side?

You know you love him/her.
You know he/she cares about you.
But problem is...
Is he/she your's?

Loving someone means setting her/him free.
And if she/he come back, she/he's yours.
But if he/she didn't, PLEASE JUST GO JUMP DOWN N DIE.
=X

DONT GO KILL URSELF YET.
life is much more than just Steady.
That's when friends & family step in.

if u dont hab frens & family.
kill urself.
=X

but if u think killing urself would make u happier, go ahead.
but keep this in mind, it wont change anything.
Unless, you urself tries to change it.
The only life u can change for a better, is ur own life.
You cant control others, others can control you.
All of the pain n sadness are actually given by urself.
To sit there & complain n thik about the sad things all day.
Or to stand up, move on and make ur life a better place to live in?

hahas, enough of my nagging.
These are all crap.
If u think it's meaningful.
go ahead n listen to it.
Because there's one thing human can never fight againest...
that is, ur own feelings. (:

when its pain, it's pain.
when its sad, it's sad.
when its happy, it's happy.
when its lonel, it's lonely.
no one can change the fact that this feeling exist within them.
no matter how hard one try to move on & ignore, it'll always remain there.
Deep down, you know its there and its hurts.

Time heals wound but it can never remove them.
We all need someone, someone special to come save us.
Someone to pull us out of our misery.
Everyone need that someone.
One can never survive alone.
And that's when LOVE comes in.
And the story goes like a cycle.
=X

FOOK TART.
damn this life cycle.

Today hx called me and i woke up.
thanks fer da morning call.

QUESTION: Wad is the first thing u ever wish for every morning?

well, if it's me,
i wanna be able to hear/see the one i LOVE every morning.
That would be such a blessing. <3
>

The after that, brush teeth n wash face then play game with him.
then after that he prepare & came my house to deliver me my lunch.
THANK THANKS~!!!
Was realli happy~!
(:

He came in, i let the dogs out and he chase them around like little kid.
HAHAS.
damn cute lahhs, you should hab been here to see it.
for that moment, he reminds me of the war3 game: Poke the angry Oger.
xD!!!

After that we sat down n chat while i eat my lunch.
he told me about a cartoon/anime [idk] that he watched when he's young.
wow~!
I LOVE STORY~
hoohoo.
so i sat there listening.
nice nice~!!! (:

after that, all of a sudden, mummy came home.
ho ho ho.
wan dan liao.
mummy was angry to see him in our house.
so Hx went home.
T^T
So sowii~~~
Paisehhs huh.

then quarrel with mummy lor.
then mummy angry, take my line dehhx sim card and fold it into two.
FUCK TART~!
CCB.
now no more free incoming le.
KNN, not like i did anything wrong lyk tt.
he nt even my BF, then she worry till so ni pu.
nosense sial.

some more wan me say sorry to her...
=="
i know i wrong in someway.
but, smth happen in the past that slowly make me stop saying sorry to her liao
this reason like story lyk tt.
and ppl may think its also nosense.
but sorry, idk.
i judge my own life okay, thank you.

so siian lor...
then play com all day after that.

huu huu huu.
my frige finally grow longer liao.
look nicer le.
faster grow longer abit more kay frige? (:

siian, sat i need go work training again...
then 2dec all the way till 5dec got work. -.=

Hao lahhs, i'm bored + tired + lazy.
shall go rest le.
Nights ppl.

Oyasumi.
xoxo, Jasmine; 2.50AM, 27Nov2oo6

P.S: Why am i missing you right now?...
Are you?....

2008-11-27T03:14:00.003+08:00

Konbanwa~!

Loving someone who love you
or loving someone who love his friends more then he love you?

Having someone who love you whole heartedly is wonderful.
Having someone who treasure his frens more than you is painful.

Have you ever felt jealousy even for a short moment because he/she love his frens more than he/she love you?...
It's weird & dumb in a way.
But it does happens.

I've always long for a Guy who i love and who love me.
Put me in first place in his heart beside studies or family, never forgets about me/ leave me out on anything & never lie to me.
Like wad we heard in SpiderMan3, "You have to put your wife before you"
smth like tt...

Haiis...
Why wouldnt he?...

Today morning use com watch anime and play Pokemon GBA.
Was waiting for Hx they all to ask me play dota.
Paisehh, i bi jiao buay zhi dong one...
so i only waited.

End up call joe, he say he playing with them liao.
Wha lao...
good lor.
nvm.
suan.
Total disappointment.
But i also buay zhi dong that type, so bo bian...
haiis...

Then 4,43pm, Hx called me.
ask me why never contact him n play game n all.
explain n then he go work so hang up phone liao.

after that Wee sudddenly msn me.
and i tot i deleted him
=X
but i didnt block.
so he still can see me.
he ask me got play FL not and all.
So end up train with him.
9pm, log out FL.
waited for orders.
and went play dota/war3 game with the guys.

If i going in ITE, i might join Mandy's ITE in Bishan.
But i'm thinking of going to a futher ITE to start anew or smth.
i feel like my life is really crashing down.
i love my peaceful life now.
Not much happen.
Partly becoz i choose not to face it.
so yeah.
and so, partly, i HATE my life now.
Too messed up.
Thanks to you lahhs, BASTARD.

When i was younger.
i tot being love by someone and anyone is a blessing.
and steading lots of time wouldnt kill.
But...
true, it's not killing me.
But it's hurting me & torturing me from inside out.
The more you stead the pain slowing accumulate up.
And someday, when the pain is just too much for one to handle it...
slowly, it'll cause side effect...

I notice...
I've been hurt so easily and tries so much in trying to protect myself[heart] from being deeply wounded again.
Maybe, i try a little too hard that...
i kinda lost who i use to be.
i forgot how to love someone whole heartedly, ignoring other pain & only just love that person.
i forgot who am i...
i tried so hard to chang myself, just becoz i tot i wasnt good enough.
just becoz i tot he wouldt be happy with me being just like that.
a dumb, silly and reckless gurl who doesnt think but only do wad my heart say and ignoring all common sense stuff around me.
i tot, being like this wasnt a good GF.
i try so hard to change, try to hard to do a little smth for him.
end up...
all i got was....

NOTHING. (:

i hate guys who are lazy.
they're better off single that way.
How can you say you love someone when u're so lazy to even show it to her?
BULLSHIT.
Fuck whoever who say that, they hab no rights to love someone.
giving reasons like "you know i'm a lazy person and i dont express myself much."
excuses.
fuck tart.

Love can do wonders.
So stop giving excuses.
if you love someone, u'll be willing to do anything.
But there's exception though...
Some ppl who lost trust in love.
Need another to heal it and show him/her that love is not all about pain & lie.
i'm waiting for that someone too. (:
So far, i found none...

I'm tired...
i wish i could find myself back soon.
and recover soon...

Oyasuminasai.

xoxo, Jasmine; 4.02am, 26 nov 2oo6 post.

P.S: My Prince will come one day, someday. <3>

2008-11-24T03:56:00.002+08:00

Is it more hurting to pretend you love someone
or is it more hurting to pretend you don't love someone?

AHHH~!
now i know why i this few years so suay le lahhs~!
yuan lai issh becoz huh, i always use com then sit there do nth then i very bored then my body will shake shake shake like how little kids swing their leg lyk tt lor.
mummy say no wonder this few years i so suay.
all good luck kana shake shake away.
ZHE MO BAN~~~???
T^T Jui Ming Arr~~~

ai yo...
this few weeks i've been struggling to find myself back.
i dun like the way i am now.
i know its natrually me but it's still so not me.
not like me.
i dun like it.

and i noticed when i'm in,love, i will change abit.
or is it becoz of the person i love and wad had happen before so i seems diff infront of my ex.
DAMN...
cannot cannot.
must jai you.
cannot lose myself nor lose to my past.
no way no way~!

this few days rain so much.
everyday also rain de.
alot mosqitoe liao lahhs.
all come bite me...
bit my hand, my shoudle, my neck, even my face and knee cap.
even my butt cheek they also wanna bite.
KNS, stupid mosqitoe.
if they wasn't that tiny, i'll bite them back~!
HUMPH!

but hor, if they very big hor...
i think i will scared lehhs...
like XiaoQiang, this week saw two le.
one will fly one never.
damn suay.
T^T
wo pa xiao qiang~

Wha, i see some ppl blog hor, their HairStyle jap jap dehhx.
Hao cool wor~~~~
i also wan~~~
but i gotta wait for 1 more year for my hair to grow long long again then see how bahhs.
Anyone got good hair Salon to intro not???
kuii ming arr~!!!
>.<"

AHHHH~!!!
CHRISTMAS DAY COMING SOON~!!!
i must rush lots of work le lahhs.
this might be the last christmas i celebrate with my GANS.
so i wanna buy a little smth for everyone of them.
T^T
Jai you shuwei~!!!

Oh yeah, today wake up play War3 wif Hx.
Actually was planning to go his house to go on a mission to steal his Ice-Cream.
but hor, raining nehhs, then kinda late liao.
and i lazy everytime go home at night from khatib all the way to my house alone.
damn lonely and scary and the bus very de very de cold norhhx....
i wonder how Wee manage to send me home and go all the way back Temp alone...
Hao li hai oh...
power of love maybe?
in the past lahhs that is...
=X

9.30pm, played War3 wif Hx again n this time, wif Jw too.
play till 2, 3am then they go slp while i watch Miss No Good in youtube.
ep9 liao, and it's getting better n better.
hoo hoo.

Tml morning still need wake up early and go on mission to steal Hx Ice-Cream.
so i better go slp soon.
(:

GoodNight ppl.
Oyasumi~!

xoxo, Jasmine; 5.10am

P.S: It ain't the same no more.

2008-11-23T01:49:00.004+08:00

i guess....
Goodbye are ment to be forever.

Sayonara...

Yts went to ton at Joe&Jas house wif erzi & Hx.
Went home around 12am plus, dad pick me up then bath n pack bag n all.
then 4am took cab down again.
everyone's nt aslp yet, chat a little then we slowly fell aslp.
9am wake up then chat a lit again then i alone fall aslp back while the others play PS2.
wake up 12pm zun zun.
then chat n play till 1 plus then went to hab brunch @ SunPlaza.
finish food liao went arcad play.
play photo hunt.
hahas.
5 ppl play one machine.
[x

after that raining heavily.
went back yishun then rain too big liao, lazy go home alone so went khatib instead.
went Hx house & bath n chat with him till 6plus.
then went home.

got home, sleep.
9.30pm wake up.
play War3 wif Hx as the other's are all aslp i think.
played Rabbit VS Sheep, Castle Fight, FF8[RPG] & MooMoo.
play castle fight dehhx shi hou kinda cao jia...
but after the game end, everything okay liao.

after MooMoo, Hx tired liao so he go slp.
so i come blog.

Been watching 不良笑花 (Miss No Good) this few days.
now going to watch ep7 le oh~
hahas.
some anime like SkipBeat, Toradora, Macademi Wasshoi also not bad.

*RAWR~!*i'm starving~
If onli i hab a hubby then i can meet him out for supper.
then there will be no more lonely meals for me.
woo hoo~!
[x

Neber mind.
i shall bear with it for now.
my Prince will come one day de.
no rush no rush. (:
i've been single for like 5months le.
2 more weeks to 6month.
and i'm still kinda enjoying it. [x

Wha, someow, i notice i've changed ALOT since i & Hx gt close last year.
DAMN...
i dunno who am i any more le.
even the way i talk also diff le.
some kor say they dun realli see the xiao mei mei in me that much any more.
wo chang da le wor~
like jie jie liao.
T^T i dun want become old lahhs.
i dun care, i dun wan become jie jie, i wan rely on ppl, i dun wan make decision, i wan ppl pei me & make decision for me.
T-T but all these are so unrealitic...
zho mo ban...

i very scared i go ITE next year...
if i go ITE = New school, New class, New classmate, New teacher, New frens, New me, New studies = NO ONE TO PEI WO/ TO RELY ON. T^T
wo pa pa lahhs...
zhe mo ban???...
haiis...
juii ming arr~

but wadever it is, if this is the last christman i'm spending wif my gan family, i wanna make it a happy, enjoyable and unforgetable one. (:

[[_imissyou_]] sounds stupid
[[_iloveyou_]] seems dumb
so that mean, i'm an idiot? [x

xoxo, Jasmine desu.
Oyasuminasai. (:

P.S: Looking back at the photos, i cant help missing you and everything in the past. Time will never turn back & this is how it should be from now on.

2008-11-19T17:27:00.002+08:00

Today woke up with a NightMare...
Maybe to some, it's not a nightmare...
but...
it's realli scary...
i'm realli scared...
i dun wan such thing to ever happen.
i hate her.

Sorry ppl, for nt blogging for so long...
Been busy and lazy.
hahas.

haven been going out with gan family recently.
trying to hunt for job n all.
still hab 34 bucks on me only...
>.<
how long can i survive with that?

been feeling really down today.
thanks to that dream i had last night.
i woke up in cold sweat & was breathing damn hard.
i realli panic in that dream...
damn...
i hope that gurl don't appear in my dream again tonight.

i wish my hair could grow faster.
i want it longer~
like how it was before~ T^T

two days ago, was my prom night.
somehow, had fun.
sad thing is never take photo.
lazy.
[x

ytd went hx house.
like always, fought with him.
hahas. pillow fights and all.
muahahas.
bought sushi and shared with Him.
he say next time he get pay he treat me sushi back.
WOOHOO~!
sushi!

been playing dota with him alot too.
and he's still playing FL with me.
even though FL can be so boring sometimes.
even edbert n joe quit it saying it was realli very boring.
i wonder how my other frens in FL chiong their lvl so fast.
hahas.

i'm realli scared that the thing i fear most will happen.
wad r we?
why r we so close when u said u wasnt ready?
wad am i to u?
who am i to u?

i'm starting to burry myself deep down again.
is it a wrong thing to do?
becoz i'll be going to ite.
and he'll be aiming for poly...
i know things will break and shatter de.
thanks to busy life & less comunicationg & time.
like how it had happen the last time.

maybe i should do wad i never like.
should i stop things now to prevent the hurt in the future?
it will hurt in the future, it will.

dun ask me why.
or since when did i become so negative.
i'm nt negative, i just stop believe in love can do the impossible.
i met a guy who did the impossible for me.
but i met a guy who prove him wrong too.

my life feel so messy now.
i know my little comfortable world of mine will fall apart when school starts.
it will de.
it always happens.
i'm worried.

like always, i wished i was never born.
i dun like this kind of mess up feelings and the problems i face when i'm alive.
i hate it.
who dont.
i just hope the world get destroys soon.
no one will be in pain any more.
no one will need to suffer any more.
no more pain and misery.
no more....

why do i have to meet ppl who would mess up my life.
why me?
why?...

[[_i wish i could just die tomorrow_]]

xoxo, Jasmine.

P.S: Go ahead, call me loser for trying to run away from my problems.
But i'm sure u did too. Dont need say dun hab, i'm sure u did too. You're just another loser for calling me a loser, Loser. [x

2008-11-10T23:57:00.002+08:00

DAMNIT!

damn the day i met u.
damn the days i fall in love with u.
damn the days i did all i can to love you.
damn the days i miss you.
damn the days i was by ur side.
damn the days i stay by ur side even if it hurts me.
damn the days we quarrel.
damn the days we blame each other.
damn the days we lost each other.
damn the days we hate each other.
damn the days we care for each other.
damn the days we are in now.
damn you.
damn me.
damn us.
damn fate.

today morning wake up play game.
haiis...

damn you idiot.
you make my life so miserable.
but nvm, i can tahan dehhx!
fighto~!!!

i just hab to keep smiling and stay positive.
there's more to life than just you.
i will gambatte in life and make my life a better place to live in.
so u this little bug will nt spoil my life so easily dehhx.
buahahahahas~!
xD

this few days damn boring lahhs...
12 nov i'm going chalet with WeeTeng they all.
dunno going nt.
damn weird.
no one tells me wed meet where n wad time.
i ask pohli she ask me go settle MYSELF.
damn lame...
like i know which chalet we going and total who going and wad time they can meet...
ask her who going so i can contact n ask them then she nv reply.
suan le.
i just sit n wait hao le.

my little world is slowly starting to fall apart.
oh well, nvm...
i wont be staying in Northland anymore anyway...
a new lif awaits me in ITE.
sure a even suay one. T^T
oh well...

today after playing War3 wif ppl, i've went bath n meet erzi n zy n jas at safra.
lols.
very long never see them le.
woo hoo~
ohana desu~~~~

been going hyper with them lahhs.
damn fun.
love my gan family.
becoz they're the only bunch of ppl who i can go crazy without worrying they'll mind.
becoz they accept me as who i am.
hahas.

i guess i should stop playing war3.
feel like becoz i sux at it so much, i'm somehow being left out.
blame me, kei kian, go play.

haiis...
blame me.
everything that has happen.
the wrong n rights of my life.
blame me.
becoz it's all my fault.
i was the one who made those decision n i'm the only one that can change my life.
so blame me.
blame me for falling too deep.
blame me.

xoxo, Jasmine; Oyasumi desu~ ^-^

P.S: BLAHS~! Who cares about love?

2008-11-09T03:23:00.002+08:00

i did all i can for someone even though ppl said it's not worth it.
because i love hiimx, that's why no matter wad, its worth it...

._i had once love you that deeply boii_.

If you love someone, his/her smile & happiness would mean the world to you.
You will do anything to protect the smile.
You'll sacrifice everything just for her.
Because you love her, so it's worth it.

This few days stayed home n dota + FL.
Created an AOL in FL.
Hx played with me.

Ytd quarrel with hx...
haiis siian.
as fren also can quarrel about last time stuff..
i wish he could be meaner to me like how he used to.
just like when we broke up.
scolding me fuck off and all when i worry about him.
i dun find any reasons for him to be so nice to me anymore.
it only makes me feel sadder

he has been real nice to me.
sms me every morning, call me every morning right after i wake up, then play game with me and sms me for the rest of the days all the way till night, when he goes to bed.
sometime meet me out for dinner with erzi n all.
never leaves me out on anything n always worry about me.
and concern about me alot.
and play FL with me even though its the type of game he wont enjoy tt much.

i dun get it...
i can understand wad he likes and wad he dun like.
but seriously, never once do i understand wad he's doing.
nor wad he actually wants.
the one weird guy who hurted me the most and confuses me the most.

Haiis...
smile gurl, smile~~~ [:

finally found the song i've been looking for:
WangZi - DuiBuQi

this song is made for the show HeiTangQuanXiaZuan.
actresses are from BangBangTang & HaiSheHuiMeiMei.
DAMN SUAI & CUTE/CHIO ppl~!!!!
xD

Blah~
i'm bored.
Joel nagging me to slp le...
i'm slpy.
but will i be able to slp?...

haiis...
headache headache~~~
>.<" now yishun raning...
and i'm listening to the WangZi song....
make me think of.....
WangZi....
[:

haiis....
feeling sad n down...
damn song, damn me, damn you!
i dun like this feeling...
been compressing it...
damn damn damn damn damn.
*Jasmine ng SW, must think positive~*
*no negative negative desu~ >.<"*

where's my prince charming???~~~~
T^T

hao bahhs, go slp le.
if not joe will kill me~~~
nights ppl.

if i leave now, would u stop me?
if i walk off and will never come back, will u chase me?

xoxo, Jasmine

P.S: Wad is love to you?

2008-11-05T23:59:00.001+08:00

Lala world. [x

Treasure the one that loves you and who you consider important before its too late.

The past will always be the past.
You can hold on the the regrets of the past but you can never change them.
If you're unhappy about the past n the present, you can alway improve it.
Rememeber, wad u do in the present affects the future.
One decision might seems small but it changes everything.
So why bother about the past which you can never change while u can always change ur future.
Don't let what happened in the past stop you from doing anything.
Life is full of mistakes.
Everyone make mistakes.
Because mistakes are the source of our knowledge.
If we dun make mistakes, we'll never lean.
Who knows, maybe GOD make mistakes too. (;

today morning slept at 6am n wake up at 10am n prepare then go hx house.
was planing to play dota wif him at his house.
but in the end, Internet cannot connect.
his sis forgot the pass for the connection le that's why cant connect.
lols.
end up watching him play n all.
left his house at 4.30pm.

got home, drop dead on my bed.
slept like a log.
hahas.
8.56pm woke up then dota with edbert n gang till 2 or 3am plus.
then lie on my bed till now....
cant sleep...
somethings troubles me.

boii, u troubles me...
its nt that i wanna hold on to the pass.
but, i cant help it.
i dun wanna risk getting hurt once more.
i just hope that, u can prove to me that, this time, its real.

haiis...

tml going to meet gans family @ sambawang.
ErZi's gan mei is also going.
i dun wanna hab daughters~!!!
xD
they all going to play arcade again...
rich ppl...
well, i'll do the usual, sit at the side n watch.
i'm not that intersted in arcade...

i remembering hearing ppl talking about their life long dreams n goals of life.
i never thought of any before.
but now, i realised.
my dream is to meet the one special guy who loves me and whom i love.
and hab kids, and happily live on and watch them grow up and then i grow old with my guy and leave this world.

but will such a gurl like me be lucky enough to meet another guy as nice as Wee?...
T^T sobs....

been wearing the braclet that Wee gave me on DEC 2oo6 for quite sometime le.
seems like it has become part of my life/body le.
i feel weird without it.
and i enjoy seeing the stars n chain marks which would be printed on my wrist when i wake up every morning.
i love stars~~~
*in daze* *daydreaming of stars~~*

i'm so sure that Wee would be the one special guy that i will never forget for life.
damnit! T^T

Lastly,
Click here to download the game FairyLand .
Click here if u need any help in the game.
Add me as fren in FairyLand too~!
Char name: Yuzuki
i personally intro you all this game.
xD

PHOTO TIME:

Totally pulled down.

Parted to one side.

Which one nicer?
Tag me to tell me ppl.
i need your point of view~! [x

TAG MY TAGBOX PPL~!!! [x

[[_Embrace Imperfection_]]

xoxo, Jasmine
Signing out @ 4.43AM

P.S: Never lie about loving someone.

2008-11-04T23:59:00.001+08:00

Smile is the first thing u can see on someone's face.

Humans can never be perfect,
same goes to love.
u can't expect everything from him/her.
but u can always accept the good n bad of him/her.
that's why loves mean sacrificing for the other half.
Learn, Understand and Accept who they are. <3>

been about three days since i last update my blog rights?
somehow, i dun get it why my hitcounter are increasings but no one's tagging me.
TAG MY CBOX PPL!!!

Today woke up at 3pmplus in the afternoon.
last night played FairyLand with joe till damn late.
Thanks YaoZhong for telling me tt the game is on again.
after 3 to 4 years of shut down, the game's finally up and running~
and the best part is, it's FREE TO PLAY.
Click here to download the game.
Click here if u need any help in the game.
Trust me, u'll enjoy it, somehow. [x

Sunday & monday night, i went to HongXian House eat dinner tgt.
Bought my own dinner there ofcause.
Was suppose to go there with ErZi[zy] but end up he cant make it.

Sunday stayed at his house till 4am plus.
got home kana scolded damn badly.
>.<"
oh well, was waiting for a free ride from my er jie, so waited till so late.
xD

then Monday i stay till 10.03pm jui leave his house le.
guaiis bahhs.
then today, ErZi finally can join us for dinner.
awww, our own little family dinner~
meet him n waited for hx's job to end then went mac eat.
these few weeks i've been eating 1 meals per day.
getting used to the little amount of food i eat everyday le.
so i start to not get hungry that easily anymore.
yay, can slim down.
xD

Hx has been pretty nice to me this few week.
i dunno since when though.
probably after me and wee ended bahhs.
even ErZi [zy] can see that.
today ErZi [zy] even told me "LaoPa dui ni de tai du 180 du zuan bian. gen yi qian bu tong le"
and he seems kinda happy for me.
lols.
damn cute.
LOVE MY BAOBIIE ER ZI LOTS LOTS~!

and...
I FINALLY ABLE TO PLAY WARCRAFT3 AGAIN!
xD
been playing just now.
not dota, other random games.
because i totally sux at dota.
=X
been using Garena to connect to ppl.
hahas.

Been planing after ErZi's O level, my gan family should hab some outing tgt.
Planing to go sentosa beach n hab picnic tgt n play sand n water.
Gt this ideal of going as i did enjoy myself DAMN DAMN DAMN MUCH, the last time i've been there wif Wee.
*Thanks Wee (: *

Then also plan can go cycling with CC, CP, HYi and my gan just like wad we did last year, but only that this time more ppl.
the more the merrier wad.
xD
then at night go chomp chomp eat dinner.
*Thenks Wee again. [x *

After that, 12 nov to 14 nov going chalet with WeeTeng n gang.
hope it'll be fun.
[x

then 20 & 28 of nov is OSEA even job.
and 12 & 13 of dec is Carbon Forum Asia job at suntect city.
11 of nov is traing for the job.
17 of NOV is prom night.
then somwhere aroud DEC is result day for N levels.

Damn, pack my days up ppl~!
Love my busy life~!

[[_Embrace Imperfection_]]

xoxo, Jasmine
Signing out @ 5.48am

P.S: HongXian, if u're reading this, i wanna tell euu that...
Your face look like this bread when i pulled it:
<=== cute right? xD

2008-11-01T00:36:00.003+08:00

mushi mush~!

If you realli love someone,
u'll find that no matter wad mistake he or she does,
u'll always end up forgiving them and falling back in love with them.
u'll find it hard to stay angry at them.
because their smile and the way they looks at u,
always manage to melt ur heart.

a smile might mean nth,
but to me, the smile of the one i love means everythings.

Today woke up i forgot wad time le.
xD
then went to prepare n meet joe n chris and went to kelly services.
an agency that intro u job.
i filled in my particules and all n went to so call interview a lit bit.
then the guy talk to me and joke joke a little and then i went off.

after that meet CP n zy n jas to go cut hair.
FUCK!
i look sucky.
T^T
i wan my old hair back/
i'm so not gonna take photos for half year untill my hair turns back
SOBS....

after that, went home then meet hx n zy for dinner at 9pm.
then eat n chit chat n all till 10plus then send hx home.
damn, kor pissed me off today.
=="
so its true, guys only treat pretty gals nicely.
to gurls that looks sucky, they dun gib a damn.
FUCK, HATING GUYS MORE N MORE.
and the guy that i met at kelly agency msg me around 6plus and ask if he can meet me out for dinner.
he was like 23 years old.
and i'm bloodily 16.
=="

nvm, i turn ugly le.
he's just another ti ko who wan pao piao liang mei mei dehhx.
i detest this kinda guy.
forget it.

after that jas, joe n zy send me home.
then i got home n bath n watched hot shot epi5.
now going to sleep le.
then 7am need wake up again.
tml is Miss chee's wedding.
gonna attend his wedding with my ugly hair.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK,
$40 for a ugly hair.
this sucks.
i shall never touch my frige nevr again.
I SWEAR!
[unless it's too long]
T^T
my hair~~~

sobs...

[[_ai shi wei da de_]]

xoxo, Jasmine has ugly frige.

P.S: stop making me guess.

2008-10-30T22:30:00.003+08:00

rawr~!

dao di yao zhe yang ai yi ke ren cai shi dui de?
dui ta hao, hai shi dui zhi zi hao?
shang hai ta he shang hai zhi zi,
ru guo zui hou de dao de hai shi tong ku,
shi bu shi gai fang shou?

ai shi wei da de.
dan yea shi zhi shi de.
ai yi ge ke, he bei ai, you zhe yang nan ma?

Today woke up 2plus.
heh heh, finally can realli rest well le wor.
woo hoo!
slp till damn suang.
coz no work le.
then wake up, called everyone n went to prepare.
then meet er zi[zy] n larhvin at interchang.
kun yuan followed them too.
then went to fetch hx while kun yuan go home.

after that, meet joe back at interchange and went to his house to collect our pay from jasmine.
got $60.
after that, joe intro us to eat cavana.
darn it.
damn ex.
T^T
i wanna hao hao save my money one lor.
oh well, wadever.

after that everyone went to arcade ad spent our lat few hours there.
i forgot wad time we left le.
thik 9plus or 10plus.
then hx, er zi[zy] n larhvin send me home and they went home.

Finally one day without work.
lols.
suang ar~

got home, watched hot shot epi3 n 4.
hahas, and i saw this:

DAMN CUTE! xD

[[_waiting for my prince charming_]]
xD

xoxo, Jasmine
*SMILES*

P.S: i'm stronger than u think i am.
i've grow n i know how to manage my feelings.
i wont cry becoz of you.
i wont cry.
because i know there's no point crying.
instead of crying, i could use the time for crying to do smth else that would make me and the ppl around me happier. (:

2008-10-30T02:18:00.003+08:00

RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR~!!!

no matter wad, i hab to learn to stand on my own.
no matter how big the blow is, i hab to keep standing.
nth can make me fall.
wo yao jian qiang dehh huo xia qu.

i mustn't cry becoz of small things.
i can walk even without you.

today woke up 12plus n chiong working till 3plus the jas went to her drum lesson.
then hx, larhvin n zy meet us n help us out too.
finally, this job is over.
i earned $59 only. T^T

when i'm doing the 3th floor of the last BLK, hx came n scared me.
i was like DAMN SHOCK LAHHS.
he finish damn fast man.
still gt time come scared me dehhx.
*darmit, i chua sai. >.<" *

then he help me finish the 2th floor.
then we're finish le. then walk around randomly then went back blk309 n waited for the rest.
sat there for like 10 to 20min or so.
stood up n WHA!
my muscle hurt so much tt i realli cant walk much.
PAIN~!
T^T

then i walk till damn slow n all so hx piggy back me back.
sorry huh.
dunno my leg will like tt.
and...
I KNOW I'M HEAVY. xP
*muahahahahas*

then went back to meet joe n all then went to NP.
meet kor n jas again.
then celebrate kor's birthday.
heh heh heh, i found a chance to smash a slice of cake on his face i was cutting cake then his face so near n the others are like slowly using their fingure to put cake on his face.
so i cut a slice and SMASH! xD
*woahohohoho [x *

then kor wad chasing n being chased around. his HP n wallet got taken away so he was chasing the ppl who took his stuff while being chase by ppl who wanna gib him birthday bash.
LOLs.
then he also met a gurl that he's kinda intrested in so we keep making him go ask for number.
twice though.
lols.
damn evil.
but i know he wants her number lor.
everyone can see tt. we're just gibing him a little push~
how kind of us. [x

then 10plus going 11pm, everyone's going home.
so i set off along with jas n joe.
then on my way back, saw those thailand change SEX woman.
she walk like....
er....
backside and body swing opposite ways damn hard n like attracting attention.
DAMN...
HILARIOUS!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAS!
I CANT STOP LAUGHING!!!
LOLS.
=X

then got home, rest n watch tv n watch hot shot epi 2.
then now going to slp le.
nights ppl.

[[_LOVEme or HATEme_]]
._that is a question_.
xD

xoxo, Jasmine is back and stronger than ever!!!
hahas.

P.S:make up ur mind, to be nice to me and take my hand or be bad to me and leave me alone like how u used to.

2008-10-29T00:07:00.006+08:00

RAWR~!

before making any decision or doing anything that will changes someone's life along wif ur's,
make sure u think through it and dun regret it in the end,
becoz its nt only hurting euu neither does it only matters about you.
but someone else's feelings n life will change becoz of that decision n stuff u made.

so stop it before it's too late.
there's no more turning back later on.

Today woke up 1plus.
then go prepare n all then go work again.
fuck tt work.
damn tiring...
T^T

after that meet joe n jas n went to finish one cluster.
then went for dinner.
then go do again.

around 5pm plus hx sms me.
standart one.
everytime he goes to work then he will sms me.
sad tt my HP no money le.
cant sms...
=="
blahs~!
i wan to sms!!!
*hand itching for smsing.*

then work till 10.33pm.
called daddy to come fetch me.
then went home n watch tv.
quarrel wif mom a lit.
she suddenly boom, angry then scold.
siao cha bo. =="
no reason anyhw scold scold scold.

then since ytd, er jie has been accusing me losing her PSP cover.
DAMNIT!
i play so long never even realise the toopid cover over there,
then becoz of tt we've been quarreling tgt with my mom.
humph!
angry.
everytime also lyk tt.
haiis.
stupid family......
they never seems to understands me...
infact, they never seems to care about my feelings nor my words.
just becoz i'm the youngest....

now blogging.
boring life i hab here isnt it.
i rather it boring than being too entertaining.
i like the pace i'm going on now.

tml is chris[tofu]'s birthday.
i'm totally broke!
sorry kor, cant make it too special for euu.
so dont expect too much.

that toopid boii huh.
dunno wad he wan lahhs...
last time so mean to me.
take my existence for granted.
now he suddenly so nice to me.
i cant help but feeling uneasy.
nt that i dun like it.
but i'm afraid n worried.

*yawns*
tired.
headache whole day le.
leg pain.
even my toe hurts.

good night ppl...

[[_i dun wanna experience the feeling of heartbreak anymore_]]
._it hurts_.

xoxo, Jasmine is falling sick

P.S: i wan the boii who tell me he loves me and mean it without a doubt and who will treasure me.
if not, SHOO FAR FAR AWAY FROM ME.
thanks.

2008-10-28T02:17:00.004+08:00

and i tot i had finally free myself.
flying alone is lonely but at least it's nt hard n painful.

BOO~!

Today woke up at 11plus, sms chris n then meet them at 1.30 at MRT station.
went to toa payo to visit the wad working agency dehhx.
help us find job or smth dehhx.
then end up never open coz its public holiday.
*darnit!*

then went back to yishun eat LJS.
bert n Chris is talking so much of their fantasy crap that its so gonna corrupt my mind so soon man.
*god, clear my sin~*
*hear no evil~! xD*

after that i went back home n change then went to joe n jas house to meet them.
then took the papers n started working.
Hx & zy has been msging me all the way.
hahas, that made me nt that bored n time seems to fly faster than before.
but i was doing everything damn slow.
today is nt that tiring lahhs.
coz we started late.
only joe, jas n me doing at first.
around 6plus evening then start dehhx.
then we stop at 8 then bert, chris n Mrs kool[joe n jas's mom]
joined us.
then we spilt into 2gorup.
3guys, 3 gals.
the guys started first while we go back kool's house to take more flyer then go start.
but we were way faster than them.
when we finish 7blks le they still doing their 5th blk.
damn slow.
damn guys, wad hab they been doing.
xD

then finished 2cluster plus today.
Hx and Zy actually wanted to come n help.
but Zy gt O level exam tml while Hx had work in the evening till 9 so his parents dun wan him too tired so dun allow him come help us.
*thanks fer worrying about me so much wor. dont worry, i wont kill myself dehhx*
*my body nt that weak so dont worry wor. [:*

Well, its okay.
atnight it's much cooler.
so i hab more strength n motivation to do the job.
and everyone are mostly aslp and has closed their big doors.
so all i hab to do is throw it in.
damn easy lurhhs.
ahas.

then 11plus called daddy to pick me up.
then on the way back home bought mam mam home n eat.
was damn hungry + thristy.
then been watching tv ever since then.
lols.
after blog le then i'm going to slp le.
tired + headach + leg muscle still aches a little.
TML after joe's remedial, we're gonna start flyer job again.
this time, its gonna be only me, joe n jas again i guess.
oh well, i can dehhx, jai you jai you jai you~! (:

*yawns*
am tired...

wonder wad he's up to.
damn weird can.
been so so so so so damn weird...
wad r u up to man...

[[_still feels like a substitute, or its all just a misunderstanding_]]
._smth's realli so wrong in you_.

xoxo, Jasmine single but he gives me headach.

P.S: i wan the boii who would take my hand n tell me he loves me without a doubt.

2008-10-26T23:30:00.004+08:00

i'm gonna be a new person.
growing n changing to the person i wanna be.
Jai you Jasmine Ng ShuWei~!!!

ren wang wang dou hui zuo cuo shi.
yi dan tong guo le, cai hui liao jie zhi ji zuo cuo le sher mer.

ellos ppl.

Today woke up at 12plus.
damn tired.
then waited for the toilet as mummy still washing clothes.
then 2 plus meet joe they all then started the job.
as usual,
damn damn damn damn tired.
heard that the pay for each of us is $80.
will it ever get any higher?...
*pray pray*

then at the end of the day i pai ka.
leg muscle hurt damn much.
joel also like zombie today.
he's too tired too.
*shaking joel, slap joel, take joel head go bang wall. "joe, wake up~!!!"*

then went home and all le lor.

talk to chris about some stuff.
muahahahas, feel so good now.
heh heh...

tml going down wif chris to job interview.
after that then go my flyer job.

[[_i'm not a substituion_]]
._please dun come back with those intention_.

xoxo, Jasmine is tired.

P.S: if u love her more than me, dun even think of coming back.

2008-10-25T23:35:00.005+08:00

Today morning 8am wake up.
then go bath n all then sms JW.
was suppose to go fetch him as he dunno how to go joe house.
end up say he's nt going.
WTH, i wake up so early for hiimx lehhs.
*box euu ar.*

then prepared n all then go bus interchange n wait for er zi.
while walking towards interchange dehhx shi hou, Hx called me.
he was on his way to work.
then he called to check if i had woke up for work already or nt.
*hahas, i wake up le. wanna li siao me if i haven wake up right. heh heh! too bad~*
*told u towards work i very hardworking dehhx. see~!*

any way, we chat till er zi reach le then we hang up.
first time i was damn early and was waiting for someone.
lols.

after that went to joe house n all then we start work le lor.
then 2plus hx, JW n larhvin came n work wif us too.
then we chiong all the way, damn tired.
then went back n took more papers n come out n work again.
all day long man.
one flyer we put at the door step we'll earn 2cents.
lols.
we like went for 10 or more blks le.
leg's breaking...
back also aching, been climbing stairs n all.
*old liao... =="*

now i'm home.
damn tired.
feel like i'm falling apart from the inside out too.
*yawns*

in between our work, somehow conflict started.
siian
hate conflict in my gan family.

today ate two full meals.
was planing nt to but everyone's eating so...
must as well blend in.

kana cut by the flyer 4 times.
one of them damn pain.
the blood even kana my another fingure which is beside it by accident.
*ouch ouch ouch, pain~~~!*

and i found out, hen xing dehhx cut all contacts from the momo ren is a great way to forget hiimx.
you ppl out there should try that too.
in order to protect ur heart from any more harm, nt contacting nor traking his life is the best way.
Jai You oh ppl who are facing heartbreaks or breakups.
yao jian qiang yi dian~ (:
Gambatte yo!

[[_i dun wanna fall in love sillily like how i used to anymore_]]
._please, i'm nt a subsetube_.

xoxo, Jasmine

P.S: love me for who i am, nt coz i love you.
*i'm nt sad, i'm nt crying...*

2008-10-25T01:56:00.009+08:00

YOSH!!!
GAMBATTE NEHHX!!!
FIGHTO FIGHTO~!!!

Today woke up damn late, 3 plus then wake up.
then go bath n all n meet Joe, jas n zy at joe's n jas's house.
then waiting for the job info.
then 8.30 pass le.
then the man call joe n jas's mom n told her tml then can work.
such irresponsible boss.
fuck.

then joe n jas's mom cook dinner for us.
so i ate it wif everyone.
wasnt realli full but think that's enough for today.
it's my first meal and last meal of today. (:
common tummy, slim down~!
[x

then meet edbert as he tot gt work then at bus interchange somehow by accident meet chris kor.
i saw him so called out to hiim.
then he came along.
talk to jas about my relationship life since sec1.
then talk to her about some other stuff between she n zy too.
told her tt maybe me n joe might nt hab enough rights to know wad's the reason she broke up with zy, but Zy sure hab enough rights to know the reason, becoz he has been trying his very best in loving her n pampering her and gibing him everything he could. and about how she should try nt being too close wif the guys.

she reminds me of me.
when iie was wif WEE.
i made these mistakes too.
i understand her situaction, but i know this is just nt rights.
i've been in her shoe before, and maybe i'm still in her shoe right now.
and i know i can never change.
becoz, this is my gan family, my one and only closest group.
i had never manage to get along well with gurls.
i'm nt those kind of gurly gurls who play around girlyish and thinking beating and li siaoing each other is fun.

a gentle reminder:
the following is about my life, dun like it, dun read it.

pri 1&2&3, i've been fighting with guys and protecting the gurls and other guys from being bullied. then after school juii needa go home.
damn man can.
pri 4 &5, my only fren is my cousin and a gurl who's name angelina, i treat her like stead like tt.
everyday go her house play with her and protect her from bully and chat with her over the phone n buy things for her n all.
end up, being betrayed.
pri6, i hab a group of gurl frens who treat me like trash, act nice infront of me while backstabing me behind my back. then i started hanging out with 3 guys and i had so much fun with them running around n playing basketball n all and i even fell in love with one of them and end up my feelings had been played and i didnt even realise it.
sec1, meet wee teng, pohli and kai ling. they never actually liked me. i know they often talk bad things behind my back about how flirt and act i am and all. but they're nice ppl, they never actually abandon me untill a gurl who's bday is 10 days later than mine came along and trash my whole secondary school life making every gurl scolding me bitch n slut n all. was crying almost everyday i went to school, even teacher was worried and i even tred to kill myself. and tt's when i realise how weak a gurl's frenship could be. how easily it could be broken and how lightly most of them take frenship as. especialy the gurl who trash my life then. but things got sloved in the end. and in between all the conflicts i do hab a stead n he somehow, most of the time believed in me, i was thankful but at the most peachful time, he choose nt to trust me. damn guys. =="
sec2, been with guys n gurls, happy with my life and all as it seems some how peachfuly busy. and the only person thoughts i concern about it my best fren CP and my stead.
but somehow, smth happen and yeah, it trash my life again. sorry, nt allowd to say.
sec3, meet this guy called Wee, he's a super nice stead. loved him lots but i wasnt fateful. so i trash my own life again. been with gurls group and this time, thy gave me the most headache dehhx, idk wad i do to make them hab so many yi jian about me, but i know they never accepts me for who i am, troublesome bunch but no matter wad it is, i still treat them as frens even untill now. (:
sec 4, still trap between hx n Wee since last year aug. headache sial, and went through LOTS LOTS LOTS of pain. and i've learned alot n seems like i've grew up a little more. been wif gurls n guys group this year.
but i still prefer guys group as i realli dunno how to communicate with thre gurls. wif the guys, i can be anyone i want and everyone is like brothers or infact, family and alot alot conflict but no matter wad happen, everyone tends to somehow, one way or another, forgive each other in the end. loyal frenship. very jian yi qi and they accepts me for who i am and always tried to understands me. thanks guys. (:

seriously, my secondary school like i the most unstable ones and the most unforgetable one.
they might nt be the most fun ones but i mt great ppl. (:
think next year i going ITE le.
studies damn bad so bo bian...
haiis...
good bye northlands...
good bye fren...
good bye my confort zone...
and hello strangers n uncofortable new frens, faces and places...
may god bless me man...

OH YEAH, tml i will be working from 10.30am till all the way at night.
7 ppl going blk to blk to put flyer's at ppl door.
heard from joe that there's 187blk for us to go.
WTF.
and $50 per person for that???
=="
hope it's hua lahhs...

sorry, no photos today....

ANY BODY, JOB INTRO PLEASE!

[[_i'm nt gonna cry_]]
._cheerful is mask to my sadness_.

xoxo, Jasmine is happy!!! (:
[ya right, tt's so darn true... =="]

P.S: wo hui zai jian qiag yi dian dehhx.

2008-10-24T07:35:00.004+08:00

hello ppl.
sorry for nt blogging for the pass few days.
didnt feel like it.
too much to express that i dun feel tt its right to express out anymore.
feeling dumb in a way.

am able to control my sadness.
whether its alone or with ppl, i didnt cry or emo wor.
hahas.
li hai bahhs.
wo hen jian qiang dehhx wor~!
[x

might be changing my blog link.
but then again, maybe not...

now yishun raining, damn cooling.
love looking at how the rain makes the whole view look sad and emonish.
peaceful in a way.
if only the cars n buses would nt interrupt the quiet n peaceful feeling...

been eating porriged for one meals this two days.
nt bad nt bad.
can slim down.
xD

later maybe will hab flyer job.
$50 per day.
house to house dehhx.
nt bad pay.
joe's mother intro dehhx.
then monday might wan to go cut hair.
then jas accompany me.
think she also cutting her hair.
hahas.

alrights.
very early in the morning le.
been watching Hei Tang Qun Xia Zuan just now tt's why haven slp.
but i did slp around 11plus.
was too tired as i ytd night didnt slp well.
then 3plus midnight wake up again.
hahas
i'll go slp now.
nights ppl.

[[_smile and everything will be alright dehhx_]]
._yao zai jian qiang yi dian_.

xoxo, Jasmine signing off: 8,16am

P.S: i'm not sad, i wont cry... (:

2008-10-21T01:58:00.004+08:00

Today stayed home the whole day.
damn bored.
been watching anime and drama series.
untill i headache.
but who cares?
i dun.
xD

Thinking of getting a hair cut on Thursday.
So i'm so freaking nt gonna spent any cent this week.
Meeting Wee for KBOX on Thursday too.
will tt be the last day we meet?
maybe bahhs.

his school start le.
he'll get busier.

i noticed lots of stuff.
when ever he love me, i didnt treasure hiimx.
when ever i love hiimx, he didnt treasure me.
it happened before.
around july 2oo7 dehhs shi hou, he was like tt too, tt why i kinda went to hx.
i told hiimx about it too tt time, i remembered.
but after i told hiimx, he try his best to come back.
but i still pushes hiimx away.
but after me n hx break up, he cheer me up but i stil didnt treasure hiimx n he went away.
then i went to hiimx then now once again, he's lyk tt.
was it fated or smth.
are we nt meant to be tgt?

but i always wanted to believe fated or nt fated it doesn't matter.
becoz our life lies on our own hand.
trying our best changes LOTS of stuff.
we just gotta believe in mi-re-cal [dunnohow to freaking spell it]

but i'm tired le.
and he told me he's confused about his feelings towards me.
so, maybe, i shall help hiimx answer this.
becoz, i can see and feel the answer pretty well from hiimx.
so yeah...

Cant wait till thurdays.
can cut hair + meet hiimx.
and surely i had started to miss hiimx le.
Can't wait to see you boii. (:

i dun wanna drown myself in sadness.
atleast not anymore.
who would like it.
tt's why i'm trying my very best to be cheerful~
hope i'm nt too hyper n cheerful that it seems weird wor.
hahas.
so ppl, bare with me a little.
just a little more. (:

cant's wait to take lots lots picture~~~
he he~

Thursday Thursday....
haiis... (:

xoxo, Jasmine is still Jasmine no matter wad.

P.S: 能不能告诉我, 你爱我 ?
You can't, right?

2008-10-20T00:04:00.004+08:00

sorry ppl for post without pictures.
internet been slow as i'm using back my desktop le.
my lappy kinda crash[from the inside].
here goes my post.

Last night didnt sleep well, been crying when my sis is nt home n banging the walls n bed when she's home.
super confused.
i realli dunno wad to do anymore.
i'm so super lost.
so didnt sleep well either.
been waking up in the middle of my sleep almost every 1hr.
4plus wake up, 5plus wake up, 6 plus wake up, 9plus wake up then 10plus wake up again.

then woke up.
couldn't control my emotions so ask GANS to go out with me.
hx reached yishun MRT first then i reach then walk around MRT n NORTHPOINT with himx while waiting for the other 2.
jor n zy.
then after a while, joe reached.
then we went back MRT station n meet zy n took MRT to go causeway point n eat n played arcade.
after that went HX house.
joe left at 5plus for church.
then zy fell aslp around 6plus.
so hx on the Taiwan Drama "HOT SHOT" ep1 for me.

and i was hoping to the one who watched with me was we.
like he promised.
but, guess it's okay.
he's busy with alot of stuff.
glad he's enjoying his life.
i'm happy for hiimx.
i'll be okay alone here.

after 1ep, Hx's parents came home.
watch zy played GO FISH n laughed at hiimx n all.
then chris came n after a while we went home.
been feeling better today with my GANS.
they help me get stuff off my mind when they're around.
but guess i still gotta face it alone when they're nt around.
it's okay.
i can manage dehhx.
wo hui jian qiang yi dian de.

Before i left HX house, i msg wee a msg, he replied.
then i msg him again, he didnt reply for a very long time.
i've been waiting.
even for the whole of today.
i tot he wanted to play BBall.
so even though i went out, i was waiting for his msg n remembering which bus i can take from causeway to tamp, which bus i can take from kathib.
i remembered.
but end up he didnt msg me about meeting me.
and then i msg him n he always seems busy for me.
i understands he's busy n cant always meet me.
but even for a sms or call also busy?.
haiis.
nvm, nvm.

how i wish he can be like last time.
he was always there for me, regardless sms, msn, call or even by person, even without me requesting for it.
he was always there.
now?
i can feel he's trying a little.
but the feelings n the things he said n do always make me feel like he dun need me at all.
he dun mind not having me at all.
tt's wad i feel from hiimx...
tt's wad i've been troubled about.
with sleepless nights.

i'm realli thankful he has hang on so long for me.
but when i realli lose hiimx that day around july.
it made me realise he was always the one i needed.
the love i dreamed of.
i regretted not treasuring hiimx.
yet thankfull all those painfull things happened.
becoz if those things didnt happened, i wouldn't realise how important he is in my life.
and how to love n treasure himx.

but guess...
i can only take it as a lesson, an experience.
i can only long for such love n watch it fly n disappear.
i no longer know how to maintain this relationship.
no matter wad i do or how much i tried, i feel like it nt gonna do anything.
so i gave up.
yeah, low self confident n wad ever other shit u call tt.
i'm lousy at this.
i love hiimx, but...
i no longer know how to work it out anymore.

maybe its time for me to rest le...
and think about all tt had happened.
and learn about it.

let's look back:

the first time i saw Wee was when i'm in sec2 dec holidays.
on 28 or 29 of oct 2oo6 we meet up.
and 1nov2oo6 we stead.
the first time i saw hiimx, i feel sparks and like i met someone special.
and surely, we gt tgt.
then we tried to know more about each other.
childishly, we note down the stuff we like.
and said how compatible we are.
lols.
damn cute.
we always joke with each other n we never get bored of each other.
i throw tendroms sometime yet he always manage to cheer me up.
he always did things for me and i alway did things for hiimx.
we never once quarrel and i feel like we never will either.
i love himx n he love me the same way.
untill my hearts play trick on me and stuff happens.
and more n more worst, things happens.
and our relationship worsen.
but regardless wad, he never gives up.
i was so darn touch but am sad tt i cant reply to his feelings anymore.
i tot about tt i failed this relationship le, i dun wanna failed another so keep pushing himx away.
and when i finally break up.
he came in n brought me out to lots of places to cheer me up.
he never fails to make me feels his existance.
he tends to sms me alot, msn me even untill the last min and even after msn, we called each other n chat till we fell aslp.
but, i drowned myself in sadness n never seems to see wad's infront of me.
someone that has been silently waiting for me, been there for me.
and when i finally realize it.
it was too late already.
i tired my best to get it back to how it is.
but i guess, times fly.
ppl changes.
and he can no longer be there for me anymore.
so no matter wad i do.
nth seems to change back.
nth seems to work it out as well as it seems anymore.

if i could realli go back in time as the me now.
i realli wanna treasure that himx.
that himx tt loves me so much.
so much that i could never imagine.

but, its over...
haiis...

Boii, i just wanna tell you iloveyou.
and no one can replaced that love we shared.

i promise i'll always remember you, and i swear that our love was always true.

[[_it's never too late to try_]]
._sometimes, things just dun work out the way we wanted to_.

xoxo, Jasmine love Wee

P.S:no matter wad, i still loves you.

2008-10-18T23:14:00.002+08:00

Feel sad n happy today.
Today DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN happy with my gan family.
Love you guys... n gal.
xD

Meet joe n jas at 2.30pm.
then saw a kawaii neko.
played with it a little.
it's damn playful can.
it keep playing with my hand.
but i did get clawed n bite a lit.
but it doesnt realli hurt.
the redness gone after a while.
then meet zy er zi n hx at MRT station.
then took MRT to ang mo kio.
ZY is so pissed off with his own blood mother n her fren.
becoz they were suppose to meet us at 3pm at YCK n drive us to the condo n we go play there.
but they were darn late n ZY just felt bad for making us wait.
i tried to say smth to make him feel better.

but...
gt scolded.
yeah yeah, my fault my fault.
i shouldn't even say anything.
i dun understand, so i purposely anyhow say can?
n to think i almost cried.
~~fucking cry baby me.~~

cheer up baobiie er zi.
gan marmii here will always dote n love u dehhx.
so smile~

so we walked around untill his mom n his mom fren reach AMK hub dehhx taxi stand.
we all squeeze in the car n got to the place.
went swimming n then played around like usual.
trying to drown each other.
while i keep clinging to ppl.
xD
lazy to tiptoe in the swimming pool.
muahahas.

after tt, jas accidentally kicked SOMEONE'S tummy.
and end up i go scolded "fuck off."
yeah, dumb for me to even care whether u're alright or nt.
hao xing mei hao bao.
nvm, so i did as told, FUCKED OFF AS FAR AS I COULD.

after that i we went to bath n change n went to had dinner n went for pool.
and played basket ball too.
then i sat at a side while they go play 3vs3 BBall match.
SOMEONE wasn't feeling well.
so switched player.
then i asked tt SOMEONE if that SOMEONE is okay or nt.
ask a few time becoz that SOMEONE'S face seems worser n worser so i got worried.
but guess that SOMEONE gt irritated n no matter wad i said, the reply was "STOP ASKING"
so yeah, my worrying is for nth.
i shouldnt care tt much.
KPO me.
idiot right?

after that, played pressure or was it call bullet? or wad ever it is called.
xD

JAS won!
i was the 2nd last to die.

after that took our stuff n Joel's parents sent me n hx home.
then gt home, miss called Wee to tell him i'm home n go bath.
then online, read CP blog.
then emo.
then wee call, so call himx back but very fast juii hang up liao.
then he called me again after that n talk a little then hang up again.

yeah, guess i'm a sensitive person.
but, these are signs that shows me that other ppl are much more important to you than me.
this is observations.
i know i kinda sux at it so i just take wad ever come.
n i see n judge it myself.
and yeah, tt the results.
i cant say i'm nt important.
just nt as important.
yeah, i know i'm nt the only thing important to you.
there's stuff u take it much more important than me like ur studies.
n ppl who are more important than me, to you, like ur frens.
and even ur gans n all.
i'm nt jealous.
i'm just thinking.
just wondering.
just comparing.
just asking myself.
and telling myself stuff.
and tt's all.
you do nt needa bother.
you gt ur hands full already.
dun needa bother.
dun needa try to squeeze another thing into ur hand when its already full and u cant.
even though this is just one thing.
but you're just one person.
how many thing can u concentrade on with just one life of urs?
go do ur stuff bahhs, i'll be here.
i wont bother you.
i just wan u to be happier and lessen the weight on ur shoulder.
i dun wanna be an extra weight to you.
coz if u try wanna squeeze me into ur handfull hand.
it'll be a very big n heavy stone.
becoz this is no game.
this is something i'm taking it serious of.
i've told you.
I AM SERIOUS THIS TIME.

i dunno are u sad or nt.
i dunno are u serious or nt.
i dunno if u love me or nt.
i dunno.
i dun understand you.
i dun understand ur feelings.
i dunno wad u're thinking.
i dunno wad's going through ur mind.
and i WONT know a thing if u dun open up to me and tell me.
i wanna know.
i wanna know everything.
i wanna understands u too.
wad u thinking, wad feeling, wad u doing.
which person who love you dun?
becoz i do, tt why i wanna know, i cared.

and mostly, and sadly.
i feel like...
haiis...
smth's nt working out between us.
i dunno.
little stuff always happens and made me feel sad.
maybe i'm just sensitive, maybe i'm asking too much from you.
but since i said 'little stuff', isnt it so little that you should be able to so it so easily?

[[_the changes hurts_]]

xoxo, Jasmine has been feeling DAMN DAMN DAMN sad.

2008-10-14T22:59:00.003+08:00

Today morning wake up damn tired.
force myself up n went to school for graduation day.
the talks all about poly dehhx.
wth, i cant get in poly lahhs...
siian.

then they talk while i sleep.
lols.
damn tired.

school ends at 11am.
after school actually wanna go town find job.
but i fell aslp.
shit.
i'm sorry.
terribly sorry.
dun mean to dua you all dehhx.

sleep all the way till 4plus.
xiao wen called and said she gt lorbang for me and hui yi.
copy down the no and all.

then watch dvd till 7plus at night.
then bathn blog n all.
damn boring now.

keep smsing Wee today.
prepaid card money left $7+ nia.
WTF.
it's like i just used it for 1 week only n $30 gone.
time to use my own money go top up card le.

maybe i just thinks too much this few days.
maybe humans changes and stuff changes n all.
i think i should just simply accept things the way it is now.
even though i've always long for a guy who can be there for me most of the time.
being with the one i love almost everyday, is such a blessing to me.
but i guess i just hab to understand that he's busy with work n fren n studies.
i just gotta undrstands that i'm nt the onli thing important to him.
yeap...

gambatte shuwei.
holidays are here, time to party + work n a shop till drop thingy.
xD

Tml meeting Wee to go far east.
damn happy~!
Can't wait till tml. (:

xoxo, Jasmine loves hiimx.

P.S: Sorry ppl, no photo today.
Maybe i should take lots lots photo tml. (:

2008-10-13T22:35:00.004+08:00

RAINBOW!

Today woke up, went bath n went to meet er zi n his gan-LaoPa.
then we had lunch tgt.
then i walk to the western shop which i always feared the most as all of them are guys n always seems scary.
ordered my food and payed for it then he hand me my change and said "xiao jie, ni hen piao liang"
i was super surprised...
so i smiled to himx n walked away.
xD

after that ate le juii go zy house kuan yuan came along.
after that we played basketball tgt with joe,chris n jas.
keep switching teams here n there 3vs4.
coz we odd no.
DAMN fun.
xD

everyone was injured at the end of the game.
iie feel down 3 time, kana hit by ball 1 time n kana hit by ppl arms 2 time.
got 2 scratched n 1 blueblack.
LOLS.
the bball game was SUPER FUN.
xD

after our game, we all sat bus 811 n went home.
i went home n bath n meet mom.
then went to visit ah gong then went for dinner at chong pang.
saw li shen there.
and some other group of ah bengs.
somehow, i detest ah bengs.
alot like to talk big.
damn disgusting.
*vomit*

ate spagatti and satay for dinner.
yummy.

after that juii went home le.

my com damn hate chiness, just like me.
it'll show chiness words on the net, but cant type and can't read.
i send song with chinese name also cannot.
damn!
[x

Chris kor just now called me and told me wad happened to hiimx.
i'm worried about hiimx.
dead worried.
Kor, hope you'll be okay.

These few days been thinking alot.
maybe i just thinks too much.
i should stop thinking so much.
i guess i should never find someone who i truly love with my heart.
so i wouldn't think so much, coz i will careless, so lesser problems will be there.

i just cant help comparing him before n after.
guess it's my fault after all.
it's my fault, it's my fault.

i'll end here.

xoxo, Jasmine misses hiimx.

2008-10-13T00:20:00.004+08:00

Today, i cant help it but feeling the sadness within me.
i kept holding back my tears.
why?
what is it that made me feel so sad n lonely?
why is it that i feel like crying...
kanashii nehhx...

there's so much i wanna tell hiimx.
but i dun wanna be so hard on himx.
sometimes i keep telling myself, he just need time.
is it true or am i lying to myself again?
i'm worried.
so much to express, but i cant.
sometimes i feel like its time to move on.
sometimes i dun.
sometimes i just dun bare to let go.
am i just dumb?...

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

i hate this kind of feelings.

Today stayed home.
waited for my new fan to arrived.
it came n gt fixed.
after that, went dinner with mama n da jie.
then juii come home le.

wad a boring n sad day...

amount of beef meat...

amount of bean sprout...

[[_why is it that ppl can find what they long for but i can't_]]
._Guess i've lost it_.

xoxo, Jasmine

P.S: i know, but it hurts.

2008-10-12T01:24:00.002+08:00

Today actually meeting up for swimming in the morning but joe n jas didnt manage to wake up.
surprisingly, iie auto wake up at 7am plus.
call joe joe a few times then chirs called me.
iie was fuking tired.

end up, i went back sleep n joe called me at 9 plus.
so we decided swimming at evening then i went back sleep.
after that 1plus i wake up n calle everyone n decided to meet up for bsasketball.
bath n all n wear my school PE shirt n ready to leave.
kor come n meet me first and iie walk out of the door then he tell me no more sports for today.
just normal outing.

so went back into my house, change n all for 5mins.
come out, kor was shock
i change so fast.
from a no make up sporty gal, change to a make-up party gal.
LOLS.

so we went for my first meal of the day.
jap rice bowl[katus bowl]
with ribina.
was bloody full.

then we walk around.
looked at baby clothes.
so KAWAII NEHHS!
then we meet joe, jas, hx n zy at time zone lurhhx
played at time zon for like quite long.
think spent more that $20 there.
lols.

then we went to near my school there, meet JiaWei for basketball.
hehe, the game we play keep on go on tie.
nt bad nt bad.
think my bball skill gt improve alittle le bahhs.
or was it becoz everyone's injured due to ytd Bball match with younger kids?

after the bbal game, split into groups.
Jaiwei n zy n hx went home while the rest of us went for dinner.
jas, joe n me had friedrice for dinner.
yummy.
iie drank ice milo too.
joe also took alot of my photos.
super random.
u can go see it at his blog, i've linked hiim.

after that, joe n jas's parents came n featch them n they went off.
then kor send me off afterthat.
yeap, tt's all.

PHOTO TIME!!!

dunno wad to wrote about this. xP

sorry tt iie never block the raisin away. xD

but iie did cover the raisin here. [x

xoxo, Jasmine.
This post took me one whole night n day to finish it.
Thanks to the speed of the Internet & com.

P.S: I'm curious about our love,I don't understand why you don't take my hand & tell me you care,I see all the signs, but if you wanna be mine,don't leave me up in the air,You better let your love show,Let me know, or let me go ; ♥ i love you boy.

2008-10-09T22:45:00.006+08:00

Today woke up at 1pm.
Meet HuiYi n HuiYing at 2.30 at yishun MRT station.
Bought news paper n search for jobs n all.
Went for an interview.
but feel like the pay damn little can.

it's a jap resturant at clacke quay.
then the manager there is a japaness then he damn funny can.
LOLs.
he tried speaking eng saying "hello"
then iie tried speaking jap and said "hajimimashite"
then he was like DAMN shock.
then he went O.o "oh! hajimimashite!"
then he tot i know jap then speak jap to me then iie was like shacking my hand and all of us laughed.
damn funny.
his eng is nt that good but he tried his best to explain and iie tired my best to understand.
hahas.

after that, we parted with HuiYing n went to meet CP, Jj, PohLing, LiYing, Andy, Edwin, Sebas, WenQiang & DongWen[almost forgot that he's there xD]
at far east plaza.
WTF!!!
see alot of nice clothes can.
very tampted.

after that walk around with them till 8 going 9 then took mrt home and reach yishun around 9 going 10.
After that then went home lor.

On my way home from Orchard to Yishun, iie tot of lots of stuff.
About me and Wee.
and have been wondering about some stuff for quite sometime le.
haiis...
been thinking about it ever since then.
super xing ku.

hab to keep restraining myself the whole day.
"i musn't sms him, i mustn't."

you asked why?
well, becoz, iie wanted to see if he'll msg me even without me msging hiimx.
This morning, iie dunno was it becoz iie send hiimx my new no then he msg good morning or was it of his own will.
but somehow, after giving a little tot about it, iie feel like it was becoz i send hiimx my new no.
or am i wrong?

sad...
if iie hadn't msg hiimx at 2.25 midnight.
would he even tell me himself that he'll be at his fren house?
no.

Do you ppl think this is controlling?
THIS IS FUCKING NT CONTROLLING.
i just wanna be informed.
iie just wanna know where he is and wad's he's doing, tt's all.
aren't this the most basic thing that every stead also will think about dehhx?
is it realli so hard?.
better than iie keep worring about it myself right?

fine, we're nt stead yet but.
we're working on it aren't we?
it just becoz that he said he'll be busy and will nt hab time for me.
tt's why this relationship is still underconsideration from two of us.
becoz i'm kinda sticky.

tt's why if we stead, problems might come up one after another.
but if we don't stead, it's also another problem. [dun ask me why, u guys should know.]
haiis.

but that's nt the only problem...
there's even greater things running through my mind.
but i had yet to comfirm it yet.
haiis...
let's nt talk about it.

finally feel better now.
after msging hiimx how iie felt and what i'm thinking, it feel better.
i hope he understand how i feel now.
and finally i'm able to be more straight forward about this kind of stuff.
iie always tends to keep it to myself.
thinking it would be better if iie keep it to myself.
lying to myself he's just like that or, it's just once or, i'm thinking too much or, i'm just sensitive or, it's okay it doesn't hurt or, i'm fine i wont cry or, becasue he love me or smth lyk tt.
always scared tt after saying how iie felt n wad i think would worsen our relationship.
but truth is, if u dun say it out, things will jus eventually go worst.
we should speak our mind and try to slove it tgt, isn't that right?...

i'm been trying my best not drowning myself in sadness.
wo hen jian qiang oh~
hahas [x
compliment me too lehhs.
xD

FUCK. my hair is ugly, time for hair cut soon.

handmade nutcracker. [x

pretty rights? one small doll there can cost up to $75.
becoz it's hand made and well made with good quality of wood and paint.
this whole set can cost more thaan $300.

chocho. the woman

museli. the man

[[_i'll always love you_]]
._it's a promise_.

[[_i still love you_]]
._NoMatterWad_.
(:

P.S: Finally, a post with pictures. xD

xoxo, Jasmine will always love you.
sign off, 3.27am

2008-10-08T23:52:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 4TH MONTH OF MY SINGLE LIFE~!

today's 8 of oct.
the date i broke up was 8 of june.
lols

today had my last paper.
FnN paper.
think i sure go in ite le...
siians.

after paper, i went home in the rain n bath n took cab down to tamp.
tot that it'll be faster that way.
but end up, nt much different.
spent $19.50 on cab fare.
after that, took bus 293 to tamp ave 3 or 4 and meet Wee, HaoKor n Bing.
Play basket ball tgt.
8plus had dinner with Wee then bus home.

gt home, been lying on my bed ever since, my mang chang tong till i cannot walk.
SUPE DUPER PAIN.
scared later need go operation.
fuck, i dun wan~
haiis.

shuwei ar shuwei, get well soon.

happy yet sad day.
haiis.
no no no, think positive man shuwei~
cannot let sadness drag me down.

anyway, iie change phone number le.
FRENS, if u never recived my msg on wad's my new number, msn me.
if i consider you my fren, i'll gib euu my no.

xoxo, Jasmine ng shu wei

2008-10-07T01:36:00.002+08:00

simply loves you.

Sorry ppl.
My blog is plain these few weeks as i'm busy with study and stuff.
So yeah, i'm busy and i tends to forget to take pictures.
Pardon me please.

After the exams, i'm thinking of giving my blog as makeover and a new beginning.
Depending on whether i'm attatch or single.
Hahas.
there's so much i wanna do after exams.

# .look for job
# .play private server cabal
# .buy hoddie[1blackBG & 1whiteBG]$30
# .buy 1 or 2 hotpants[jeans material n color]$30
# .buy belts$20
# .buy FBT shorts[silver&black]$20
# .SHOPPING
# .go facial[mama spon xD]
# .get pay and bring mama to arcad & eat sakae sushi buffee.$50
# .bring baobiies to sakae.$40
# .watch anime
# .hang out with bf and gans.
# .make my own blogskin
# .take lots lots picture
# .make more frens
# .excersise and slim down
# .cut hair$30
# .maybe soft reborn hair
# .maybe dye hair
# .maybe get eyelash extension

wah wah
hiong ar.
poket kana hole soon.
lols.

Been home these two days.
DEAD BORED.
all iie can do is stare at the computer screen and study FnN.
CANT STAND being at home.
i'll turn mentally crazy if this goes on any futher.

maybe some ppl right.
staying single is the best.
so u'll not lose intrest in much stuff.
which wad i'm suffering now.
fuking pain idiot.
damnit.

but too bad, i'm in love.
it's a price i'm willing to pay for love.
yeap, nth's free in life.
sad~.

tt's all for today ppl.

Oyasumi

2008-10-05T01:59:00.002+08:00

Today woke up around 12pm plus.
msg wee and went do my own studying.
FnN.
Guaiis bahhs? (:

Then he woke up thn reply.
Went to Tamp alone then sit bus 22.
he got up 3 or 4 stops after i got up.
i told hiimx the bus license plate no 406P.
iie still remember.
hahas.
then we went all the way to serangoon to eat at chomp chomp.
while looking for sit, we saw Bing.
Chat a little then went look for place again.
after we found a place to sit, i sat down while Wee went to order stuff.
He came back n we started chating while waiting for the food.
First food that came was carrot cake.
it's like super nice.
then came chicken wings.
then Xia mian.
then satay.
ate till like, bloated.
then he went to order dessert.
jelly.
yummy~
but iie super full le by then.
so ate till left a little, Wee help me finish it.
Total cost of our dinner: $21.50.
wow.

In between when we eat, Bing keep 'visit' us.
lols.
once with Winnie 'jie jie' too.
hahas.

After food, we walk to hougang n took bus 25 to AMK interchange.
then took 169 to yishun.
when we reach our blk, we st down n chat n all.
am damn happy today.
(:

Wee, hope euu hab a god night sleep.
Thanks for today.
Gambatte for ur work tml~
^-^

[[_No one is ever forgotten_]]

[[_iloveyou_]]

xoxo, Jasmine

2008-10-03T00:11:00.002+08:00

Today iie stayed home
didnt went out
guaiis bahhs? (:

Larhvin & Joel msg me and ask if i'm meeting them for lunch.
iie reply no as i'm staying home to study.
now i'm damn nervous can.
very scared lehhs...
feel like i'll feel.
siian.
if iie go in ITE how?
>.< haiis...
zhe mo ban...
iie die liao...
zhe mo ban....

iie tot if iie fail iie wouldn't cry.
but now iie already feel like crying...
zhe mo ban?...
if iie fail how?...
if iie end up in ITE iie wonder what is awaiting for me over there
how much will my life change?
how much will i change?
what type of ppl will i meet there?
what type of frens will iie meet there?
will iie be able to make any fren?
will i be able to adapt?
will Wee be disappointed in me?
how will my furture life become?

haiis...

juii ming ar...
iie realli did panic le.
first time in my life, i'm so worried...
that means i'm realli so gonna die...
haiis...

Today msg Wee a little by little.
he's working today so dun wan distrub hiim too much...
haiis...
iie wanna be with hiimx everyday...
but is it possible...
iie dunno...
i'll always be free...
what about hiimx?...

iie dun like this kiind of feelings...
there's stuff that iie wanna say...
but iie dun hab the guts to say it here...
iie guess i'll blog in in my another blog...

xoxo, Jasmine Misses Hiimx.

2008-10-02T01:22:00.003+08:00

iloveyou... (:

Today woke up at 11am.
Wee msg me then iie wake up dehhx...
>.<
i'm so damn pig can...

was suppose to meet Wee, Hao, Bing, Jeff n one jie jie they all at 12 but end up iie reach around 1.30pm plus.
opps.
sorry ppl.
am a damn good sleeper...
=X

then went played basketball tgt n all.
play halfway gt a little kid dunno blink out from where dehhx come join in.
lols.
his strength kinda big for a little kid like hiimx.
small n skinny.
hahas.

after that the guys VS pri school kid.
beginning its so obvious tt the guys are wining the kids.
but no one count the scores so restarted.
end up is the kids win.
the kids like play rough sial.
one of them keep bang here bang there.
hao kor stand there look at hiim only also kinda bang.
ma chium rugby.
=="

suan le.
after we end game then the kid's gang become bigger n bigger sial.
the age range from pri school all the way till above 16.
coz iie saw one of them, DAMN OLD.
look kinda like uncle like tt...
the kid's group from 6 ppl, grow all the way till like more than 15 ppl.
haiis...
kids these days...
seeing them joining bad company like kinda feel pain for them...
walking the wrong path n all...

after that we went to a coffee shop rest + drink.
then we went seperate ways.
iie follow Wee.
wait under his blk for hiimx to bath then we meet up again n then meet hao n bing to go jeff's house.
they played mahjohn while iie study in a conner with hao kor playing cabal with the bing's lappy.
hahas.
tried TRIGO.
almost went crazy.
stupid maths.
iie nt good in math.
i hate math.
i hate that capter too.
TRIGONOMETRY.
i hate that!!!
>.<

after that Wee n Hao kor join team play mahjohn n they win sial!!!
lols.
gd fer them.
then after that we left jeff house at around 11.30pm.
first is iie forgot my water bottle when we outside the door le.
then is hao forget his ear peice when we waiting for lift.
then is i forget my HP when we under the blk le.
lols
so we all went back up tgt to take my HP.

took my HP le then we went down back n flag for a cab.
the cab fare cost about $8 going $9 i think.
kind okay.
nt tt ex.

Wee send me up n we parted.
as usual...
very sher bu dehhx....
>.<

gt home, sms Wee n Hao kor n went bathing.
now blogging n putting on mask
lols.
about to go sleep le.

Today was a Fun day.
kinda memorable.
i'm finally getting use to being around Hao, bing n jeff they all le.
nt that shy le.
atleast better.
i'm realli glad~

okay.
i'm realli tired le...
body also telling me to sleep le.
coz from young my legs or arms inside will hurt when i'm freaking tired.
it's a since born stuff.
so ya...

Wee ar~
sleep early oh...
Tml euu gotta work.
scared euu tired....
Gambatte on working tml~
Dun forget ur meals too huh.
imy. (:

Oyasuminasai.

2008-09-30T01:49:00.005+08:00

Today had my N Level Science Bio n Chem paper.
And Maths paper1.

Bio was like okay okay.
Chem too.
not too easy, not to hard.

Maths was like, TOTAL FAILURE.
T-T

Today sms Wee alot.
he replied all of my sms.
was realli happy.
he damn cute can~

Chat with Hx on msn.
it's like months since we last chat on msn.
kinda sort things out n clear things up.
both of us has the same mind concept.
we both somehow understand that we can never be tgt again.
so yeap...

me n Wee is like going on well.
am DAMN happy.
if iie get the chance to hold on to euu again, i would never ever wanna let euu go ever again.
^-^

Oh oh, iie remember tagging n saying i'll be talking about my group of frens.
the GUYS.

yup, they're GUYS.
and most ppl might think that it's unusual to be best fren with such a big group of guys.
but who say it's impossible.
well, we know each other for quite sometime already.
and yeap, iie did stead with one of them before.
but break liao.
n we talk it out le.
and said that somehow, we're so gonna stay as frens.

as for the others.
chris n joe know me too well le.
so much that we dun think we can make it as stead any more.
so dun worry.

zhang yuan is my ER ZI.

Larhvin is a INDIAN.
iie super race-sis one.
so yar...

And one and only, JASMINE.
who has the same eng name as me.
love her to core.
((:
but iie nt lass.
[x

They might be a group of guys but they're great frens.
they might hab some good points n some bad points.
but each of us are filling up the good n bad points of each other.
We help out one another, and never like leaving anyone behind at all.
We might get angry at each other and fight once in a while.
but this will never break our frenship at all.
because we believe in each other and understand how each of us take each other as.
we're just like one big family.
a family that i will never wanna lose.

but iie know good things never last.
maybe one day, we'll break up.
having our own other group.
but iie know we'll never forget the time n moments we shared n the memories we created.
(:

._OneForAllAndAllForOne_.
._NoOneWillBeLeftBehind_.

xoxo, Jasmine wanna hold on to himx tightly n never ever let him go.

guo nan nu

2008-09-28T21:56:00.007+08:00

ppl who didnt read this post on 28 sept then too bad lor.
iie remove the valgarities n all le.

Sorry ppl for the vulgarities.
i know that its so nt me.
but iie feel better after scolding all that.
dun ask me who iie scolding.
that bitch and bastard will know themselves.
if they dun then too bad lor.

if any of u wanna approach me n say i'm scolding u then go ahead.
becoz u ownself admit u're tt kind of ppl dehhx wad.
iie never say the person name down wad.
go ahead n hate me.
i DUN care.
u desearved to be in my hating list.
becoz u did nth but LANJIAO stuff to make me hate you.
u should be proud of urself.
becoz most of the ppl dun get the chance to.
its hard to get into my hating list.
congratz, u're the bitchest of the bitch and the moronest of the morons.
do u wan trophy?

Current No Of Ppl In My Hatig List: 4
keep smiling idiots.

u FORCED n MADE me hate YOU with ur own bare hands.
dun ever forget that.
NaBie.

today wake up then prepare n go study with CP le.
study study study.
cant learn much.
head feel like exploding.
having a very bad headache.
dunno why also.
since 2 days ago already gt slightly dehhx.
but after that the pain just getting bigger n bigger day by day.
today was like rapidly hurting me.

then 6.15pm, we left MAc n went home n all.
now home n blogging.

read someone's stuff.
feel bloody hurt n angry.
why do u like lying to me so much?
does lying so much gin u anything?
u'll regret it soon.
if ppl end up finding ur lies, u'll be dead!
but u're the first liar that i meet that can LIE SO WELL.
what's ur trick?
teach me lehhs~
pui!
iie dun wanna learn such lan jiao stuff from u.

seriously, its time to start changing for the better.
it's never too late.
so stop it.
stop lying n hurting ppl.
stop it!....

*SMILES*
damn happy.
lols.
actually hai hao lahhs...
Wee msn m when iie was out to ask me to Cheer Up.
iie wonder do he know what's wrong with me.
do he know why am i sad?
oh well...
(:

loving someone...
unconditionally?

love them THE WAY they love u.
love them for WHO THEY ARE.
TREASURE them.
TRUST them.
be TRUTHFUL to them.
be LOYAL to them.
if there's anything u think that will affect the relationship, talk it out with ur partner.
dun drag things too long, it'll onli make matter worst.
it takes two hand to clap.
if one of the couple refuse to talk things out fairly, then there's no use trying to hang on.
unless there's a reasonable excuse.
be CONFIDENT in urself n the relationship.
LOVE urself before u love others.
you LIVE FOR URSELF, not for others.
no one like EMO ppl. so dun emo too much.
if there's anything wrong, say it out.
surprise them once in a while n do things for them to assure them that u love them and you'll always do and he/she is always special to you.
think about their feelings before saying anything that'll hurt them.
u dun wanna be hurt in that way either.
if u think ur feeling's fading for them, tell them.
they'll be sad n might even cry.
but atleast they're prepared so it wont be as hurtful as a one shot blow.
if u're falling in love with someone, end the realtionship quickily n tell them why u wanna break.
DUN EVER LIE SAYING THAT U THINK SHE LIKES SOMEONE ELSE BETTER OR SMTH.
u'll end up keep her hanging on.
say iloveyou to ur partener only when u MEAN IT.
dun play with her feelings.
if u say u dun love her anymore MEAN IT.
becoz u'll keep her turning rounds n end up creating more trouble for urself.
and after saying u dun love her any more.
CUT ALL CONTACT FOR ATLEAST HALF A YEAR.
no one can realli actually forget that person they realli love that fast unless they have fallen deeply for anther.
and ever if she/he had stead after leaving euu, leave them alone.
they need time to deepen their love.
NEVER EVER stuck ur head in even if she's feeling down.
unless u love her, but for the best of her, dun!...

loving someone doesn't means u hab to entertain them n all.
i know you're worry that he/she will be bored out by u.
playing with her hair or just li siao-ing him/her is enough.
we just need the one we love to be beside us, showing us
and that's pretty much enough for gals.
guys, iie nt sure.
coz i'm nt one.
but for so far, what i know, most of the guys are ~~idiots~~ more likely to like being entertain.
so gals, watch out.

oh oh, and guys, some gals are need reassurance.
saying i love you n i miss you n just sparing time out to be with her once in a while is nt enough.
NEVER NEVER NEVER BE LAZY.
there's no such thing that things can work out without HARDWORD.
there's no such things as laziness in love.
NO WAY MAN.
if u think encouraging him/her to study and spacing time out for him/her once in a while is enough then u're so wrong.
humans need love and affections too.
we need ur love and we need ur care n concern and we need PROVE to know tt u love us.
the prove is all written in ur ACTIONS n WORDS.
it's just that simple.
other guys n gals can go it.
WHY CANT U?.
right?.
(:

end of theory.
fren ask me write what i think about love n wad hab i learned so far about it.
so yeah.
iie think that's about it.
maybe some cant recall yet.
hahas.

xoxo, Jasmine loves hiim

2008-09-28T00:24:00.002+08:00

aiis...
today is a sad n happy day...
infact, a hardworking DAY but a super happy n super sad NIGHT.

iie cried just now...
becoz of one simple reply.
it might seems like nth...
but sweety, u're nt the only one being hurt.
u're nt the onli one with injuries all over ur heart.
i have my own issues too...
regardless who's hurts is more pain n all...
it shouldnt matter...
what's important to me is that, love should be fair among the couple.

a mistake done is a mistake learn.
and i've learn n am trying to change for the better le...
sweety, please dun gib up on us.
unless u have no feelings for me any more.

aiis...
today afternoon, meet wee at 2.40+ then went to near school dehhx mac n meet CP n hd our brunch.
then xuelin turned up n we started studying all the way till 10pm plus.
Xuelin left at 7plus while CP left at 9plus.
Then Wee continue teaching me till 10plus.
after that he walk me home n we chat n played alot.
iie got home then saw hiim walk to the bus stop.
tried to gib him a surprise but failed...
and even worste, end up crying...

but guess i'm alright now.
i hab frens that cares about me.
i'm happy to hab them as gans n frens. (:

now blogging n am going to sleep le...
night.

[[_tears rolled down my face once more_]]

[[_loving someone is hardwork, but loving someone who don't love you hurts_]]

xoxo, Jasmine wished to be his PRINCESS; iloveyou.

2008-09-27T01:36:00.002+08:00

loving someone...
what does it takes to love someone?

the willingness to sacriifice for each other?
to love them n care for them?
to take them as who they are?
to understand them?
to be there for them?

how can u defined love as?
what is love?
what is love all about?...

iie dunno.
but it's addictive and painful...
sometimes, deadly.

i'm addicted to euu sweety,
i really am...
or was it all just my imagination?...

no one know when's it real n when's it not.
because sometimes our minds play trick at us.
and sometimes, even our hearts too.
and sometimes, our heart get tricked by our minds.
it's all so complicated.

wasn't it suppose to be a simple thing?
why has it become so complicated?

isn't loving someone simply means loving them n accepting them as who they are?
why is pain even involved?
isn't it just an extral?
or is god making a fool out of us?
enjoying show from up there?
making hi own drama series?...

today, went to school in the morning.
almost late, heng nv.
study n sleep in class...
damn tired n lonesome.
lols.

after school, went eat with gang n all.
stuffs happens n then iie went home at 3pm.
feel aslp.
then 5.30pm wake up.
prepare to go wedding dinner.

meet 3th aunt n took train down to AMK.
meet uncle simon n cousin n er jie.
then uncle simon drives us there.
eat alot n am very sleepy.
then after that uncle simon rive us home too.
got home, bath n put mask n all then online.
internet gt prob so ask er jie help me make.
then done le jiu online n chat wif wee.

haiis...
think totally gt nth to say.
keep asking crap question.
darn it, iie screwed up!
>.<

after that go blog the secret blog.
and now i'm blogging here.
gonna sleep le...

been habing headachs for days...
know tt its nt just any normal headachs.
becoz the pain feels so different.
either my brain is refunctioning or i'm just plain stress pain.
lols.

hao le, Wee asking me go sleep n he' sleeping too le.
chionging finish bloggin~~~
and now, i'm gonna sleep~!

*yawns*
nights guys.

xoxo, Jasmine wanna tell euu, iloveyou, Wee.

2008-09-23T23:59:00.003+08:00

today went to school.
study study n more study.
study till headach.
lols
coz been thinking of stuff too...

morning Wee msg me what he wanted to tell me...
aiis...
well...
iie hab no comment on this.

but i'll still continue to work hard.
either way, it'll affect me.
coz i just can fall out of love so easily...

aiis...
iie feel real down now.
not coz of the msg...
but smth else...

i hate being in love.

8 letters, 3 words, one meaning & deadly.

xoxo, Jasmine

2008-09-22T20:12:00.002+08:00

Cant believe iie realli study a lot today.
O.o

wake up,saw wee's msg, replied hiim n waited for the reply.
after that went online.
search for new blogskin.
changed n edited it.
and now, tada~!

saw the tag n all.
went explaining myself.
after that chris kor called.
ask me want go study tgt mahhs.
i hesitated.
n think think think.
i did promise Wee that i wont go out.
but i did promise hiimx that i will study too.
and iie ask kor, u realli go study?
then he say "ya, no matter what, i must study today. i dun care what, i will study today"
smth like tt.
so iie was like since he say till like tt, must as well go study tgt.
and so we meet up, had lunch n went to joe's house n study.
begaining, everyone keep playing, damn noisey, only me n chris kor studying.
after that slowly, it quiet down n chris fell aslp.
LOLS.
iie did chapters of 10 years series.
can say i'm atleast trying my best to concentrade n study.
hahas.

after that we went for dinner.
then eat half way, er jie n ma called me to go home as the dogs had came back from gromming and o one's home to open the bloody door.
so iie rush my food n took cab home.
came back, Dogs n Groomer went MIA.
so waited for the dog till going 9 le then they come.
after that juii nth le...

Wee said he wanted to tell me smth..
somehow, iie know its a bad news...
haiis...
heartaching le...
i'm scared n worry...
but its now or nv...
haiis.

[[_i'll take the pain_]]

xoxo, Jasmine fear of losing hiimx...

2008-09-22T11:02:00.002+08:00

iie gotta explain before ppl wu hui me coz of the tag.

that guy who tag me tt is a guy jio-ing me alright.
i'm sorry for nt getting it clear to hiim that i dun wan hiimx to call me that.
but iie just did by sms-ing hiimx.
iie already told hiimx i'm waitng for Wee.
but he just keeps hanging on.

yeap, tt's all.

and yeah, i've finally said it.
i'm waiting for Wee.
iie was hoping he would understand my intentions n feelings without having me to say.
and hopefully he did...
been waiting since 16 july.

and after so long of waiting, i'm happy n proud to say, i do love him.
and am finally able to put Hx aside in the past n a closed chapter le.
but...
iie somehow, know tt we will nt hab chance to be tgt any more.
iie can feel tt his feelings like fade for me le.
oh well, what can u expect after being hurt so much?...
it's okay...
if he's happy, iie should be happy for hiimx. (:
i know i'm trying my best le.
and so, i will shouldnt have any regret.
i know it sad n painful this way.
but its okays.
i'll take the pain.

xoxo, Jasmine love hiimx.
for real, i do.

2008-09-22T00:26:00.012+08:00

today woke up at 1 plus.
after that prepare till 3pm.
then me, ma n er jie went out to shopping.
5plus going 6 then er jie gotta leave for work le.
then we continue shopping till 9 plus at night.

i bought 2 dress, 2 tube top, one layer skirt, one bag, one shoe, 2 necklaces n a pair of earings.
oh oh, and some skin care products.
spent about 700 bucks including my mom's stuff n er jie's stuff.
mostly were spent on me though.
hahas.

Alot of things happen the past few days.
maybe i'll blog it tml after school.
because i'll be home for 2 weeks straight.
hahas.

Promised Wee that i'll chiong study from now on till N levels.
and i'll do it.
a promise is a promise.
and i know i have to work hard for my own future.
nt for others.
hahas.
but am doing both.
[x

will be attending school and night classes le.
iie know its such a last min thing.
but its better than nt trying at all.

wish me luck then.

sometimes i just dun understand u.
fuck, i hate it.
i hate you!
i know u hate me too.
and that's great!
i'm the curse of ur life n u're the curse of mine.
that's why we must nv be tgt.
but still, thanks you for all that u had done for me.
and sorry for causing so much trouble to you.
goodbye forever.

(:

All The Best To Everyone Who's Taking N levels Too.
GAMBATTE!

[[_missing you_]]
._i'm waiting for you_.

xoxo, sad jasmine's working hard.

2008-09-18T02:25:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JASMINE, MY FUTURE DAUGHTER IN LAW!!!
Ahhhhhh!
i just gt a daughter in law!
yeah!
i'm so happy!!!

ZhangYuan♥Jasmine.
Jasmine♥ZhangYuan.

WOOO HOOO!
Joe joe's happy for his own sister too. [:
Great~!

Sorry ppl,
iie know iie hab been changing my BlogSkin alot.
Coz i'm currently in love with many of them.
hahas.
Loves tha BlogSkins.
I dunno why iie change i into this blog skin.
Just loves the emonish feelings.
muahahas.
will change BlogSkin again soon...
(x

today, a siao gi na msg me say i msg hiim what prono thingy.
fuck his grandmother man.
call my hp, first word go "KaNiNa you send me msg blah blah blah"
he said i msg hiim "DARLIG, WANT TO SEE MY NAKED PHOTO?"
FUCK LAHHS.
i not that cheap okay.
u horny go geylang, dun come here play child game with me.
my sent msg totally dun hab this kind of msg lor.
he MUST have seen the wrong no then scold me.
FUCK HIS BLOODY GRANDMOTHER GRAVE.
scold my mother also lor.
iie talk to hiim then he like very big,scold scold scold, then gib kor hear then he like a dog.
begaining talk to hiim nicely he gan gan gan.
si eh du lan.

[[_you're my one&only_]]
._the only one wif the key to my heart is YOU_.

[[_i've done all i could_]]
._now everything's up to you_.

signing off - Jasmine.....

2008-09-16T19:32:00.010+08:00

okay...
maybe iie should really accept the fact that i'm offically single.
whatever iie do will never change that fact that i AM single.
iie gotta start from scratch again if iie wanna go into a relationship...
iie am now not loved or wanted by anyone [as in serious relationship].
iie just gotta be me and enjoy single life.
being with my GANS family would be just enough for me for now.
i'll just be waiting for my MR Right.
iie dun needa rush thing.
patient is the key.

i DON'T need anyone to live on.
iie live for myself n my future family.
iie only CHOOSE to need someone so badly that iie feel that iie wan the rest of my life to be filled with that person, tts why iie i'll said tt i'll nt be able to live without that someone.
that's actually what everyone's doing without noticing too.
hahas.

even though it felt damn emty right now inside my heart.
nt being love n nt able to love that someone special.
that place hab been left emty...
waiting the right prince to come n take over the thron n all...
hahas.

but before iie can say i'm single n available, there still some dumb hopes iie wanna gib myself.
so i'm still unavailable for now.
After my N levels then say bahhs.

i'll be waiting. (:

[[_InThatWay, iWouldntHurtThatMuchAnyMore_]]

TODAY IIE WENT SCHOOL!!!
WOO HOO!
lols.
if it wasn't for XiaoWen, iie wouldnt hab went to school.
promised her.
so could only drag myself out from bed this morning.
Been absent for a week now.
and Chris kor come fetch me to school.
iie HATE going anywhere alone.
its scary~
even walking to n from school is lonely...
hahas.

today in school, sleep + study.
self study...
accept for Miss Mo class.
She still teaches us.
woo hoo!
so i'll be going school every Tuesday n Thursday ONLY.
as there's Miss Mo's lesson.
hahas.

i'll be posting friday post later on.
so do scroll down n read if u are intersted.
(:

[[_SMILES_]]

The Story Of The Killer Tofu

One day, Tofu met a pretty gal and immediately fall in love with her.
He tried making a giant heart with candles to show the love he had for her.

He waited n waited but the gal dint show up.
Soon, the candles melted n what's left was only the waxs.
He was sad but he didnt wanna gib up so easily.

The next day, he told the gurl about what he did for her last night.
He even confess to the gurl.
But he got rejected in the face.
He was depress n realli sad.

He then went home crying...
His frens tried to cheer hiim up by asking hiim out one day.

Who knows he was so suay that he got attacked by an umbrella man.

He then went crazy, chasing the umbrella man away with a long bamboo.

But he was so upset that he went haywire n attacked everyone instead!

So...
BEWARE OF THE KILLER TOFU!!!.
xD

*This story is totally fictional.
*Tofu is Chris kor's little name.
(x

HOPE YOU ENJOY THEN STORY!

xoxo, Jasmine signing off with a SMILE! (:

2008-09-14T23:13:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEN [KOR KOR]!!!!
coz he older so ya, iie put kor kor there.
lols.

this reminds me of how iie become hao's mei.
iie called hiimx kor kor at first too.
because he's older than me.
but we eventurally became GANS.
hahas.

and....

HAPPY MOON CAKE FESTIVAL/ LANTAN FESTIVAL/ FULL MOON FETIVAL.
or whatever it is called.
iie had fun this year wif, Joel, Chris, Hx, Zhang Yuan n nick[chris's lit bro]
unlike last year, which is suppose to be an important day, yet we miss it.
it was becoz someone, iie forgot who, couldnt make it.
and it got canceled.
sad.
or was it some other reasons from the heart.
lols.
oh well~...

played with candles n sparkles.
hahas.
made the place ALL SMOKY.
lols.
iie made a heart with the candles too.

brought spagatti to eat with them for dinner.
chris kor [also known as tofu] brought marshmellow wif chocolate.
hx n zhang yuan brought snacks.
the other cant bring anything.

ate till very full.
then all went hyper.
dunno why.
lols.
damn funny lahhs.
iie was always the one who sat there n watch show.
weird for a gal to go crazy with a group of guys rights?.
hahas.

today tio burn by fire a lit.
joe tried to extiguse the fine by stomping on it real hard but the fire splater n flew to my leg.
gt burn a lit.
two hole.
iie shouted n sat on the ground.
joe joe, er zi n hx came rushing to me and ask me if i'm okay.
dunno why gt black sports on my leg then they help me scratch off while iie go "ouch, pain"
hahas.
Thanks ppl, for worrying bout me, specially er zi.
(:

joe joe tried opening a coke but dunno why very hard to open.
then he bang the bottle to the table n wall at the void deck but still can't open.
then he threw it real hard to the ground and the water went flying.
LOLS.
the cap crack n break n due to we shake it too much, the water went flying.
heng iie wasnt surrounding joe looking at hiim go crazy coz cant open the cap.
iie looked from afar.
plus, the wall was blocking part of me n the water flew over me!
LOLS.
the others didnt kana water as they squart down.
only nick kana.
DAMN funny.
iie saw the water fly n my eyes was like O.O WTF.

after that chris n joe gt show down.
one take umbralla, one take ppl's bamboo[the one use to hang the clothes to get it SUN.]
LOLS.
after that, hx n zhang yuan took the left over potatoe chip n ran towards them shouting "FOOD FIGHT!!"
n threw it at joe.
lols.
crazy ppl.

afte tt, everyone got engross with a little cat.
feeding it cutter fish n playing with it.
lol.
its a white cat, kinda skinny but can see its well taken care of.
it has brownish ears.
too bad, iie didnt take any pic of it.

after tt, we left the void deck n went to NorthPoint time zone.
played a while.
i'm a lousy gunner.
cant play house of the dead4 well.
scary can.

n HX own everyone at air hockey.
WTH lahhs.
he like smth againest me.
only me hor, he one hit goal.
WTH?!?!

after that everyone send me home.
and now i'm home.
n blogging. (:
gonna sleep soon.

This three days sure was fun.
I LOVE MY GAN FAMILY~!

haiis.
iie n wee teng they all like grew distance le.
lols.
iie dunno how to join in the conversation any more.
saiinz...
zhe mo ban???
will jia you bahhs.

TML iie going school.
think i'll be studying in a conner again in school.
lols.
isnt tt better?
iie cant study when i'm alone, bo mood.
lols.
but still must force myself to.
everyone keep saying about next year stuff to me.
some ask me join northland idol with them n all.
then iie keep saying: "ai ya, no more next year le lahhs. iie know my own standard, dun think iie can go in."
haiis.
wanted to go, but iie scared iie nt enough time to...
somemore iie always so playfull.
>.<

this year is the most valueable year in my life.
i've learn alot.
ALOT SAD n PAINFUL things happen.
but like iie always said, PAIN IS THERE FOR US TO LEARN, NOT THERE FOR US TO GIVE UP AND STOP TRYING.

yeap, n iie sure learn alot about life.
how realistic this life could be.
its nt all about FEELINGS or whats RIGHT or not or what u WANT to do.
but what u SHOULD n COULD do.

i'll try my best in every aspect of life.
and leaves the result to god.
whatever results he throws to me, i'll take it.
i'll accept it, n learn from it. (:

we are the controller of our OWN life.
NOT OTHERS.
we got the power to change our OWN life, our OWN futures.
NOT OTHERS.
we can only help others by giving them our own opinions.
but nt FORCING them to do anything we think its right.
it's THEIR life.
NOT OURS.
becoz we're frens, so we can only SURPPORT them in any choices n decisions they make.
and CATCH them when they fall.
That's What Frens Are For. (:
and this is how much we can ONLY do to help them.
This Is Life.

2008-09-12T21:55:00.000+08:00

Today didnt go to school.
Meet kor kor n joe after school at kor's house.
Daddy drive me there.

Went to safra n dance dance.
woot!
then dance half way suddenly a white shirt boii come n scold christ for staring at hiimx.
=="
so diao can.
he dance ofcoz we look lahhs...
whatever.

then he keep on wanna talk outside the arcad.
but we dun wan.
coz we know if we talk outside, they sure beat kor up for nth dehhx.
better safe than never.
then they talk 1 to 1 then suddenly the guy box kor kor.
i pulled kor kor shirt n ask hiim dun hit back.
then the guy walk back again then iie tell hiimx.
"the most i help hiimx say sorry."
then iie bow n said sorry.
then he walk away as his fren make werid werid patten.

after thast we were escort out from safra n went to kor kor's house.
then kor's mama is home.
then they quarrel quarrel.
then kor went crazy.
DAMN cute n funny.

aftr that we went dinner with kor's mom n di.
eat eat eat then after that, we went to safra again.
finish the last three coins.
after that as we were leaving, zhang yuan er zi msg me n ask me if wanna go safra n play a while first before going to the movies.
iie told him i'm already there n will be waiting for him n his pa.
waited n waited...

7pm plus, hx reach safra first.
then follow by er zi n lahvi.
went in the arcad n saw the same group of boiis again
kor went there n ask for the white shirt boii's name.
and then comes along a big big group of boiis.
all scold scold scold kor kor.
iie wasnt realli that worry for him though.
coz kor's back groud is scary.
no one had never notice it only.
hahas.

After that the security guard came in again n brought them out.
MINs later.
they came in like best fren like tt.
iie was super surprise but i'm damn happy for them.
after that, chris kor told me someone wants my number.
then iie was like O.o
who?
then he say dunno.
then iie say dun wan.
after that kor ask me go out the arcad a while as they wanna thank me or smth.
iie was like .... o.O
but went out any way.
the whole group of guys went out along n iie kinda forget wad happen.
but everything ended well.

after that, my GANS family all went crazy playing with the machine.
iie kept laughing.
damn hilarious.
so many pattens one.
hahas.

after that lahvi went home by cab while kor wnt joe house.
so er zi n hx n me send them to interchange n went to buy ticket.
asked for 4bia ticket n they even check ic twice.
then we bought pop corn n went in.
we sat there a while n the show stared.
it was about the show THE DAYS.
at first, we tot it was just the advertisment.
but after that, it lasted longer than usual.
so we were confused n took the ticket out n saw the ticket written "THE DAYS"
wtf!!!
we asked for 4 bia.
why did the old man gave us the days?
er zi n hx went EMO.
the ticket cost us $10
damn ex can.
they wanted to waste this 10 bucks to scared me dehhx.
but end up, they cant.
MUAHAHAHAS.

they did try to scare me alot of time, they failed.
but the last time iie screamed.
iie went "haha, u cant scared me de AHHHHH! COCKROACH!"
lols.
then they went emo.
they got own by a cockroach.
they cant scare me regrdless how many time they try.
but the cockroad only use one try to scared me.
lols.

then they send me home n iie got home n ZzZzZzZz...
Sleep.

xoxo, Jasmine

2008-09-11T23:37:00.002+08:00

haiis...
today feeling down...
i miss hiimx...
badly...

i've been telling myself...
"shuwei, u dun need anyone to live de, jia you."
"shuwei, single life also nt bad. dun think so much."
"shuwei, u're not missing hiimx, u're just bored."
"shuwei, he's just a fren"
"shuwei, he's just busy"
"shuwei, dun think so much, must stay jian qiang."
"shuwei, jia you~"

aiis...
very xing ku...
lying to myself is hard...

been habing headach at the right side of the back of my head these few day...
pain...
haiis...

ahhh~~~
hao xing ku...
missing someone out of ur reach is damn painful...
iie hate this kind of feeling.
haiis....

"shuwei, you musn't give up. Must stay jian qiang. JIA YOU~"
haiis...

Today nv go school.
damn sleepy.
school so noisy, how to study?...
afternoon meet jasmine for lunch n then meet joe n then went safra play.
after that, while they playing pool, iie do maths myself.
after they done playing pool, we went dance dance again.
after that juii went home le.
ate dinner, mommy cook.
yummy, bao bao le.
then use com n blog n chat.

habing heartach~
>.<

tml watching movie at night with baobiie er zi, zhangyuan & indirectly connected dehhx gan laogong.
haiis, sad that cant meet wee tml...
hope he hab fun tml on whatever he's doing. (:

as time passes, ppl enter n leaves ur live...
some leavin memory, while some left more than just a memory behind...

[[_baby, i'm missing you so much that it hurts._]]
[[_iie know n understand clearly that u're out of my reach, but why am iie still staying here?_]]

xoxo, Jasmine is dying.

2008-09-09T00:30:00.003+08:00

7 sept 2oo8

sunday.
damn bored.
morning wake up quite early.
7am plus.
dunno why.
then msg WEE.
and went back to slp.
lols.
then 10am plus woke up again.

then watch naruto.
dunno why.
lols.
time seems to pass slower when i'm alone.
iie no longer play online games n all le.
use com only go frenster, blogger, photobucket or anime-media.
nth else.
so ya, kinda siian..

after that, bath n all n went to joe joe house watch tv n ate my lunch with Jasmine n joe.
joe tried DLing warcraft fer me but kinda failed.
hahas.
PEPSI DAMN KAWAII NEHHX!!!

after that juii watch KING KONG!
iie cried.
the king kong fighting with the big big dai-na-sor [dunno how to spell] dehhx shi hou, iie was like ahhh! nooo~~ pain!!! ouch ouch ouch ocuh!. xD
mama call me siao.
ppl who were on the phone with me almost went deaf.
xD

the king kong so sad.
just to get the one he love n protect the one he loved, he did lots of stuff.
very gan dong~
T-T *watery eyes*
jia you, KING KONG, in ur next life.
you can do it dehhx~~

8 sept 2oo8

today didn't go school.
over slept.
sorry...

afternoon, joe joe n chris kor ask me wan go watch movie mahhs?
then iie chiong prepare le but still late for da movie.
then end up go safra dance dance para para.
after that, went eat n went joe joe house study maths.
but both bo xim learn n teach.
so suan lor.

after that juii go chat with jasmine n joe n played LEGO!!!
my childhood toy~
hahas.
then after that juii went home le.

LOOKING FORWRD TO TML!!!
(x

*blury effect was auto on its own dehhx.
*no edition did to my face
*only soft effect on photo 1 (:

[[_baby, iie know u're in pain..._]]
._i'm sorry_.
[[_i'm hurting too_]]

[[_iie understand why its hurting n how's its hurting, but baby, no one taught me how to heal_]]
._i'll try my best_.

[[_baby,iie wanna heal ur broken wings, so that you could fly again_]]
._even if no one heal's mine_.

[[_you're impossible to find_]]
(:

xoxo, Jasmine missing hiimx.

2008-09-06T22:16:00.005+08:00

just blogged my new blog.
anyone who's intrested can go read.
i've long post the website in my blog.
i posted it here sice iie frist created that blog.
hahas.
go ahead.
search for it. (:
it u're intrested in it that is...

today mornign woke up at 8am plus.
chiong prepare n meet joe joe n ja under my blk.
after that, walk to swimming complexe n went swimming~
yay.
just me, joel n jasmine.
lols.

after that bath n went to mac, eat n talk.
then meet hx, jw at 1pm at katib basketball court.
waited for chris.
then he come le juii play team lor.
siian.
lost again
oh well, Good game though.
it's fun.
and that's what matter the most. (:

after that we went safra.
DANCE DANCE the para para dehhx.
damn nice.
feel like playing it wif someone special.
LOLS
xD

after that juii go joe joe house wif chris.
then all bath n change n take things then me n kor went back my house.
forgot my keys again.
then ring the door bell damn lone then da jie come open door for me.
=="
took my stuff n all n make up for chris kor.
styled his hair for hiimx too. (:
EMO again.
xD

[[_baby, i'll do anything to get you out of my head, but its just makes me miss you more..._]]
[[_baby, i understand, iie truely do._]]

xoxo, Jasmine misses hiimx...

2008-09-05T23:59:00.002+08:00

iie tot alot about it le...
me and hx...
dun think we could ever be tgt again.

heard two diff stories from diff ppl...
=="

even though there's two story, one from Hx n one from my fren.
but its okay.
i'll believe both. (:

because the stories wont make any different to me any more.

iie cant find the love iie had for hx in hiimx any more..
iie dunno why.
things seems different.
like iie facing another man that is almost like hx but nt hx.
things dont seems like the same any more.
he's no longer seems like the same TO ME any more.
haiis.
oh well...

lets nt talk about this le.

haiis...
feel like iie hab no rights to talk anything about relationship now.
feel like iie dun deserve love or being love at all.
feel like i'll just make another mistake to hurt someone.
feel like, wo bu pei to be loved...
lols.
aiis...
sad...

confident level of certain stuff become damn low sial...
haiis...

cannot cannot!
iie musn't be like this.
if not i'll end up being the one suffering more too.
gotta hab more confident.
i'll never know untill iie TRY~! (:

aiis.
will GAMBATTE YO.

xoxo, Jasmine

2008-09-04T23:37:00.006+08:00

Today got my N levels ENGLISH.
Couldn't concentrate at all.
my eye lids feels heavy n my brain going on sleeping mood.
damn tired.
last night Hx msg miie 11 plus in the night.
the ring tone of my HP woke me up.
he asked how's my ss paper.
then iie reply hiimx.
then dunno how we talk till about us...
that keeps miie thinking the whole night.
so iie couldnt sleep.

so 5.30am went to prepare for school.
meet xiao wen at mac n went to school tgt.

paper was suppose to be easy.
but becoz of my sleepiness.
iie couldn't concentrade n made it seems hard.

After my paper, waited for joe for his band to end.
saw hx, he was waiting for jia wei.
so help him go in the school to tell jia wei, hx waliting for hiimx.
after that, waited for jia wei wif him.
chat abit, like frens.
when jia wei come le then iie go off n find joe joe.

after joe joe band, he pei miie go home bath n change n come out again.
dress emo today.
damn nice.
wahahas.

meet chris kor at NP n then went to joe house.
played true or dare n the first round kana chris kor.
the dare was to mke hiim look emo with my makeup.
iie bring my make up everywhere i go.
xD

so the mission of making hiimx emo started.
and it last all the way from 5 plus to 7pm plus.
the result was.
DAMN EMO.

lols.
iie drew stars at the sie of the right eyes.
i personally like it alot.
while jasmine drew the other side.
looks... demonic?...
xD

After that we went out for dinner.
everyone was staring at hiimx.
xD
went arcad n dance the machine thingy.
alot pai kia was there.
then alot ppl keep shouting
si bei emo sial.
lols!

after that, went home n wash my make up of.
n sleep!

actually before going out, iie made my hair puff up till very cool.
my hair is oily type.
so end of the day, it flatten down.
xD
should hab put more spray to make it stay.
>.< P.S: original posting date, 5th sept.

xoxo, Jasmine LOVES You

2008-09-02T23:53:00.003+08:00

i'm in pain.
iie fell again...
looks like i've never learned my lesson...
always gibing so much hopes for myself...
dumb right?...

why didnt euu told me properly from the start.
wht was the kiss for then?...
its a lie too?...
its just for the sake of my study?
not me?...

what for.
iie said before...
if u're being nice just for my studies, thn forget about it.
it doesnt matter.
there's no longer a reason for me any more..
iie dun nid those kindness n pitiness...
its a all a lie anyway.
i dun need it.

maybe its just me.
being dumb.
like i said.
iie am dumb.
guess this is what i deserve for being dumb.
this is what i deserve.
my decision created pain for ppl.
now i'm getting what i deserved back.
retribution.
i'll accept my fate.
i'll accept the pain.

its alright...
this pain will never last for a life time.
so its okay
i'll remember the pain n the mistakes and what i've learn.
i'll take all tht life has for me and walk on.

iie dun need help.
iie dun need fake hopes n dreams.
iie dun need them.
iie dun need a fairytale...
iie dun need happiness.
iie just need to accept what life gives me.
i'll give n take.
that's what's life all about...

Today had my chinese N level paper.

THANKS BAOBIIE ER ZI ZHANG YUAN A MILLION.
for lending me ur chinese dictionry so early in the morning.
sorry for bothering euu so much today.
thanks again! (:

didnt manage to finish my compo.
finished my letter writting completely.
first time see the paper no holes.
coz iie filled up ll the words iie dunno but flipping through the dictioary.

thank HX for wishing me gd luck so early in the morning.

after both papers, went eat ban mian.
after that walk everyone to NP n mrt then we parted n pat walked me home n then he went home.

Got home, fell aslp n then wake up around 7plus.
Jasmine called me.
so iie tio shock n woke up.
hahas.
after that go bath n watch tv and studies...

i've tot about it, positively.
iie realli should move on.
no one need someone to live on.
we live for ourself & the ppl who are important to us.
We dun leave the ppl who are important to us.
We let them leave us.
We dun die when they leave us, we learn.
but no matter what, the memories stays and we'll remember them.
becoz they're once important to us.
they ARE part of ur life n will always be.
becoz they created part of it.

dun lack behind.
move on and walk on.
ppl may be there for you, but they have their own life too.
the life is ours alone, we dun create them.
we change them and share them.
that's what makes life beautiful. (:

dun let saddness drag us behind.
look at what you have now.
look at what you dun hab now.
look at what you wanna achive now.
look at what u truely need now.
make possible goals and strive them patiently.

LET'S JIA YOU TGT!
(:

xoxo, Jasmine loves YOU!

2008-09-02T00:10:00.003+08:00

Today didnt manage to wake up for SS remedial...
sorry...
shall not explain myself any further.
its i'm nt responsible enough...
sorry...
>.<

THANKS XIAOWEN A TON.
thanks for helping me to take the SS papers.
hontoni arigato. (:

meet up with ahPOH, XiaoWen n payt today.
xiaowen pass me the SS paper then we go LJS eat a lit.
acturally wanna watch 4bia.
but xiaowen underage.
sorry tt iie cant help much guys...
>.<

after that, iie went down to temp n meet wee.
pei him go eat then he pei me study SS.
he help me stuff 4 pages of SS thingy into my brain.
WOW!
power man.
but head did hurt alot just now.
too long never study iie think...
but after a while juii no more le.
(:

baby, euu make my heart skip a beat. <3
>you make me smile n cry.

around 6 then he left for city hall
so iie walk to take bus while he walk to take mrt.
very sher bu dehhx though...
then took bus back yishun lurhhx..

after that, meet chris, joe, nick and jasmine.
went to safra play a while then go eat then go chris house.
end up never study.
coz kor say he damn tired to help me study.
so iie just follow the majority.
play.
xD

played true or dare at chris house.
iie choose true and jas asked me, " if wee n hx come ask my for stead at the same time, who will i choose?"
without a second thought.
iie said...
heh heh heh,
iie said...
....
"WEE!"
they asked me why and iie told them...
wanna know what i told them?
dun tell euu lehhx.
xD
come n ask me lahhs.
muahahahas.

the joe choose dare so iie drew his bidy with maker.
then jasmine choose dare so iie make up for her.
nice okays.
xD

after that, joe dad n mom n doggy came n fetch us.
they send my home.
THANKS ALOT! (:

then gt home, watch tv n bath.
now blogging.

aiis...
wee seems different...
somehow...
i dunno...
the hearts tell me its different...
maybe iie also seems diff...
i'm sorry if i'm not being myself...
guess we just need time. (:

i'm sleepy le...
wanna slp...
tml chinese paper.
i'm so gonna die...
sobs....

miss euu...

[[_i wanna be love n needed by euu too_]]

xoxo, Jasmine

2008-08-31T22:33:00.002+08:00

sorry for not blogging for a few days now.

i'm in contact with Wee aot now.
DAMN happy can?...
i'm so glad he decided to give us another chance...
i'll gib all i can to love hiim.
i've set my goal.
"To try my best till 1st NOV 2oo8."
if nth improves...
i'll quit...
i'll not bother euu any more...
but untill then...
i'll try my best.

Friday

Today ahPOH's birthday.
didnt went school.
iie msg WeeTeng and she didn't reply.
iie tot she was sleeping so therefore = to one go to school.
so iie went back to sleep.
untill she finally reply me around 7am plus...
but its too late le...
i'll be late for school.
therefore iie replied her tt iie would go to school nd explained myself.
and went back to sleep.
woke up at 10am and prepared.
meet pohli, pat, wenqiang at 12 plus.
then styled the guys hair and went to yishun mrt station.
met up with WeeTeng n Xiaowen.
Then see john wear formal, comming up the exculator.
DAMN COOL & SHUAII.
hahas.

took MRT and went to cityhall.
the sakae sushi buffet starts at 3pm.
we're early by half an hour.
so we went walk walk around untill times up.

we were the first goup to enter for sakae sushi.
damn nice!
iie ate till iie could nt stand straight and walk.
iie gotta hunch a little.
if not i'll feel like vomitting...
>.<
too filled.
ate 3 cha soba, 3 sakae chawamushi and alot other sushi
damn yummy.
that say complain next time dun wan eat this any more.
everytime eat untill lyk that.
but now think think...
IIE WANNA EAT SAKAE SUSHI BUFFEET AGAIN NEXT TIME!
hahas

after that we walk to marina there.
sat by the see, took pictures and talk.

WenQiang talk to me till iie cry.
he keep saying how bad iie am.
how much iie did nt try to be nice.
how lousy a person iie am...
haiis...

I TRIED MY BEST IN LIFE ALREADY ALRIGHTS.
i'm sorry for being lousy.
i'm sorry for being dumb.
i'm sorry for being bad.
i'm sorry alrights...
but iie know clearly, iie did my best to think of everyone.
iie tried my best to do things for ppl sake.
iie tried my best to make everyone around me happy.
sorry for not giving euu enough of what iie got.
i know i'm lousy at it..
but......
i've tried...
what else u wanna ask for?
i gave everything i got.
and its still not enough?...
i gave so much that it hurts...
sobs......

maybe i should stop thinking for myself.
iie should stop caring about my own feelings.
iie should just concentrade of other ppl feelings.
would that be enough now?....

it realli hurt damn much when he said that iie didnt care for others n all....
haiis...
it hurts...
it freaking hurts...
i hate hiimx the most.
I REALLI HATE HIM THE MOST!
he's damn bias...
SUPER BIAS!!!
hate hiimx...

after that my makeup run as iie cried.
iie did try my best to hold back my tears le...
sorry that iie didn't succes.

after that iie go toilet, wash face and remakeup.
after that go back n then we took lift up to the roof.
look at the sea view...
and it was beautiful.
iie wanna bring the one i love there.

either to that place or vivo there.
DAMN NICE!
think vivo's roof better.
BIGGER, QUIETER, DARKER, WINDIER much more ROMANTIC.
lols.

then took photos n all.
after that we went lots of place trying to buy 4bia dehhx ticket.
everyone's 16 le, accept for xiao wen...
wow, she's the youngest in our group.

even meet Miss Siva, our CHEM teacher and asked her for help.
But too bad,
ticket sold out...
sad.

so end up we went back PlazaSing n watch Wall-E.
DAMN cute.
love it!
"walll eeee" , "eeavaaa.", "dicrective"
lols.
kawaii desu nehhx.

after that juii go home le lurhhx.
then pat keep emo.
dunno for what fuck.
damn du lan.
iie rather iie talk to wall then talk to hiimx.

got home, got scolding but iie go hong mama.
then she okay le then iie go bath n all n slept
(=

any way, iie created a new blog.
hehe.
a secret blog.
its for someone dehhx.
hahas.
HaoKor's the only one who knows the link.
why?
iie dunno...
he's someone who i realli look up to for advice.
my brain is written: "he's a very nice person n a great kor."
hahas. ^-^

i'll end here.

2008-08-27T23:35:00.003+08:00

Today is suppose to be a happy day.
Why am iie feeling kinda depress now?...
haiis...
Jai you~ iie gotta stay happi n positive...

N levels, N levels , N levels...
iie hate it. suddenly hate it.
Dun use this to push me down, control me or treaten me n all.
i hate it.
i'm losing confident...

Hate being force to do smth.
Dun force me to do anything!

All this mixed up feelings make miie hungry.
Am feeling happy yet sad, angry yet in pain and depress + stress + disappointed + lost of hope.
So fuck up can.

I hate disappointing ppl.
but iie know i'll disappoint lots n lots of ppl this time round.
I'm very sure that with the standart iie am in, i will not be able to go up sec5.
Even if i do, i will suffer.
Because i'm the one studying now so iie know.
I'll try my best alright.
But its not a promise that i'll go up sec5.

Feel like crying now.
But iie mustn't.
No one will be there for me even if iie cry.
No point crying also.
Nth will change.
I kinda understands what's going on.
iie always refuse to accept the fact that it's all gone.
Always lying to myself that iie just gotta try harder, there's still hope.
FUCK YOU SHUWEI!
THERE'S FUCKING NO HOPE.
STOP IT ALREADY!

I must stay jian qiang...

i should hab gib up everything and move on.
EVERYTHING!.
I'm fine with my life now anyway.
Even though smth feels like its missing...
but...
realli....
maybe its realli time for me to let go and move on.

DARN IT TEARS.
STOP TRYING TO COME OUT OF MY EYES.
SUPER XING KU.
HARD TO CONTROL...

What is love?

Love means loving someone with ur whole heart.
Even though he/she might break ur heart one day, u just gotta believe its nt today.

Love means regardless how much he/she hates you.
You just gotta remember that, you loved her.

Love means giving them the chance to break ur heart again and again and trusting them it won't happen the next time.

When love leaves you.
You dun leave love.
You open the door and let them be free.
When love comes back.
You dun push them away.
You open the door again to let them in.
As long as you love him/her, nth is impossible.

Love is DRAMATIC, SAD and TRAGICAL.
But no matter how pain it is, it's still beautiful.
Because you're in love.

Love means...
Understanding when its time to let go and when its time to grab hold.

Love doesn't work with one hand.
It takes two hands to clap.

Be true to love.
Love only when u're in love.
Stop when u're not.
Dun break hearts like how ur ex breaks ur's.

Dun give hopes.
Be straight forward.

Pain is there for us to learn,
Not there for us to stop trying.

WTF is love?!?! xD

[[_AiBuXuYaoTiaoJian_]]

xoxo, Jasmine <3

2008-08-26T20:41:00.006+08:00

ANYONE WHO VISITED MY BLOG, PLEASE DO LEAVE A TAG!
EVEN A "HI" OR "TAGGED" WILL DO TOO~
ATLEAST LET ME KNOW U'VE CAME.
I'LL BE REALLI HAPPY.
THANKS!

*no spamming.
*no scolding.
*no insulting.
*no vulgarities.
*no pigs allow too! xD

Thank You for ur cooperation.

Sorry for nt blogging everyday.

Today went to school.
Had Maths paper1.
Dun think can pass but at least i can do quite alot.

FLUNK MY BEST SUBJECT.
GEO!
15 pages.
done 3 page only.
The rest, ALL BLANK.
what's wrong with miie today?...
Miss Moh is so gonna kill me...
=="

after school, went home and bath n all.
Meet chris kor then went to Dover to find Carabelle mei.
She's the only one iie realli accepts as mei.
I'm still trying to accept the others.
iie need the feel, euu know.
xD

Love my bao bei Carabelle mei lots lots. (=

After that chat with her a lit n then she gotta go off.
So went back yishun with kor.
Ate yong tao fu and then went home.

Now blogging.

Today kor did ask miie one question.
He say "which part of ur life did u felt the most happiest?"
iie think think think...
and guess what?...
my answer was...
my answer was...
very cute one huh.
it was....
when i'm with Wee. (=

Surprised?
Don't be.
It's a fact in my life n in my head n heart.
so yup.

It's paiful to be with HongXian.
Dun ask me why.
iie dunno.
Maybe coz he can control my mood damn easily.
and somehow he didn't realise it.
Oh well.

iie remember asking kor what's the feeling of being in love last time.
He said the hearts feels warm warm dehhx.
And iie shook my heart n said "realli?... somehow i dun feel it..."
it just getting colder n colder somehow...
Then Hx was there too that time.
He said "where gt, iie still do feel it."
as he said, he touched his heart/chest and flash me a smile.
That time was damn happy.
But guess it was a lie after all...
Or maybe, its just temporary...

But oh well, it's over.
I dun care about it any more...
It doesn't matter to me any more...

Tml i'm having Chem and FnN.
Last papers!
Shall go study later.
Dun wanna flunk it any more.

Tml after school, meeting kyran to go study.
Heard that he has about 24sets of maths paper given by his teacher.
My head gonna go boom!...
xD

Then Thursday meeting joe, they all to go somewhere.
Forgotten where le.

Then Friday is my school's cross country day and teacher's day n acer day.
school will end at 11.30am.
Then we'll go home change n make up n hit the town to celebrate AhPoh's birthday.
Gonna eat sakae sushi buffet n go walk walk. (=
WeeTeng, XiaoWen, AhPoh, Patrick, WenQiang, AhJohn, LiYing, PohLing n ME are all going.
Dunno still gt anymore ppl coming nt.
Like i say, the more the better. (x

Changed my blog n friendster song le.
Go check it out n enjoy.
Wait a while for it to load alrights. (=

Wonder how's WEE.
Hope he's doing well with his exams n all.
Jai You!
Fighto!
(=

Today msged hiimx.
Hesitated in including "i misses you." in the sms.
Somehow...
am afraid that...
it'll sound fake to hiimx...
I send hiim those words anyway.
Leaving the results to god.
Knew he wouldn't reply my msg.
Wasn't expecting one either.
didn't know since when did iie stop hopping so much.

YTD sent hiimx a commen in friendstr too. (=

[[_imissesyou_]]
[[_ThinkingOfYouMakesMyHeartFeelsWarm_]]

and that's truely true. (=

i'll end here for today.
Dun miss miie too much guys~

xoxo, Jasmine <3

BRIAN McKight - I Believe Lyrics [Blog's]

Some people think they've seen it
But once they get in between it
They find out that it's not the way they hoped and they prayed it would be
The stories are so dramatic
The endings are sad and tragic
You find yourself so far away, a distance that love could not reach

[bridge:]
It's easy to find a someone, a mister or miss for right now
Promise you'll never leave someone you can't leave without

[Chorus:]
Baby I believe it's you
I don't care what other people say or do
It only matters what we have is true and I believe it's you
Oh baby I believe...

Some people say they have it
Only to find what they have is habit
Like waking from a dream and every cliché is true
Is it better to love somebody and lose?
Then never to love somebody who
Doesn't feel like you do, fairy tails don't always come true

[bridge:]
It's easy to find someone, a mister or miss for right now
Promise you'll never leave someone you can't leave without

[Chorus:]
Baby I believe it's you
I don't care what other people say or do
It only matters what we have is true and I believe it's you
Oh baby I believe...

How did you think I found love
I wasn't sure 'till right now
I wasn't loud enough 'till you... 'till you

[Chorus:]
Baby I believe it's you
I don't care what other people say or do
It only matters what we have is true and I believe it's you
Oh baby I believe it's you
Baby I believe... it's you

INA - FALL LYRIC [FRIENDSTER]

I gave you all you desired
All that you needed
Boy, I provided
I let you into my head
Into my bed
And that’s a privilege
I had your back at the answers
You took the dollars
I took the chances
Defended, battled and fought
Cuz I thought you really loved me
I don’t know where to start or where to stop
No, but I know I am done
I’ve had enough

So fall out of my hands
Out of my heart
And when you hit the ground
You’ll be sorry that I’m not around
I will watch you
And you fall out of your mind
Out of your fantasy
When you hit the wall
Think of me
I’ll be on the top just watching you fall

You said that you were the strong one
I was the girl
And I was the young one
I kept your feet on the ground
My head in the rounds I had you
You told me you were so grateful
I was with you
And I was so faithful
Stood by in all that you said
And all that you did
I loved you
I don’t know how to act or what to say
But I know I am good
I’ll be okay

And you fall out of my hands
Out of my heart
And when you hit the ground
You’ll be sorry that I’m not around
I will watch you
And you fall out of your mind
Out of your fantasy
When you hit the wall
Think of me
I’ll be on the top just watching you fall
I’ll be on the top just watching you fall

So fall out of my hands
Out of my heart
And when you hit the ground
You’ll be sorry that I’m not around
I will watch you
And you fall out of your mind
Out of your fantasy
When you hit the wall
Think of me
I’ll be on the top just watching you fall
I’ll be on the top just watching you fall

so unfair

2008-08-23T23:59:00.000+08:00

elloz da jia.

Today morning went to gym.
Siian.
meet Hx first as other was late.
Waited for CP then we took buy down to Kathib stadium.
Waited for a while then Joe joe came with hr sis Jasmine.
Then waited damn long for Mr Tofu kor.

end up we went in first.
Then after our gym then he reach.
damn zun though.

Then went to New yoke pizza eat the buger pizza.
SUPER DUPER HARD CAN?!?!
THE FORK CAN'T EVEN POKE THROUGH IT LEHHX
SERIOUS!
IIE BITE TILL TEETH GONNA DROP OUT LE.
>.<

After that went buy drink then go play basketball.
DAMN FUN.
3 guys vs 3 gals.
but still we lost.
maybe i'm just lousy.
>.<

After that went to mac.
Cool ourselves down.
after CP left, iie went crazy.
all hyper n MAD.
lolx.
kor even took video of me being crazy.
xD

After that went home
Jasmine1 n joe came to my house to see dog.
hahas.
then they left le iie go prepare to go church.

meet kor n took bus 171 to church.
Watch the movie with winni n kor n everyone in Church, in church.
xD
The show damn nice.

after the show, carabelle cried and said she miss her mother.
so iie huged her n all.
Hoping she would feel better.
Because there was nth else i could do.
after that one of the staff came out n ask her "what's ur problem?"
then ask her go out of the room n talk.
She talk like one fucking bitch lor.
Ppl cry coz miss their mother also wrong.
fuk.
Then iie say her lor.
ppl miss their mother also wrong izzit?.
n all.

then kor n winni pull me away.
then kay lor.
iie stop lurhhx.
then iie damn angry can
it's so fucking unfair.
Ppl cry also wrong.
Church is somewhere where ppl can go to when they hab problems n needa seeks help from god and clam their mind n pray to good, worship god, thanks god n all.
Why is SUCH a BITCH doing there?...
fat n black n i dun like her face + butt!.

Forget it lor.
then iie also cried.
thinking about the unfairness.
Their life is already damn terrible with family probs n all n this kind of ppl exist in the HOMES to make their life worst?.
Aren't hostel somewhere for ppl to stay guaii n out of trouble only?
Is crying silently call dramatic?
Is crying wrong?
Is crying a crime?
This is so unfair!
She's just 13!
She's in children home because she has been abuse and need help n love n care!
But why is ALL the stuff there so FUCKING IDIOT?.
all indians n Tamils.
I AM RACE-SIS!
BUT I HATE THIS KIND OF BITCHES THAT THINKS THEY ARE STAFF AND HAVE THE RIGHTS TO CONTROL THEM SO THEY ARE BIG, THEY CAN TREAT THEM AS SLAVE, THEY CAN SCOLD THEM, THEY CAN DO WHATEVER THEY WANT AND DUN NEED TO TREAT THEM AS HUMANS.
THEY ARE HUMANS TOO OKAYS.
INFACT, THEY ARE JUST CHILDRENS N TEENAGES THAT NEEDED HELP.
THEY NEEDED CARE.
THEY NEEDED CONCERN.
THEY NEEDED LOVE.
THEY NEEDED SOMEONE TO GUIDE THEM THROUGH THEIR LIVES.
THEY ARE NOT YOUR DOGS!
EVEN DOGS HAVE FEELINGS OKAY?!?!

haiis.
sad lahhs.
iie know this post is messy.
But iie am damn piss n damn sad about the Unfairness in life.
Why is it that the ppl who doesn't deserve this treatment get this kind of torture while those who deserve it dun get punish?....
What actually is god planning?.
Is he letting those those ppl to know the pain n sufferings so that they'll grow up to be a better person?...
Is this the way he guide them?
iie do wonder...

Last night, chat with joe n chris on the phone.
joe n chris told me smth damn funny.
and iie went all crazy.
how fun. (=

[[_iHateBlackBitches_]]

[[_iHateLiars_]]
[[_iHateTheScarOnMyHand_]]
[[_ButILoveTheWayItRemindMeOfPain_]]

[[_TiredOfAllYourFunnyActs_]]
[[_TiredOfAllYourLies_]]
[[_iHateYou_]]

[[_imissyou_]]
wu[ya]er[zi][jiao[ling]

Firstly, he's nt my boyfren.
He's my 4years dehhx kor. (=

i wanna take this kind of sweet sweet photo with euu too Wee.

2008-08-22T00:41:00.002+08:00

Today went to school.
Took cab down to school again.

Had my english paper today.
Composition iie wrote about Happiness.
But iie think iie totally BOOM it.
>.<
god damit.

Paper two was rather easy iie think.
Just that thoughts of someone keep making my mind fly off.
You know who you are~ (=

Then after school walk in the rain tgt n went to the bus stop outside NP dehh to take bus 169 to go AMK hub.
Reach le juii go buy mam mam eat.
Bought cheesy hot dog eat.
YUMMY.

Then after that go walk walk outside AMK hub.
Then bought smth from Old chang kee an eat.
Then walk walk around AMK again n then took bus 169 back yuishun again.

Got home around 4 plus.
And BOOM fall aslp again.
8 plus woke up n ate dinner then study n edit some photos n all till now.

Shouldn't have fallen aslp so soon when i got back.
Woke up then realise Wee was online in the afternoon.
But iie wok up too late.
x(

YTD play webcam with Wee.
Was realli realli happy.
He's dmn cute can.
Even thought i only i on webcam and he didn't.
But the way he talk is just plain cute.
Love hiimx lots lots. <3

everytime iie say wanna gib up then things happen to make miie dun bare to lose hiim again...
>.<
WTH...
haiis...
hope iie won't build more pai fer hiim...

[[_i wanna scream it all out for love_]]

xoxo, Jasmine

2008-08-20T00:24:00.003+08:00

Today is like studying day...
Studied the whole day.
Aftr school eat BanMian n went to LJS to study n eat again.
xD
6.30 plus wet walk at NP.

7plus went home.
Sleep.
zzzzzzzzz.........

10plus wake up.
bath, n now blog.

Last two days iie was realli in mood swing lahhs...
even now also.
Wee gt scared by me
xD

haiis...
sorry....
iie know iie have no rights to say i love you now.
Damn stupid rights.

Maybe iie should just leave it as it is...
you'll be way happier without me rights?...
actually iie know it makes no different whether i'm in ur life or nt.
it doesn't matter any more.
You've been living ur years without me, things just gotta go back to how it is.
Isn't that better?
U can improve ur life urself.
And seems like u're doing it.
You seems happier. (=

Give u n the other gurls that like u a chance.
Ai cannot mian qiang but can pei yang.
Give it time.
If really cannot work out then forget it.
But u'll never know until u try.
Dun be afraid to be hurt or hurt them.
At least it's nt as much mistakes as i do can le.
Know what u're doing.
Pain are there for us to learn but nt there for us to stop trying. (=
You never know u'll lose a chance in getting smth better.
Don't let the pass hold you back.
What's important is what's in front of u right now.
Grab the chance while you still hab it. ^-^

i knew it all along iie shouldn't hab come into ur life.
now it's too late to regret getting u involve in such great stage of my maturity.
i've learned alot since then.
Thanks for helping miie to learn how to love n who to love.

i'm sorry...
iie always wanted to be able to heal you the most.
But looks like i'm that dumb.
i failed n even created much much more pain...
dui bu qi...

this realli hab to stop soon i guess...
life goes on...

`✖ ` The Scar That's Left On My Arm Always Reminds Me Of What LOVE Had TAUGHT Me...
iie wanna always be reminded how painful LOVE could be.

[[_Chocolate Marshmellow_]]

2008-08-17T22:26:00.002+08:00

Today morning wake up, meet Chris kor under my blk to go Church.
Tody the church is for adults one.
So it's kinda sleepy listening to it.

anyway, made more new frens today.(=
yay!
lols

After church, went back yishun to eat BK.
After BK, went home.
Got home, and continue msg Hx.

This morning, he started msg miie saying if iie hate hiimx, he dun mind letting miie scold.
So we kinda started msg all those troublesome things n all.
But iie didn't reply hiim whn i'm in church.
i onli replied hiimx when i got home.
and then we kinda msg till iie felt giddy n headach n told hiimx iie needa rest.
let's nt talk about this any more, it's meaningless now n all.

Slept from 3pm all the way to 7.30pm.
Then msg chris n hx that iie wake up le.
as chris did call miie when iie was sleeping.

After that, chat with hx online in msn.
Kinda came down with the conclusion that we shall onli be frens.

Oh well...

Sorry, but iie dun believe euu still love me.
Now all the evidence i hab can onli convince me that u love XueYan more than anything in the world.
It has became a fact to me le.
Sorry, i can no longer believe euu like how i used to.
All the best for euu n XueYan, ur XiaoZhuZhu...

Wee~
How hab euu been.
Jai you in ur exams wor.
TakeCare of ur body too.
Dun fall sick wor. (=
Gambatte!

xoxo, Jasmine.

2008-08-16T23:15:00.002+08:00

Today morning, meet Joel, Jasmine[joel's sis] and Chris at 11pm at Northpoint OCBC bank there.
Took bus down to Yishun Stadium n went into the gym.
Use the cycling stuff first then to the trackmill.
Then went to buy water n came back n try out almost everything.
We gals left the Weight lifting stuf all to the guys.
Other than that, we tried out almost everything.
Shiock.
Wonder tml will hab musscle ach nt.

We work out till 2pm n went to Kathib Mac n eat.
While chating, we laught alot n then iie laught laught laught till poke tio the straw with my nose.
Then my nose gt cut n it bleed.
>.<
SUPRE DUMB CAN.
But pain pain lor...

After that Daniel called miie n ask miie if iie wanna join him n his fren watch the hiphop simi-final de competition concert.
It's free admission.
But iie promised Chris to go church with hiimx.
So iie thought about it for quite some time and rejected his offer...
Sorry again......
>.<

Therefore, iie went home n bath n prepare n meet Chris at 6pm.
Took 171 to the church.
The ppl there were all SUPER FRENLY!
That's what iie like about Christians. (=

After that, kor send me home n i bath n use com.
Then joe ask if iie wanna conference with hiim, hx n chis not.
At first i dun want dehhx.
But i end up calling in anyway.
But iie ask Joel nt to tell anyone iie am on the phone.
So as i hear them talk, i cover the talking hole n as hx talk, iie keep scolding back even though he can't hear it...
xD

BUT END UP.
I DIDN'T KNOW HE COULD ACTUALLY HEAR ME a little.
FUCK, didn't know my house phone so sensitive to sound...
siian.

after that i was finally reveled
Chris did hang up before i was reveled.
so he msg me just when i'm reveled.
then my first few word was...
"christ said tt he will call back later..."
"he say tt if hx hang le we still wanna talk then call hiim."
then hx say "okay, bye bye"
karp!
=="

my explination went wrong again.
chris did msg me saying he WILL call back joel's hp.
But he alo did sy that if HX hang up already then we can call hiimx.
Probably he was busy.

iie cried again today.
Chris, Joel n Jasmine were there for me.
But iie was thinking all the way how nice it would be if Wee were here for me.
but iie know he couldn't...
and maybe he could never be there for me any more.
Everything's changed..
even though i always wish he would be there for me.
But...
it just seems so obvious that....
he couldn't...
maybe even wouldn't...

i wonder for what iie cry sia...
everything's over le.
my life has started a new.
i'm moving on.
but why for that instand i felt such great pain?
the thoughts of KC, Wee n Hx simply hurts somehow...
the pain didn't come from just HX.
it's all acumilate into one big giant PAIN....
guess onli my heart knows the ans itself........

GAMBATTE WEE!
UR EXAM'S COMMING IN ABOUT 1 WEEK TIME LE!
JAI YOU! (=

[[_This Is All That I Could Do_]]

2008-08-15T11:59:00.000+08:00

Today went school as usual.
Everyone came to school today.
But somehow, things feels different a little in the begaining.

Class went pass as normal
Nth unusual.

After school, chiong home n bath.
Then about 2pm, i meet Chris kor n joel di at Yishun MRT station.
Went to AMK hub n watch Meet Dave.
Joel underage so can't watch Love Guru.
Maybe nt time. (=

Movie starts at 5.15 so we went to bought the yummy ice-cream.
It's like snow~!!!
YUMMY!

After tt walk around AMK n Joel even challange someone at Soul Callibur 4 outside a game shop.
LOLS.
looks like he had fun.
then dunno how we walk walk till almost time le juii go buy pop corn n nacho n went in.
Meet Dave is SUPER FUNNY!
Smth worth watching in a cinema.
Alot ppl laught tgt. (=

Aftr the movie we went walk walk around AMK.
Saw two parrots.
At first they well like "hellow~" "hellow~" "meow~"
lols.
but after i said Konbanwa!.
it went silence all the way.
>.<
is Konbanwa realli that scary???

After that we sen joel to his church n went home.

Chris told me some stuff that makes miie feel rel hurt.
Makes miie feel like...
No man can be trusted...
Aiis....

I've learn a lesson...
A big lesson...
Life can never be like the stories n comics written so lovely n dramatic.
I gotta learn to be realiastic.
No more living in my fantisy world.
No more believing that ppl can be totally trusted.
I dun even trust myself...

No more hopes for me (=

2008-08-15T00:12:00.002+08:00

Today morning wake up around 6.10am n chiong preparation n then meet Pat n went school tgt.
Bought mam mam to school thinking tt i could share it with everyone...
But end up only Me, ahPoh nPat came.
the rest all MIA...

Today damn guaiis, very attentive in Eng class.
After eng class, iie saw christ kor n talk to hiimx.
ask hiim how's his bouquet of lollipop as last monday he sms miie asking if there's any place where by he can buy tt right now.
This kind of things needa order before hand one what.
So iie suggested to hiim to go buy alot of lollipop n bring to the flower shop n ask thm to help hiimx wrap into a bouquet.
He replied that he hasn't buy it yet.

After that, Miss Moh walk pass n pulled my bag along with me n drag miie back to class.
LOLS.
It was her period already n she dun wan miie to be late.
So ya.
Then instead of teaching us GEO, she taught us SS as this two sub are combine tgt dehhx.
So she wanted us to get better marks so she used her period to teach us SS.
In the middle of her class, Daniel msg miie n iie forgot to off my HP silent.
X_x so she confiscated my HP again n returned it after her lesson.
After her class, she sayang sayang my head to ask miie try nt to absent myself that much as N level's comming in 20days time.
All iie could do is nodded my head.
Am happy though. (=

After that was PE.
While sitting outside one of the first floor class[3ta], iie was talking to santina n saw XueYan walking pass towards her class.
Was staring/looking at miie all the way lahhs.
Then when Santina walk away, iie stare back lor.
Then she look away.
SEE SEE SEE, never see before izzit?.
What iie do sia.
iie gt reason to hate euu but do u hab reasons to hate me?
by right, iie should hab stop disliking euu le lor as i'm TOTALLY OVER UR "GAN GE" HX!

forget it, i'll just ignore the pathetic act of little gurls.

after tt, juii recces, MT, Math n VE.
then school ends le.
Went eat lunch with, Pat, Qiang, Kailin, ahPoh & WenLing.
After tt, went home, bath n use com a while juii fall aslp le.
Utill 8pm wake up then eat dinner n study le lor.
Study math algebra, standard forms n all. LOLS.
Study half way...
WEE TALK TO ME. (=
happy happy.

finish talking le juii feel motivated to study le.
so continue study lurhhx.
Didn't do much prat ice.
Rather, iie listen to the explanation online more.
Went through GEO too.
My fav sub.
Hope can score high high then the other sub can hab more point to spare.
ENG n FnN.

This year need 3 subject, including ENG to be 10 points n below.
supposing, it'll be easy to pass if iie gt study.
I'm aimming on ENG, FnN and Combine Humans now.

Alot of my frens advice miie that if iie dun like studying or know tt iie am nt gd in studying, i shouldn't go up sec5 as i'll be wasting one more year.
I'll end up going to ITE again n spending another 2yrs then go poly.
Because O level is gonna be three time harder than N levels.

But alot of ppl ask miie dun go in ITE as the ppl there usually will influwence miie to not study n i'll turn bad.
And they keep asking miie to pass N levels n must go up sec5...

aii yoos...
Zhe mo ban...
iie wanna pass N levels but iie know i am nt the type for studying dehhx...
iie wanna go up sec 5 but iie scared iie fail my O n end up wasted 1 more year...
>.<
heachach lahhs...

TML meeting Christ Kor, Joel di & Edbert after school to watch movies.
After that juii go home n study study study.
Sat, morning 6am meeting pat n christ go running as now i dun dare run at night le.
Then after running, i'll go home bath n go study with CP & HYing at XueLin jie jie house.
i'll leave her house at 4pm n go home bath again.
then 6pm, iie will go to church with Christ kor.

LOVES MY BUSY LIFE!

Very long never step into a church le.
The last time iie went to a church was with my sis.
We went to city harvest church.
That place DAMN BIG.
xD

I'm currently enjoying the lollipop my sis gave miie.
YUMMY!
Love lollipop.
After finishing this lollipop, i'm gonna go brush my teeth n go to bed~

OYASUMINASAI DARLING! (=

._i've learnt to not gib myself too much HOPE_.
no hope = no disappointment = no fall = no pain = no tears = no sadness

[[_Baby, TellMeEuuLoveMeOnceMore_]]

Outing day

2008-08-13T23:59:00.001+08:00

Today almost late for school.

If it wasn't for Hx's sms, iie would hab miss school again.

Thanks again wor. (=

He morning msg miie asking miie why XueYan wanted to know my class.

guess he's worried tt smth had happen between us.

So iie replied tt iie did know why n also tt if he's intending to tell her, ask her if she's blind as she visit my Friendster profile so many time still cannot see what's my class.

Then he ask miie why so iie reply i'm nt sure but most probably she wanna see what you would reply miie in comment as tt time iie send hiimx some.

And also in another sms, iie said "you're also another funny one, it's she view miie nt iie view her, you ask miie why for what?"

Well, iie know this sounds kinda rude.

I'm sorry alrights. (=

so he got pissed n we kinda quarrel alit.

After that, iie meet Pat n we took cab down to school tgt.

Was almost late.

Then school just went pass lyk tt n all.

After school, sat bus with WeeTeng untill Northpoint there then we got off n went for lunch.

Me, Qiang kor n Pat went for lunch.

after that, they send miie home.

when iie gt home, iie open the gate with my one n only key which iie grab this morning as it looks easier to take.

Then iie took out my shoe out n wanted to open the wooden door.

but then iie realize it was lock n i only brought one key out.
I WAS TRAP!

Called mom n she ask miie go her work place to take from her.
So iie called Qiang n Pat to accompany me.
After that took MRT down to mom's work place n took key n money from her.
Then went back home, bath n go out with Qiang n Pat.
Went dhoby ghaut n bought the jap sweet as a present for JingZhi.
After than wonder around n decided to go bugis walk walk.
Saw alot of clothes iie feel like buying dehhx...
x(
Damn xin ku cans.
Can see cannot buy.

After than went to the 3th floor foodcourt eat.
Bought PASTA.
but it's SUPER YUCKY!
SUPER OILY n SALTISH lor.
Waste my $6.80.
end up eat less than half plate only juii feel like volmitting le.
So never eat much.

After that, took MRT back home.
Reach yishun le then meet mummy at FairPrice n help her carry the stuff she bought.
LOVESSS MUMMY!
Just simply love her can.

Then went home, bath n blog. (=

Never study today beside studying in school.
TML not gonna go anywhere.
After school eat n come back study!
GAMBATTE!

2008-08-12T21:15:00.003+08:00

Today didn't go school.
Wasn't feeling well in the morning all the way till the afternoon.
Nose is like water tap.
Then keep sneezing n wiping my nose till damn red.

Damn tired the whole day.
Morning 9 plus, ahPoh call miie n ask miie help them check the movie time slot.
So iie wake up, too my laptop, place it on my tummy n go online check the time slot.
type down in an sms n send them the time slot.
after that finally can sleep le.
Sleep till suang suang then ErJie called miie n ask miie help her go find a pink book n look for someone's e-mail add.
So iie pull myself awake again n search for the book n read the e-mail gib her.
Then sleep till suang suang again daddy came in n scold miie, why never go school again n all then iie woke up n sleep back again.
Then sleep till suang suang mommy shout from her room asking miie why iie never go school again n all...

Then suan le, dun wan sleep liao.
Wake up n brush my teeth n all.
Then on laptop again n reply all comments then started studying.

When iie was about to go Log in the website to study dehhx, then HE talked to miie in msn.
AM REALLI HAPPY CAN.
This motivated miie more.

After tht iie felt more n more unwell...
and wrote in my nick that iie wasn't feeling well.
So he noticed it n came n ask if i'm alrights.
iie felt realli very happy.
But i'm like multi tasking.
Chat with hiimx while studying n trying to concentrate n ignore the giddiness.
Slowly, iie felt more n more giddy.
Wonder if i've said anything wrong...
As he sounds so shiong in the end.
I was realli very giddy lor...
I wanna study, but iie feel realli tired n sick n iie wanna chat with hiimx too but iie felt strengthless n damn cold.
aiis...
Wonder did iie said anything that made hiimx angry...

After that went on studying till 8pm.
Bath n went to buy mam mam.
Wanna buy porriged but the shop close le.
So bought FriedRice instead, forgetting that i can't eat them.
iie only ate a few spoons n lose appitite again le.
Not gonna eat it anymore.
I'll just drink more water.

Mummy ask miie help her SaiYiFu n vacum the floor.
But iie only help her SaiYiFu...
Feel strengthless to vacum the floor.
Sorry mom...
Now i'm damn tired.
Gonna slep soon.

Oyasuminasai Sweety.

one newly edited photos.
others are edited by TanXiaoWen last week.
P.S:finally able to post pic again. >.<

2008-08-11T23:56:00.002+08:00

Morning 10am woke up.
Meet Daniel at 11 going 12 oclock then had breadfast & accompany hiimx go cut hair at FarEast.
After that we did't have anything to do so decided to watch movie.
The Month of the Hungry Ghost, or smth.
It's just like a normal TV show ut last for about 2hrs introducing about ghost things n our culture n all.
And he watch till he fall aslp.
xD
This stuff doesn't intrest hiimx.
They talk in chinese n hokian n all and he can't understand them as he's from MyatMa.
Unless he reads the subtitle lahhs.

After that, meet pat at city hall.
Waited for hiimx for like 20 mins.
While waiting, there's this two kid who LOOKS younger than me.
Like sec1 or sec 2 lyk tt asked for my number.
My first question was "how old are you?"
And he replied "what about euu? how old are you?"
and iie replied "16"
and he said "i'm 16 too, born in 1992 rights?"
but iie still refuse to gib hiimx my number but he insisted on it.
So iie ask can iie gib e-mail instead?
At first he refuse, but iie keep insisting that iie dun realli talk to strangers.
So end up he agree so iie gave hiimx my e-mail n he left.

Today didn't realli hab the heart to study during Class.
But remember that this morning, Wee msg miie to ask miie JaiYou study.
So iie tried my best to clam my mind n pay attention in class...
Am realli happy to recive his msg so early in the morning. (=
It made my say seems brighter somehow.

After class, iie was all hyper...
The 'evil' part of miie came out.
iie was like all hyper n crazy...
I was like torturing hiimx n all...
And iie realli enjoy seeing hiimx suffering in my hands.
MUAHAHAHAS!.
xD

Then on my way home, iie saw the cat that the last time iie post her sleeping photo here dehhx again.
She was sleeping around the ame place but in the middle of the road.
so iie went towards her n she woke up string away n keep meowing at miie.
So iie tot she was hungry so iie bought a packet of food n fed her.
She was realli enjoying it but my whole hand kana the fishy food smell.
YUCK!

But it's good that she enjoyed her meal. (=
Meow Meow~

tt's all for today.
nights everyone.

xoxo, Jasmine

2008-08-10T16:33:00.004+08:00

I'm home today.
And ya, as usual, iie always tends to think alot when i'm home.

I WANNA STUDY TODAY!
Can't seems to find my password for the page where iie can revise my chapters dehhx website.
Just for the password, iie needa pay money one okay.
F***
gonna contact the perso later to ask what happen.

Couldn't help missing HIIMX today.
Should go find more stuff to occupipe my time.
I dun mind going out alone n wandering about either.
As long as it save my mind from thinking too much. (=

iie should keep my mind set as waiting for fate.
But somehow, iie tot about something since ytd.
Sometime, if fate dun comes to us, we hab to go find fate.
Without hardwork there wouldn't be pay off.
Even though what meant to be ur's will eventually be ur's.
But...
What if fate gib us chances but we ourself didn't take the intiative to grab the chance???...
It's true that without fate, effort will be wasted, but without trying, how do u even know if it's meant to be urs or nt?...
Just like without tasting the food, how do u know that if it's yummy or nt.
Even though if the food eds up yucky, atleast u learns n understands that it's yucky.

Everytime see hiimx online feel realli happy.
Yet, i dare not talk to hiimx.
Dun wanna end up distrubing hiimx.
He's always busy with his school work.
School work more important okays.
And dun wanna take risk spoiling my own mood either... (=

iie can't do anything.
iie dare not do anything.
All iie can do is sit here n wait...
Wonder will the future lies for us.
Hopefully, it'll be a happy one...

I always hab alot of plans on my mind, but when ever i come to blogging, iie would kinda forget it all.
>.<

did iie say before i'm gonna go exten more hair on my head after N?
Becoz now iie feel that my hair is too little to created the effect of the hairstyle i wan.
xD
But then again, maybe nt. (=

I so gonna CHIONG to shopping after N levels.
i can't wait to buy more clothes.
LOLS.

Oh. and finally, CP present arrive le.
It's nt from other country nor is it very expensive but, it sure is hard to find and it's brand new!
And i'm gonna find time go buy the JAPANESE sweet for her too. (=

WAH!
ZHI HAO KOR! IIE WANNA KILL EUU!
UR BLOG'S SONGS MADE MIIE MISS WEE EVEN MORE.
ALMOST CRY CANS.
>.<

oh well...
but the song sure is nice, exspecially with that kind of blogskin.
It become all so sad n sweet.

I'm going to my ah ma house soon.
Will blog again later. (=

9.57PM

BACK!

can't seems to get HIIMX off my head today...
this sux...
where did my positive thinking went to???...
>.<

aiis...
today's nt a realli gd day...
is my GOOD DAYS gonna end soon?
are those BAD DAYS starting soon?
haiis...

ALL BAD THING CAN COME!
I DUN MIND!
Just please stop after 3 weeks.
The most gib euu last timme oct.
after that, please, dun spoil my life.
Please dun spoil my life too much...
i dun wanna lose hiimx.

xD
i'm crazy.

[[_NOTICE ME PLEASE_]]

Start of a new chapter.

2008-08-10T02:03:00.002+08:00

YAY!
GT MY MINI LAPTOP LE.

Sadly, iie can't post how it looks like here as my house's internet seems to hab somekind of problem stopping us to.
Oh well.

Today morning 10am plus wake up.
Went market with mom to buy her stuff for cooking n praying to god god dehhx.
After that, gt home n waited for the delivery man.
Then the guy deliver to my house & explain all of the stuff n was about to pay by credict card but the card gt prob.
So iie go bath n went down to bishan with the guy to my aunt house.
I even msg my mom saying "you nt scared he kidnap me har?".
letting miie travel all the way to bishan by MRT with a young man around his 20s. which we oly met for like 1hr ago???
LOLS.

reach le then found my aunt house.
AND FINALLY GT TO MEET SUGAR THE DOGGY!
KAWAII DESU!

Then my uncle settle the paying prob and also bought a chinese dictioary for Da biao mei, JINGZHI.
Stay there play till 4 plus going 5 then left n went home with my aunt's family.
Everyone stayed at my house n had dinner.
MY FIRST MEAL OF THE DAY!
mommy's cooking is the best man!
(=

After that had to entertain both BiaoMei.
When i finally run out off batt, i let Da Biao Mei play my HP game while XiaoBiaoMei play barbie.com.
LOLS.
then both squeeze in my bed playing game while i lay on my bed rest.
Was having headach.

when they left, i was using com replying comment n all.
dunno why my life suddenly seems to change so much.
or was it just me who us changing?...
Alot of comments now a days.
From both gurls n guys.
well, guess times flies n things changes.

A NEW CHAPTER OF MY LIFE HAS STARTED. (=
And i'm sure that it'll be a kinda happy one.
Even though GOOD THINGS NEVER LAST, but i'll try my bet to keep this happiness.
Without hardwork, there's no happiness. (=

btw,
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE!
ILOVEYOU SG!
WITHOUT I WOULDN'T MEET ALL THE PPL HERE N WOULDN'T BE SAFE FROM NATURAL DISASTER!

i finally started to love my life.
but iie kow i'll hate it again sooner or later.
Life gonna be harder n harder.
Ppl grow older n older n ppl comes n go..
Goodybye can never be prevented.
TREASURE THE PPL AROUD YOU NOW.
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY & HAPPY HOLIDAYS EVERYONE!

3 more week to N levels...

2008-08-09T01:51:00.004+08:00

INTERNET LOUSY AGAIN!
CAN'T POST PICTURE AGAIN.
SIIAN!

Today almost late for school.
Then gt meet PAT
so iie 6.45am wake up then called hiimx "pat, now then iie wake up lehhx, zhe mo ban?"
lols.

after that chiong prepare then 7.15 took cab to school.
7.22am then reach school.
late by a little.
heng today no detention.

After that, time flies and concert time gt singing dehhx...
We sang and then later blah blah blah n went to eat ban mia then after tt juii go home le...

Gt home, went to my mama room, she still slping thus air-con is still on.
Climb up the bed n fell aslp.
After a while, went pee pee then went to my own bed slp till 5pm plus.

Then went dinner with mom n went NTUC bought alot mam mam.
Now home le.
Blogging n all...
Mom suddenly spoil my mood...

Was feeling rather happy.
Like "TODAY'S ANOTHER HAPPY DAY FOR ME!!"
and iie hope that iie will never loss this kind of happy days.
But good things NEVER LAST. )=

My leg's better already. (=
Can walk normally, JUMP & even RUN!
hahas.
but iie can't wear shoe tt's like school shoe.
then nail hit smth a little will pain.
So ya...

2008-08-08T01:51:00.000+08:00

WAH!
PHOTOS CAN FINALLY BE UPLOADED.
BEEN USING MY HP TO POST ALL THE PIC THESE WHILE!
YAY!

Today went to school.
Meet pat then meet WenQiang&WeeTeng for breadfast.
Yummy.

Went school and all.
Study & sleep. [at free period]
After school went for lunch with WeeTeng, ahPoh, WenLing & Patrick.
Didn't bring enough money today.
So didn't hab money for lunch.
But they all insisted on miie habing my lunch & went buying the food fer miie.
THANKS GURLS & STARFISH FOR UR CONCERN!
LUBB YA ALL LOT LOT. (=

Today's another go called happy day bahhs.
Even though after eating, i emo the whole day.
But it was due to the weather.
It was all dark clound and windy day.
I wanna smile n stay happy but could help being all tired and moodless.
SORRY!

After that went home, bathed and meet MUMMY.
Went shopping.
Mom bought me a MINI LAPTOP.
Actually it came in an educational package.
The memory of the laptop is only 2GB lor.
xD
Mom bought for miie to study only.
Not for gaming.

After that saw alot of makeups on sales.
So bought concealers, 2way foundation, eyeliner.
And bought two things that can help miie tidy up my eyelash a lit bit when putting on makeups.

Intending on putting on MakeUp on days when i feel like to only.
So don't worry.
xD

After that went eat n all.
And then gt home around 10pm.
Now damn tired.
Gotta go sleep le.
Tml iie going to National Day celebration at school.
Guaiis rights? x)

Wee~
How have euu been.
Hope u're eating well.
Don't gib urself too much stress kays.
LOVE YA! (=

i no longer need an answer from euu.
i dun need any answer any more.
i'll just be here.
Whenever euu need miie.
i'll be here, waiting for da day that we'll be tgt again.
When everything could be restarted.
When everything would be perfect, just for the two of us.
No more distrust, no more one sided love, no more unneeded pain created.
Untill the day when we will stand strong tgt.
Untill the time comes for us to be tgt.
When we got the chance from fate...

P.S: Am realli happy. Thanks to euu. (=

[[_SweetMemoriesOfMe&You_]]
._You'llNeverBeForgotten_.

Meow

2008-08-07T00:45:00.001+08:00

Just got home again from night class. Today totally can't concentrate in chem tuition. Additional 4ppl join our class which was noisey enough already. Now it's like noisey till can't study. Sian... Meet daniel after class. Chat a lot. Then chat till 10.40pm like that and we parted. He's a really nice and frenly guy.(= after that jui went home le. Nothing much happen today. Wasn't feeling well the whole day. As usual, ate one meal today. Totally no to appetite these few days. Oh, today Wear slipper to school everyone saw my badly injured toe and kept asking me what happen to me. I keep repeating the same thing till Damn Sian. But i know everyone's just worried. Thanks guys! Todays is so called a happy day for me. I'm 90% happy today. Finally, a day that makes me feels so happy and blessed to have all the frens around me. (= Wonder how's Wee today. Hope he's as happy and cheerful as always. And i really miss you today... When will we be able to be beside each other, smiling and laughing happily? Please stay happy wor. Let's jai you tgt for our exams/tests. Gambatte! Sorry for the merry post again. Used HP to blog again.

2008-08-06T01:13:00.002+08:00

I ACCIDENTALLY KICKED MY DAD'S HARD HARD BAG AND MY TOE NAIL ALMOST FALL OFF.

blood slowly leak out from the wound through my nail.
iie was like bearing the pain n making all kinds of funny sound till my family scold miie noisey and iie broke out my tears.
then finally, my mom came and some how nurse miie a lit bit.

DAM PAIN CAN.
as my mom put the yellow medi, iie was like chewing on the skin of my left hand.
find it kinda delicious somehow.
xD
but still...
PAIN!...

can't control my tears just now... )=

Prelim

2008-08-05T23:15:00.004+08:00

Today had my Chinese Prelim Paper.
Totally flunk it!
aiis...
About 3 more weeks to N levels.
i'm so dead.

My First N levels paper is Chinese - o2 Sept 2oo8 @ 8am to 10am paper 1, 10.30am to 12pm paper 2.
Chinese Listening Comprehension - o3 Sept 2oo8 @ 8am to 8.30am.
Social Studies o3 Sept 2oo8 @2pm - 3.30pm.
Eng paper 1 - o4 Sept 2oo8 @ 8am to 9.45am
Eng paper 2 - o4 Sept 2oo8 @10.30am to 12.10pm
4 Science paper(BIO/CHEM) - 29 Sept 2oo8 From 9.45am to 12.45pm
Maths paper 1 - 29 Sept 2oo8 @ 2pm to 4pm
Maths paper 2 - o3 Oct 2oo8 @ 8am to 10am
Geo paper - o3 Oct 2oo8 @ 2.30pm to 4pm
FnN paper - o8 Oct 2oo8 @ 2pm to 3.30pm

Wonder why the timing all split so big dehhx.
Do we have to go to school when there's no paper that day?...
>.< style="color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">D.Gray-Man today.
Here's the First few episodes for euu all to watch fer fun first.
It's SUPER NICE LOR THIS SHOW! [to me lahhs.]

Miss Wee....
My heart's hurting a little by little as i misses hiimx...
When will i be able to contact hiimx again...
haiis..

我很怕.
I'm afraid that thing would change...
I'm afraid that i would not be able to get everything back to normal...
I dun wan anything to be different...
I wanna make everything back to how it was...
But it needs time...
and iie lack confident...
What if iie am not able to heal though wound?
What if those wounds will never we able to heal?
But i dun wanna lose hiimx either...
aiis...
these thoughts are tearing miie apart.

._TornApart_.

[[_uoyevoli_] [[_uoyssimi_]] [[_uoydeeni_]]
wu(ya)er(zi)(jiao)ling

P.S: INTERNET STILL SOT.
CAN'T POST ANY PIC ONLINE. )=

Sushi day

2008-08-04T01:10:00.000+08:00

Today i went to sakae sushi with baoli, weeTeng, ahjohn and pat. Ate till Damn full. Almost can't walk after that. Total cost was 94.75 dollars. I only ate like 10 plates lahhs. Feel like i'm gonna grow fat soon. Later wee don't want me for sure. Lol. After that meet Xiaowen and HweeHuang and left Yishun at 6.15 to go city hall for extra lesson. Today's class with as usuall. As usual, we can hear the dancing class's music from downstair in our room. Even the floor's shaking. Wonder if wee's having fun and how does he look like when he dancing. Haiis... Every time i write about him here, i feel so dumb. What if he end up don't want me and rejects me? I'll be feeling so dead. Everytime i always xing gan qing yuan de. Ppl never agreed only say need time think yet i bury myself so deep in. I am really dumb isn't it?... I'm sorry if this post looks like this. Because i'm using my handphone to post this post. It's 1am already and i needa sleep. I'm just doing a quick blogging. Oh well, i miss you... Good nights.

2008-08-03T21:22:00.003+08:00

Tml's gonna be Monday again!
YAY!
GT NIGHT CLASS AGAIN! (=

Everytime i've always been hopping for miracles to happen.
even though i know it impossible.
but iie still hope i might be able to meet himx.
my heart will totally be mess up.
and even though i wanted to meet hiimx by chance so badly, i wouldn't dare to look at hiimx.
now just by thinking of it makes my heart skip abit.
i hab great imaginations. (x
DRAMA! xD

But still, i look forward to tml's night class. (=

Today am home the whole day.
Read the manga online the whole day.
xD

Miss Wee too.
To what extend did i miss hiimx?
To the extend i wanna see hiimx right now. (=

Now thinking back...
i'm all so happy n all, hopping this, hopping tt, miss hiimx n thinking alot of things n all about hiim...
Scarly he end up dun wan me then i'll be like from heaven fall all the way to 18 floor of hell.
Maybe nt 18 but 1800000000000000 millions feet down into hell...
aiis... )=

Somehow....
now just by thinking of Wee, makes miie smile.
i wonder why.
is it because today i'm feeling happy so i'm thinking of all the positive things tt's why i'm so happy just by thinking of hiimx?...
He's realli someone who makes miie realli happy and realli do so much and touches my heart.
He's the type of guy that i will never have any douth in & he's someone who cannot be replace by anyone.
As in like other ppl i stead n break le, their love can easily be forgotten n replaced, but Wee's different.
i dunno why.
I will never forget the way he loves me then.
Aiis...
now say so much also no use... )=

oh well, i'll be waiting.

[[_it's my turn to wait fer euu_]]

Today online MSN around 7 or 8 plus till now.
Changed my Blog's Song & friendster profile's Song & changed my MSN nick.
What other changes did i make???
hummm...
dunno...

i'm thinking of growing my hair long and let it grow back thicker.
As my current hair dehhx layers are too messy and too much layer tt's why it's QQ.
Then iie wanna cut my layer back neatly.
When will that be possible???... )=
Hair~ Grow faster cans?...
XiaoWen asking my to cut my hair SHORT with her.
Because she wanna cut but dun dare cut alone.
Should i cut my hair short???...
>.<"

Photos For Euu To Compare:

Short

Long

Later TV got show incredible tales.
Gonna call JOEL and watch the tv.
Coz no one pei wo watch then iie scared lahhs.
Especialy now is HUNGRY GHOST FESTIVILE.
If only Wee could watch it with me.
xD

[[_Gib me one more chance to love euu right_]]

2008-08-03T02:04:00.000+08:00

Today, as usual, i stayed home.
DAMN BORED.
But what to do?.

Internet was slow as usual.
So didn't online MSN again today.
Maybe it's good that iie didn't online.
If not i see Wee online, iie will hab the urge to talk to hiimx online.
LOLS.
xD

Spent most of the time sleeping than studying. )=
haiis.

Just listen to the song 只欠一句我爱你.
suddenly recalled the time when miie n Wee went to Sentosa that day.
Heart suddenly gt a warm warm feeling.
Kinda happy dehhx feeling.
But then again, it doesn't last long...
Because the state we are in now, might never be the same as last time again.
Haiis.... )=

Wonder how he's doing now.
Everyday, gt the urge to sms hiimx but.
We shuo hao le.
After his exam then he contact me.
So...
I'm waiting.

What if he didn't contact me?
Could that be that,
he never wanna see me again?...
haiis...

Today watch an anime & read an interesting manga online.
World Destruction & Ga-Rei.
I prefer Ga-Rei a lit bit more though.

Today's the second day of the Hungry Ghost Festival.
I personally is Suay one.
In fact, my family are the suay ones.
So sometimes will meet tio.
So hope & pray tat WE won't meet any by chance this year.

Thanks for tagging ppl. (=
I just happen to see alot of my frens putting their BS links at the shout out.
So i followed.
Monkey see Monkey do can.
Hope i dun get spam for fun because my BS link can be found easily through my friendster shout out.

So ppl, please, NO SPAMMING.
Thanks. (=

My school 1EA ppl sure are friendly huh.
All go around friendster adding who ever's in northland.
Wow.
Compare to them when i was Sec1.
iie didn't dare do it.
Because, that time iie hab a smaller social circle.
And i'm more quiet n soft spoken.
Didn't wanna cause any trouble so didn't put any effort like add who ever's a Northlander.
Oh well.

Darn it!
Why is it that the song's codes that i wanna find so tt iie can put it in my blog dehhx always dun hab.
siians....
is the song I decided by R kelly really that rare?!?!.
F***!
xD

Forget it.
It's 3.03am now.
iie shall go sleep le...

Nights.

2008-08-01T23:11:00.003+08:00

Today didn't went to school.
another day of missing school = another day of loneliness.

Damn boring at home.
nth to do.
all iie could do is staring at the com.
internet was slow.

haiis.
another day of emo.
feeling sad the whole day.
very depress today.
all those kind of negative thinking.
but then again, there's also positive thinking when iie suddenly feel happy.

LOVES THE SHOW D.GREY-MAN.
was at first introduce by Hx but nt because of hiimx then i like this show dehhx.
but iie personally love it after watching 100+epi.
lols!
it's smth like naruto&bleach.
gt fighting fighting but like bleach magic magic and everyone has its own special powers.
heart-warming at time, hilarious at times and full of surprises.
Defiantly something worth watching!

Just happen to watch it at art central today.
was laughing.
And finally felt happy today.
hahas.
been a long time since i've watch it.

miss Wee today.
tot of lots of things.
i'm afraid that things will not work out after all the damage i have done.
if he realli leaves me.
iie dunno if i could accept any other relationship or nt.
because of all the dumb decisions i made, i damage nt only HIS heart but also mine.
my life is full of regrets.
my greatest regrets started out when i was SEC2 and last till now.
ever since SEC2, the wrong decision i've made is countless.
have i grew DUMB or what?.

sometimes, i just feel like ending my life.
because, everything seems so meaningless after all the wrong things i've done.
i know its stupid, but... (=

because, i'm afraid of death.
because i dun understand what would happen after death, so i'm afraid to die.
if only we understood what would happen after death, maybe we wouldn't be so afraid of it.

sometimes i do wonder.
what is wrong with me?
why and how could my life end up so miserable all of a sudden.
within only a few years only.
i use to never had a care in the world.
i didn't care who didn't like me, who uses me, who is my enemy, why did i exist and all those kind of funny question.
i never dislike existing nor like existing, i just live my life as it passes each few days.
hopping i would grow up faster.
but now, ever since i enter secondary school, i wishes i didn't existed.
iie realli wish i could erase my existence.
but reality says it's impossible...

Today's Rate:

80% Miserable
20% Happy