last night iie had a DREAM...
iie dream of WEE!...
iie dream that it's after our exams le.
so iie contacted hiimx and asked hiim out.
then he said he'll reply me the next day.
The next day arrived and there was no news of hiimx.
so iie waited till the next day.
then he finally called me.
but it was a gal who called me with his HP.
and she said "Wee won't go out with you de lahhx. he won't want to go out with you de. he dun wan you."
Then iie was shock and asked "may i know who is this?"
then she keep saying "wee say he dun wan go out with you"
then iie ask her again who is she.
then iie heard wee voice.
then he answered the phone.
then he say "sorry, i dun like you any more. i got galfren liao.it's to late for you le. goodbye"
then both laugh laugh and hang up the phone.
my heartaches and iie cried in my dreams.
in my dream iie even told wee teng that "i tot i wouldn't be so sad dehhx. i tot i won't hurt so badly dehhx... but why?"
WeeTeng tried to cheer me up but iie still crying.

Then iie wake up from my dreams le.
but the hurting of my heart from the dream is still there.
Chocho jump up my bed and step step me.
as she step, my heart hurts too due to the dream.
and my mind is like "ouch ouch ouch... WTF"
because my hearts hurts.
iie dunno why suddenly gt this kind of dreams...
haiis.
this kind of dream sux.
cause when i wake up my pillow will be wet as iie cried in my dream and the heartaches last even after i wake up...
haiis...

Today time pass damn slow.
tried to study.
but it like totally no mood.
study alone is like...=="
zhe mo ban?
who can help me... )=

8pm meet er jie at bishan and walk walk for fun.
she bought a skirt and two plants thingy.
after that juii go home le.
short but fun...

wonder what is install for me tml...
feel like it's gonna be like always...
nth special, nth sad, nth surprising, nt very boring but nt very fun either...
just normal...

maybe happiness is out of my dictionary.
it will never exist till maybe, 5years later?...
i am currently to dumb&stoopid to hab any.
what is happiness?
where do happiness come from?
how can i identify happiness?
how am i suppose to keep this happiness?
how can i build this happiness?
am i too young for happiness?
when will my happiness come?....

._i destroyed my own happiness_. (=
[[_HowClever!_]]

been thinking alot today about me and wee.
all thanks to my stoopid dream.
iie forget what was it about.
but it was something convincing me that, Wee could be WAY HAPPIER without me interfering with his life.
iie cannot be so selfish to stop hiim from meetting someone better and being with someone BETTER THAN ME. )=
i would be plan selfish if i stop him from habing his happiness.
because, after so much damage i made,
I WILL NEVER BE HIS HAPPINESS.
I CAN NEVER BE HIS HAPPINESS.
I AM NOT HIS HAPPINESS....

iie am someone who creates only pain n suffering for hiimx.
the min that he let go and gave up on me, no, infact the min i let himx go, our times end there.
the time for us to stop and go our separates ways.
no matter how much we do, we won't be able to be tgt.
it's fate....

we failed our test...
iie was the one who failed our test.

For US, i failed to be faithful.

For hx n me this year, i failed in trust.

For Kim & Me, i failed to see.[choose hiimx as my stead tt time as his BG look like HX's last time]

For hx n me when we sec1, i failed to be there with hiimx.

For LinZhen n me, i failed to LOVE. [WORST!]

in every relationship, there will be mistakes.
When will i ever stop making any more mistakes?...

reality sure is... SAD....
for me....


Today's rate:

20% HAPPY
80% SAD