thoughts...

o8 March 2oo7, Sunday

Today iie hab nth much to say about wad ii've done today...
iie would wanna say out wad's in my mind now...
but... iie can't think of much of it now...
gib miie some time to slowly explain and think okay?

PDP

iie know why iie used to like to hang out with my frens better than my stead...
coz iie can turely be myself and do or say anything without being comment...
but now wad's happen issh that, everyone started comment about this and that...
it's like, aren't school works and teachers enough already?...
wad's with da comment?...
yeah.... iie know things that u're nt happy with is better said then hidden...
but haiiz... why can't we take it and accept it like before?...
like how we use to?...
we're far more worst than a family~
aren't sister suppose to forgive and forget?...
even for it's attitudes?...
iie dun get it...
is it becoz of jealousy or aren't it?...
i'm as confuse as well...
iie dunno wad to do...
iie hesitated oh weather to post this a not...
i'm scared that i'll piss any of u out...
and more worst, PDP meeting again?...
iie dun like those meeting...
iie dun like speaking my hearts thoughts out...
ii'm afraid that iie couldn't hold back my tears...
and most of all, iie hate tends situation...

Frens VS Stead

Issh stead more important than frens?...
to miie...
they both felt equally important...
some how... to miie, both are more important than family...
frens n stead issh in da 1st place while family issh in da 2nd...
da rest go on so on so fore...
1st n 2nd... most important..da rest... condition apply...
clear enough?...

Family

iie got my hp confiscated due to over use till $99...
some of u might think "$99 only... chey~"
and might even think that i'm poor...
well, yes... iie do not come from a rich family...
neither am iie bewi poor...
at least iie get to get money enough for my 3 meals per day...
and get to hab things iie need to communicate with ppl and play with...
iie might seems unsatisfied with wad iie hab now...
and well, that's ture...
that's why iie dun mind not eating any of da meal and save up da money to buy wad iie want...
iie dun realli ask from my mom any more...
iie dun wanna bother her nor get disappointed from her answer...
i'm tried of being disappointed any more...
well, who dun?... hahax...
that's why iie can't wait to be 16 where iie can start working and being allowed to work...
as my mom only allows miie to work when i'm 16...
but iie still do hope this to slow down...
so iie can enjoy my life in this year....
but it seems hard...
and iie can't make up my mind on weather iie want da time to go fast or slow...
each has it's own good and bad points...
i'm drifting further from my sisters...
they seems to hab a life of their own now....
can't blame...
they've grew~
while i'm still growing up...
i'm in a growing stage where they hab long pass...
they hab a dream and a goal in life...
but miie...
iie dun hab any thing to motivate miie to look forward to da next day...
all iie can say about tml issh "tml? oh.... tml...."
iie hab nth to look forward to...
coz everyday are lived with problems and decision...
to be and nt to be good?...
iie can choose... but can't do....
to be good... but can't manage to...
be bad... can't bring myself to be too bad...
bad, boring....
good, even more boring...
wad's da point of being any?...
why do iie even exist?...
why do iie even live?...
i've been asking myself that for a very long time now....
been coming up alot of answer but none are acceptable...
but still, also cannot die wad...
dun dare and dun bare....
really! wad am iie living for?...
haiiz...

Da meaningless gurl - LOST