Konbanwa~!

Loving someone who love you
or loving someone who love his friends more then he love you?

Having someone who love you whole heartedly is wonderful.
Having someone who treasure his frens more than you is painful.

Have you ever felt jealousy even for a short moment because he/she love his frens more than he/she love you?...
It's weird & dumb in a way.
But it does happens.

I've always long for a Guy who i love and who love me.
Put me in first place in his heart beside studies or family, never forgets about me/ leave me out on anything & never lie to me.
Like wad we heard in SpiderMan3, "You have to put your wife before you"
smth like tt...


Haiis...
Why wouldnt he?...





Today morning use com watch anime and play Pokemon GBA.
Was waiting for Hx they all to ask me play dota.
Paisehh, i bi jiao buay zhi dong one...
so i only waited.

End up call joe, he say he playing with them liao.
Wha lao...
good lor.
nvm.
suan.
Total disappointment.
But i also buay zhi dong that type, so bo bian...
haiis...

Then 4,43pm, Hx called me.
ask me why never contact him n play game n all.
explain n then he go work so hang up phone liao.

after that Wee sudddenly msn me.
and i tot i deleted him
=X
but i didnt block.
so he still can see me.
he ask me got play FL not and all.
So end up train with him.
9pm, log out FL.
waited for orders.
and went play dota/war3 game with the guys.

If i going in ITE, i might join Mandy's ITE in Bishan.
But i'm thinking of going to a futher ITE to start anew or smth.
i feel like my life is really crashing down.
i love my peaceful life now.
Not much happen.
Partly becoz i choose not to face it.
so yeah.
and so, partly, i HATE my life now.
Too messed up.
Thanks to you lahhs, BASTARD.



When i was younger.
i tot being love by someone and anyone is a blessing.
and steading lots of time wouldnt kill.
But...
true, it's not killing me.
But it's hurting me & torturing me from inside out.
The more you stead the pain slowing accumulate up.
And someday, when the pain is just too much for one to handle it...
slowly, it'll cause side effect...

I notice...
I've been hurt so easily and tries so much in trying to protect myself[heart] from being deeply wounded again.
Maybe, i try a little too hard that...
i kinda lost who i use to be.
i forgot how to love someone whole heartedly, ignoring other pain & only just love that person.
i forgot who am i...
i tried so hard to chang myself, just becoz i tot i wasnt good enough.
just becoz i tot he wouldt be happy with me being just like that.
a dumb, silly and reckless gurl who doesnt think but only do wad my heart say and ignoring all common sense stuff around me.
i tot, being like this wasnt a good GF.
i try so hard to change, try to hard to do a little smth for him.
end up...
all i got was....

NOTHING. (:

i hate guys who are lazy.
they're better off single that way.
How can you say you love someone when u're so lazy to even show it to her?
BULLSHIT.
Fuck whoever who say that, they hab no rights to love someone.
giving reasons like "you know i'm a lazy person and i dont express myself much."
excuses.
fuck tart.

Love can do wonders.
So stop giving excuses.
if you love someone, u'll be willing to do anything.
But there's exception though...
Some ppl who lost trust in love.
Need another to heal it and show him/her that love is not all about pain & lie.
i'm waiting for that someone too. (:
So far, i found none...

I'm tired...
i wish i could find myself back soon.
and recover soon...

Oyasuminasai.

xoxo, Jasmine; 4.02am, 26 nov 2oo6 post.



P.S: My Prince will come one day, someday. <3>