it's killing miie

elloz
finally blogging after such a long time...
hahas...
haben been blogging as i dun realli hab the time...
yeah, i've been home, in front of the com...
but i'm too obsess with the game BlackAndWhite that's iie dun hab the time [x
pardon miie ppl...
iie juz love the game...
been replaying it for 5 time already....
haben even completed the game yet...
hahas...
but i'm thinking to replay again as there's minor problems here n there...
the game is about u being a god supporting ur village with all the surplies they need even offspring!
u will hab to fight other god for the whole island of ppl...
on the island, there's quite a number of village here n there...
and u'll hab ur own temple and so wadever...
hahas...
u will choose a creature in da first golden quest..
a cow, a o-rang-bu-tan or a tiger...
iie choose the moo moo cow...
it's darn cute lahhx...
iie made hiim into a holy cow in my last game...
but iie gotta delete the whole game and re-install it as there's an fatal error...
haiiz...
then now iie replay again, it became a ugly bony brown cow with sharp horn , teeth and even toungh...
eeyer!
iie wan my white with black spot dehhx moo moo cow~
sad...
now i'm trying to teach hiim good...
will he be able to turn back to good?
or will he stay evil?
watch out for the next notice then...
hahas...

okay...
this is for hao...
31th Oct will be the day iie gib the answer...
To Wee or to Panda shall iie go?....


i've been in the act of being a bad gurl...
like iie want to lyk tt...
yeah....
iie know i'm selfish for not letting hiim go in the first place n end up in this kind of state...
not even iie wanna see okayz...
that time iie lose hiim due to a terrible mistake...
then july we got back again but where unable to be as close as last time...
iie know iie didn't gib hiim enough time to recover from the pain iie gave hiimx...
iie know iie am selfish here to....
but i'm an attention seeker...
iie dun like to be alone nor to be left out...
when iie need hiimx, iie realli do....
BADLY!...
so, we end up breaking again in aug...
as iie felt our love is fading, iie gave up waiting...

and so iie found panda...
also my another ex...
he's been accompanying miie using games n on phone...
someone that iie can count on when iie needed someone there...

so as iie stayed home waiting, he accompany miie with games n phone...
and when tyco online, iie chat with tyco in msn... always the same thing...
same little words...

so end up gibing up...


and so here came panda n miie...
we always 'fight'...
hahas...
in words and in action...
he juz plain love to make miie angry then iie with start biting hiimx, tickkling hiimx, sit on his back crush hiim!
muahaha!
iie must admit...
it was fun lahhx...
but in da process, he did twist my hand here n there and "crack" it'll go...
but it wasn't always painful...
hahas...
so iie was alright with fighting with hiimx...
but only to hiimx...
other guys, iie dun hab the interest...
as iie know panda is a guy with no dirty thoughts, know hiimx for 3 years le lehhx..
not bewi long but not bewi short either...
so iie know i'm safe lahhx...
so flower start to bloom and,
TA DA!
WELCOME TO MY PORBLEM!


wee came back...
and here's panda too...
both an ex...

miie unable to forget panda since we broke up in sec two...
every single day of my life, when iie see panda, i'll get heart attacks...
and tt's for real...
iie remember telling CP about it too...
but forgot when was it...
someone that will easily make miie cry...
a man with words of torn...
=x

Wee, someone iie loved but gave up in waiting for his heart to come back...
and now he came back loving miie like how he used to and maybe even more!
iie know i've hurt hiims alots alots....
but can iie never hurt hiimx agiain?...

so, today will be the last day till tml...
iie got two event...
one, either to meet up Wee
two, meet panda they all to celetebrate my gan kor dehhx birthday...

so suay, why at this day?!?!
why must it be this day?!?!
that both hab event...
must iie say it as heng or suay?...
such coincident...

iie somehow feel like not choosing any...
iie would like to explain...
but it'll be so long...
hahas...

haiiz...
friend is the term iie wanna use on BOTH OF THEM...


we're still young...
so wad's the rush...
no matter who iie choose...
iie douth there'll be a forever...
so why dun juz wait?...
till we're older...

yeah...
tt's right...
hahas...


annd now iie think about it...
both of them are the only ex that has a special song with miie...
ding...@.@

oh well...
enough of my blogging...
the post has been so darn long...

think all euu want ppl...
those who wanna hate miie...
please do...
no one's stopping u...

those who dun, thank euu for ur understanding...

Hearts <3

BACK!
miss miie?...
haben been blogging uhs...
well, guess i'm back on blogging, for now...
hahas...
iie wonder how XiaXue get her blog fame so high up...
iie should try to learn from her...
bai shi xue yi...
but her blog also not much dehhx nehhx...
beside the videos that kinda interested miie...
nth else much actually...
iie dun even bother about her post...
it's like nth else beside her complains and showing off how rich or wad ever she is...
hahas...

opps, iie should learn yo keep my mouth shut too...
dun wanna get involve in unnecessary stuff...

been hyper these days...
as euu can see, all iie do issh laugh laugh laugh n smile whole day...
talking craps n lame jokes that will only make miie laugh...
hahas...
crazy as ever...
juz by reading my blog, u can see how hyper iie am already...
siiao cha bo huh...


well, about my problems...
iie guess both of the 'victims' know what's going on lurhhx...
i've clearly explain stuff to one of them but unclearly explain stuff to the other...
now what we hab to do...
issh to wait for the arrival of 31 OCT 2oo7...
the starting of everything...
will it start a new or end?
who knows...
let's wait n see...
iie juz hope during this one week plus, nth unpleasant would happen...
untill then, wish miie all da best for my life bahx...

during this short little week, i would hope to make some extreme measures...
that's my goal for this week...
chiong ahh!
-HP
-More New Clothes
-New hair style

hahas...
crazy miie...
some wanna make some changes for the upcoming holidays!



"sometime, wad u see might not always be true"
"wad u feel can sometime be an illusion too"

that's my quotes for todays!
WOOT
hahas...


well, iie do seems happy uhs...
well, a bit...
iie kinda figure out smth and i'm 80% sure of it...
but hope that doesn't shake around and make miie confuses though...


oh well, hope everything that ends well, goes well...
no more pain and suffering...
juz miie using my whold heart to love someone...
*iie guess iie gave out the biggest clue on wad's going on x=*
juz hope everything stays fren fren...
might make everything feels easier...


memories sure are deep uhs...
make miie miss a particular someone so much...
it's deeply carve into da heart n soul that i'll take someone else to replace those memories...
but still, some memories are never meant to be forgotten....
it might be mostly painful memories...
but life still goes on...
do not end ur life there...
keep walking...
even if u have to drag urself...
i've been draging very slowly...
but atleast, i'm still moving...
so...
DRAG URSELF!
hahas...


Congrats HuiYing n Jing Cai on a new relationship!
it might nt hab started yet but they are gonna start it already...
chi qing dehhx JingCai ai lurhhx HuiYing na mer jui, zhong yu deng dao le mei ren~
hahas...
oh well...
hiis hardwork do pay off uhs...

well, nth much to say lurhhx...
uhs...



*START OF A BORING DAY!*

today went heritage to singapore river...
know about all da naggy stuff...
hahas....
what buyer lahhx, money lender lahhx, business man lahhx...
then by da river got a BIG BIG, FAT FAT statue of a bird...
it was said to represent da time use on work n time use on relaxing...
da life of everyone there...
dunno wad bullshit dehhx lahhx...
then ate MAC with CP, HuiYing and my second form teacher, MissChee...
our tour guide got angry as my class alot dun wanna listen...
so end up dun wanna say any thing any more
untill during break, miie n CP "hong hong" hiimx then after break he willing to say lurhhx...
he say CP say dehhx right, "he juz explain and for those who wanna listen, listen lurhhx...
those who dun want, then let them be...
hahas...

then after that on da bus miie n HuiYing keep folding hearts shapes straws...
she wanna gib JingCai dehhx...
hahas...
atleast got smth to do...
hahas...
then after school, slack at school abit with HuiYing, JingCai n BearBear...
after that, JingCai n HuiYing send miie home...
JingCai a bit sot then due to lack of slp...
so talk lyk so shiong hurt dao HuiYing cui rou dehhx xing...
hahas...
*sayng hor*
hahas...

then after that juii go home, bath...
Go panda house...
today was hyper till really like siiao cha bo...
hahas...
siao gi na lahhx...
iie even make till Panda's mom laugh alot...
hahas...
then fight with Panda alot of time...
fight as in physically dehhx playing fight...
hahas...
iie hurt hiim quite alot though...
hahas...
thanks to my hair clip...
always that culprit...
hahas...

then got home, dog missing...
then call grommer...
they say will bring over soon...
then they home, iie use phone then now blogging lurhhx...


*END OF BORING DAY*



._EndEveryThingWithoutSuffering_.
[[_Can iie?_]]

Princess Of Tears

how long hab i've been holding back tears...
iie dun wanna imagine...
yeah...
i'm a cry baby...
iie cry over little stuff...
but iie kept all da hard to hold tears, held back...
funny uhs...
i've been holding back these tears...
even though iie did cry it out alot 3months back...
but only for that months...

after that...
iie held them all...
and today...
iie finally cried a whole puddle of tears...
iie dun feel any better at all....

iie realli do miss hiimx.....
but that person juz happen to be there when iie needed someone...

iie feel lyk ending all this right now...
ending my life...
would it be easier...

why do iie hab to make things harder n harder for miie...

plz make miie smile when iie needed it...
plz dun make miie cry when iie dun wanna do so...
who would want to?..
but there this person who would...
and there's this person who wouldn't but did...

when iie was suppose to let go...
iie did not...
and when he came back...
someone else was there first...

aiis....
Let's rest for a while...
we'll settle things in 31 Oct.....

[[_4.36amOUT_]]

[[_5.26amBACK_]]

for a while...
thing start to take a turn...
oh well...
end of tears...
for the time being..

argh...
habing gastric pain since 2am...
oh well...
should get use to it...

but all things aren't solve yet...
it isn't that easy...
iie hope is would be though...
but it isn't...
someone...
save miie...
get miie out of here...
take my hand n run...

._SaveMiie_.

Fly Up High

elloz....
came to blog again...
as iie am really bored...


these few days, i've been thinking alot alot alot alot alot alot alot alot alot alot alot alot...
and when iie say alot, iie meant ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT ALOT!!!!
crazy miie...
enough of the alot...

iie finally sort out everything...
FINALLY!


hahas...
but...
bad news is...
iie still can't make any move...
da only move iie realli wanna make so badly...
is to backout...
iie wanna stop everything...
enough of pain n torture for everyone...
can't we juz stop it?...


do u think iie like hurting ppl?
do u think iie like being sensetive?
do u think iie like hiding stuff so much and sharing it?
I HATE ALL OF IT!
iie dun like keeping my own secrets from ppl...
this make miie so left out and so hard to live on...
with such a hard to control things, it's hard to keep it from ppl...
iie dun like it...
iie might feel happy about my own life now...
but iie dun wan thing to keep hurting ppl...
sometime iie juz wish iie can run to da top of the mountain and shout everything out!
atleast iie can say it out without letting them know and habing ppl think bad about miie...
iie hab no bad intentions alright...
iie dun like it either okay...
so stop thinking!><


iie go two choice... to be or not to be... hahas... yeap... iie juz hope things remains as well as now if iie made a choice... whether it's to be or not to be... iie juz hope things remains as happy as it is now without anyone leaving...


iie know my post these days seems so unclear...
ppl reading it doesn't know wad's really going on...
but this is all iie can share...
even though iie know not much ppl reads my blog...
but this is still all iie can share....


iie do love it when my blog reputation go up....
but who cares about miie any way...
iie dun...
hahas...

._let's end here_.

pain...

juz when iie needed someone...
no where were ever be able to be there for miie...
i'm in great pain now...

simple day

Konbanwa!


EXAM'S FINALLY OVER!!!
PARTY PARTY!
hahas...

Ytd's Geo paper, iie die die also answered every question...
lolx...

Today Civics & Moral Education...
iie dun see a point in it...
but, oh well...


Our school had a Elective Module...
Can choose to learn 1 of 4 stuff...
-Hair Styling
-Fashion Design
-Motorcycle
-Tourist

iie choose HairStyling n ofcoz got in it too...
yay!
hahas...
From Now till issh holiday...
Can Rest...
but i'm worry that i'll be bored at home again...
then i'll end up emoing again..
any help?...
lolx...

Wed till Friday, we'll be attending out Elective Module course that i'll be home only after 6pm bahhx...
casue it last from 8am all da way to 5pm plus...
wow right?...
can diie arz...
hahas...
such long hour...
but can play...
yay! iie want!...
hahas...
hope iie won't be lonely in that course...
haiiz...
not becoz a little ppl take...
but because ALOT ppl take...
and that...
aiiz...
neber mind about tt...

Today Ben Di Walk miie home as we coincidently bump into each other after school...
Then iie lend hiim FFX n FFX2 PS2 dehhx game...
hahas...
he said he's gonna meet up some clasmates to go KBOX...
lolx...
hope he had fun...
then later afternoon iie walk past Yishun MRT...
coincidently met hiimx again...
lolx...
oh well...
say hi then bye then iie went off...
lolx...


went panda house play com today...
when panda play Black&White, iie laught till tummy ache...
lolx...
a god lyk game lahhx...
lolx...
looks fun though...
hahas....

afterwards, iie fall aslp a while...
lolx...
about...
10 to 15mins lyk tt?...
tired mahhx...
hahas...

then later juii went home lurhhx...
Panda sent miie home as always...
hahas...
so nice of hiimx....
then chat alot alot with hiimx today...
about HAIR...
lolx!
miie n hiimx got hair styling...
but doubt that we'll be in da same group...

then got home...
eat dunno wad bun then now blogging...
hahas...


not a normal but simple day...
lolx...

buaiiz...

Repeat my pain

Ohaiyo!


ii've juz finish my Bio paper today...
quite a number of stuff dunno how to do...
so ti kam ti kam...
oh well...


hummm...
my probs aren't solve yet...
iie juz wish iie can push it back n wait till iie hab a good ideal lerhhx then solve it...
can they make da decision instead of letting miie make it?...
iie hate making all da decision you know...
it's such a pain in da buttok...
hahas...


fine fine...
enough of my rubbish already...
love being cheerfull...
but it aren't my face type...
lolx...
alot ppl tell miie my face doesn't suit my personality...
iie also hope iie can change my face...
wad to do...
hahas...


kay...
now a days, i'm kinda bored at home...
i'm gonna die there euu know...
yeah, iie know iie dun wan an intersting life...
but iie dun wan a bored one either...
juz wish my exams can finish ASAP...
then iie wanna look for a job...
better than staying home do nth...

ANYONE WANNA FIND JOB TOGETHER?!?!

oh well...
or do any one hab any nice online games to intro?...
lyk, Private server RO or GhostOnline or FairyLand or wadever...
those cute cute game plz...

LET'S PLAY SOME GAMES TOGETHER!?!?!

hummm...
thinking about meeting ppl out during the holidays to catch a movie or so...
any one wanna go...
iie wanna try ice-skating nehhx...
lolx...
or juz go out window shop or go sentosa also can...
hahas...
the more the merrier...
LET'S GO OUT TOGETHER SOMETIME!?!?!


time for relaxations!
hahas...

awww, but iie think i'll start my tuition again every Sunday bahhx...
yao Kambatte yo...

hahas...


Juz hope iie pass my exams and go up to sec4...
and then, DADDY WILL BUY MIIE A HP TOO!
yay~
hahas...
iie want a white HP, a white HP, a white HP!
hahas...
iie loves white...
such a pure colour...
hahas...


thinking of gibing myself a new look during the holidays...
lolx...
maybe reborn maybe juz cut...
depends...
hahas...
well, not gonna dye it for sure...
aren't natural nice?...
hahas...
see, miie guaii kiia bo...
hahas...


After exams, wanna pull mommy go out buy clothes clothes also...
think mommy will let since iie first time in my whole 15 year i've been so hardworking...
i've never revise at all in da past...
not even wanting a tuition...
hahas...
time flys and ppl changes...
oh well...
[[_4.45pm OUT_]]

[[_8.40pm BACK_]]


Today's is the repeat of a painful day...
A lonely day...
wake up alone...
go school alone...
after school walk home alone...
went home slp...
then wake up...
found myself alone again...
for da whole day...


everyone around miie issh so busy...
knowing that i'm all alone makes miie wanna cry...
look back in da past... and then looking at now...
iie dun realli see a difference...
iie wasn't alone because iie think it that way...
but in fact...
no one cares...
iie invited myself...
not them...


xing gan qing yuan...
tt's how iie was...
haiiz....


Tear Drip Silently
Without Being Notice
Or Is It That No One Cares....


hope iie can find a job ASAP...
so that iie atleast hab something to do...
instead of being home alone...
iie dun like being alone at home...
iie dun like being alone....


._Set Miie Free_.

[[_9.39pm OUT_]]

[[_12.34am BACK_]]


backies...
juz now played Warcraft with panda...
hahas...
had it download into my com...
lolx
boyish uhs...

Kat posted my Quotes in her blog n put my credits in too...
was so happy...
neber knew my quotes were meaningful...
am really happy lurhhx...
hahas...
maybe iie shall post more quotes or smth?...
hahas...


juz now cried a few time silently...
no one notice...
hahas...
oh well...


but panda words did get into my head abit...
he didn't know wad's going on but did wake miie up a little...
hahas...
crazy miie...
was feeling realli trap juz now...
and badly wishing that someone would juz take miie n run...


but Panda's word brought miie bad to reality...
as it's a bit shiong lahhx...
hahas...



Oyasuminasai!
GoodNight...
SweetyDreams..