all messed up

blogging again....
aiis...
iie feel so down now...
iie had neber had such complicated thingy before...
neber hab iie tot...
this would happen to miie...
iie tot all this will only happen in drama....
but now...
it's in my life...
two guys...
plus miie...
i'm a dramatic person...
but wad's with the dramatic life lahhx...
both my ex...
both the one that iie had truly loved once...
the only two that iie had truly loved...
both of them totally opposite personality...



iie am thinking of preparing a letter...
for both of them...
writing down my feelings...
haiiz...
but who shall iie end up with?...
iie must choose...
no matter wad iie do, iie must choose...
iie tried gibing up both...
but nth seems to change.....
so end up...
iie hab to choose...



but one thing they are in common....
both a joker...
hahas...
both shorter than miie when we first met...
both shy when we first met...
hahas...
both dehhx first impression gib miie issh...
"kawaii & kind"
hahas...

iie...
realli love them...

panda...
chocolate...



aiis....
how can iie say iie love them when iie fcking hurt their hearts?
shine! [jap dehhx "die"]

aiis...

Dear Lord ,

Pls Help Miie Not To Hurt The Ppl Around Miie .
Pls Gib Miie Wisdom To Solve All The Problems I Have.
Pls Gib Miie Wisdom To Chose The Wise One .
I Need Ur Help .

In Jesus's Name I Pray , Amen.

a fren taught miie this...
hahas...

thanks wor, little star...^-^

hahas...
gonna become christian huh miie?...
hahas
oh ya!

panda n chocolate...
both different religion too~
hahas...

humm...
iie feel that Christian ppl are rather more kind n frenly though....
talk about gentle...
while chiness god dehhx more playful but emo...
hahas...

aiis...
iie shall go emo at the conner...
hahas...
just kidding...
tt won't help abit at all...

i've been thinking alot lurhhx....
alot alot...
but nth came up...
pea brain!
x(

so fck up with my life lahhx...

so many feelings...
iie wanna blog up...
but if iie do...
ppl will tink that i'm a slut or bitch dehhx...
so forget it...

someone save miie man...
iie can't let go nor can iie hold oh tight...
they're all...
aiis...

shit miie bloody idiot!...
why miie why miie why miie...
iie juz want a simple love...
juz one issh enough...
iie juz wanna be love by one...
iie juz want to love one person n get on with my life with hiimx...
but why two appear?...

aiis...
iie can't say no one understand how iie feel now...
as in this world...
not only miie hab this kind of prob...
not only miie handle this kind of thing so lousily...
but, i'm in a situation that some can't realli understand how bad i'm feeling already...

aiis....

i'm not ready...
for such a mess...
iie dun like this mess...
iie dun want this mess....

save miie....


who is the one that would be with miie till the end of time?...



[[_cry baby cries no more_]]



._let miie fade away_.