Today had my last paper...
Bio...
Mid year sure die le...
i'm doing last min chionging...
last two months...
but still no confidence in passing my N levels...

Just came home from khatib...
Had a small prob will Wen Qiang so never go see doctor in the end...
Walk away as i'm dam pissed off...
didn't do anything wrong then kana hit...
fark it!

Went to Hx BLK dehhx 9th floor instead...
my leg just lead myself there...
but iie go there nt because iie wanna see hiimx and wan hiim to know that i'm there n come out find miie or wad...
iie just wanna be somewhere near hiim...
iie just wanna be somewhere that could have still made miie happy and bless...

iie feel like iie dunno wad i'm doing any more...
iie do stuff le then realize it was quite dumb...
today do alot of dumb stuff that mad miie feel pai seh now...
and makes miie feel that i'm starting to become irritating...
iie hate myself...

these few days i'm dead tired...
maybe because of the exams bahhs...
it feels like iie haven been seeing Hx for a long time...
today iie stare at hiimx after school like no body business like that...
even ask Shu Ning to nt block my view...
then after that then realize it was SUPER DUMB!
haiis...
i'm crazy...
going crazy...

last night wee brought miie to watch movie at GV...
after that we ate mac and start to talk...
dunno how we end up talking about miie n hx n miie n hiim...
now a days when ever he ask miie weather he's in my heart or nt, iie feel my heart real empty...
then i'll start to feel real depress...
i'm hurting Wee again iie guess...
haiis...
when can iie ever stop hurting ppl...

last night iie depress till iie started crying...
he lend miie his shoulder to cry on...
and iie can't stop crying...
my head fills with all the WHYs of miie and Hx...
dam painful...
never had a good cry...
finally can cry out loud loud le...
crying out feel so dam suang!
but now back as before le...
cry lyk never cry lyk tt...
lolx...

Today talked to CP about Hx...
she keep asking miie to take it easy...
but iie know iie can't...
i'm too much of an emotional person euu see...
but iie end up deciding that maybe iie should let things be...
if he's happy as he is right now...
i'll be happy for hiimx...
i'll just stand from a far n look at hiimx...
that'll be enough as long as he's happy...
it doesn't matter even if it's painful for miie...
i'll get over it soon, somehow...

i've been wanting to ask hiim alot of WHYs...
but i'm considering to let it be...
it won't do any good even if iie ask hiimx any way...
it wouldn't change anything...
it's time to realli walk out of hiis life...

knowing that things realli have to end with a FULL STOP and THE END hurts...
iie can't stop the tears from rolling down my face right now...
i'm alone...
iie can cry aloud...
no one would notice, no one would hear miie, no one would be here beside miie...

please god...
let miie move on faster...
the best is to let miie forget of everything...
fell down the stairs, kana high fever n burn my brain, bang by cars or anything~
just let miie forget...

=="
i'm going drama again...
can't help it...
iie am lyk tt dehhx...
sorry wor...

i'll end here