rawr~!

dao di yao zhe yang ai yi ke ren cai shi dui de?
dui ta hao, hai shi dui zhi zi hao?
shang hai ta he shang hai zhi zi,
ru guo zui hou de dao de hai shi tong ku,
shi bu shi gai fang shou?

ai shi wei da de.
dan yea shi zhi shi de.
ai yi ge ke, he bei ai, you zhe yang nan ma?





Today woke up 2plus.
heh heh, finally can realli rest well le wor.
woo hoo!
slp till damn suang.
coz no work le.
then wake up, called everyone n went to prepare.
then meet er zi[zy] n larhvin at interchang.
kun yuan followed them too.
then went to fetch hx while kun yuan go home.

after that, meet joe back at interchange and went to his house to collect our pay from jasmine.
got $60.
after that, joe intro us to eat cavana.
darn it.
damn ex.
T^T
i wanna hao hao save my money one lor.
oh well, wadever.

after that everyone went to arcade ad spent our lat few hours there.
i forgot wad time we left le.
thik 9plus or 10plus.
then hx, er zi[zy] n larhvin send me home and they went home.

Finally one day without work.
lols.
suang ar~

got home, watched hot shot epi3 n 4.
hahas, and i saw this:

DAMN CUTE! xD




[[_waiting for my prince charming_]]
xD

xoxo, Jasmine
*SMILES*





P.S: i'm stronger than u think i am.
i've grow n i know how to manage my feelings.
i wont cry becoz of you.
i wont cry.
because i know there's no point crying.
instead of crying, i could use the time for crying to do smth else that would make me and the ppl around me happier. (:

RAWR RAWR RAWR RAWR~!!!

no matter wad, i hab to learn to stand on my own.
no matter how big the blow is, i hab to keep standing.
nth can make me fall.
wo yao jian qiang dehh huo xia qu.

i mustn't cry becoz of small things.
i can walk even without you.



today woke up 12plus n chiong working till 3plus the jas went to her drum lesson.
then hx, larhvin n zy meet us n help us out too.
finally, this job is over.
i earned $59 only. T^T

when i'm doing the 3th floor of the last BLK, hx came n scared me.
i was like DAMN SHOCK LAHHS.
he finish damn fast man.
still gt time come scared me dehhx.
*darmit, i chua sai. >.<" *

then he help me finish the 2th floor.
then we're finish le. then walk around randomly then went back blk309 n waited for the rest.
sat there for like 10 to 20min or so.
stood up n WHA!
my muscle hurt so much tt i realli cant walk much.
PAIN~!
T^T

then i walk till damn slow n all so hx piggy back me back.
sorry huh.
dunno my leg will like tt.
and...
I KNOW I'M HEAVY. xP
*muahahahahas*

then went back to meet joe n all then went to NP.
meet kor n jas again.
then celebrate kor's birthday.
heh heh heh, i found a chance to smash a slice of cake on his face i was cutting cake then his face so near n the others are like slowly using their fingure to put cake on his face.
so i cut a slice and SMASH! xD
*woahohohoho [x *

then kor wad chasing n being chased around. his HP n wallet got taken away so he was chasing the ppl who took his stuff while being chase by ppl who wanna gib him birthday bash.
LOLs.
then he also met a gurl that he's kinda intrested in so we keep making him go ask for number.
twice though.
lols.
damn evil.
but i know he wants her number lor.
everyone can see tt. we're just gibing him a little push~
how kind of us. [x

then 10plus going 11pm, everyone's going home.
so i set off along with jas n joe.
then on my way back, saw those thailand change SEX woman.
she walk like....
er....
backside and body swing opposite ways damn hard n like attracting attention.
DAMN...
HILARIOUS!!!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAS!
I CANT STOP LAUGHING!!!
LOLS.
=X

then got home, rest n watch tv n watch hot shot epi 2.
then now going to slp le.
nights ppl.



[[_LOVEme or HATEme_]]
._that is a question_.
xD

xoxo, Jasmine is back and stronger than ever!!!
hahas.

P.S:make up ur mind, to be nice to me and take my hand or be bad to me and leave me alone like how u used to.

RAWR~!

before making any decision or doing anything that will changes someone's life along wif ur's,
make sure u think through it and dun regret it in the end,
becoz its nt only hurting euu neither does it only matters about you.
but someone else's feelings n life will change becoz of that decision n stuff u made.

so stop it before it's too late.
there's no more turning back later on.



Today woke up 1plus.
then go prepare n all then go work again.
fuck tt work.
damn tiring...
T^T

after that meet joe n jas n went to finish one cluster.
then went for dinner.
then go do again.

around 5pm plus hx sms me.
standart one.
everytime he goes to work then he will sms me.
sad tt my HP no money le.
cant sms...
=="
blahs~!
i wan to sms!!!
*hand itching for smsing.*

then work till 10.33pm.
called daddy to come fetch me.
then went home n watch tv.
quarrel wif mom a lit.
she suddenly boom, angry then scold.
siao cha bo. =="
no reason anyhw scold scold scold.

then since ytd, er jie has been accusing me losing her PSP cover.
DAMNIT!
i play so long never even realise the toopid cover over there,
then becoz of tt we've been quarreling tgt with my mom.
humph!
angry.
everytime also lyk tt.
haiis.
stupid family......
they never seems to understands me...
infact, they never seems to care about my feelings nor my words.
just becoz i'm the youngest....

now blogging.
boring life i hab here isnt it.
i rather it boring than being too entertaining.
i like the pace i'm going on now.

tml is chris[tofu]'s birthday.
i'm totally broke!
sorry kor, cant make it too special for euu.
so dont expect too much.

that toopid boii huh.
dunno wad he wan lahhs...
last time so mean to me.
take my existence for granted.
now he suddenly so nice to me.
i cant help but feeling uneasy.
nt that i dun like it.
but i'm afraid n worried.

*yawns*
tired.
headache whole day le.
leg pain.
even my toe hurts.

good night ppl...



[[_i dun wanna experience the feeling of heartbreak anymore_]]
._it hurts_.

xoxo, Jasmine is falling sick

P.S: i wan the boii who tell me he loves me and mean it without a doubt and who will treasure me.
if not, SHOO FAR FAR AWAY FROM ME.
thanks.

and i tot i had finally free myself.
flying alone is lonely but at least it's nt hard n painful.



BOO~!


Today woke up at 11plus, sms chris n then meet them at 1.30 at MRT station.
went to toa payo to visit the wad working agency dehhx.
help us find job or smth dehhx.
then end up never open coz its public holiday.
*darnit!*

then went back to yishun eat LJS.
bert n Chris is talking so much of their fantasy crap that its so gonna corrupt my mind so soon man.
*god, clear my sin~*
*hear no evil~! xD*

after that i went back home n change then went to joe n jas house to meet them.
then took the papers n started working.
Hx & zy has been msging me all the way.
hahas, that made me nt that bored n time seems to fly faster than before.
but i was doing everything damn slow.
today is nt that tiring lahhs.
coz we started late.
only joe, jas n me doing at first.
around 6plus evening then start dehhx.
then we stop at 8 then bert, chris n Mrs kool[joe n jas's mom]
joined us.
then we spilt into 2gorup.
3guys, 3 gals.
the guys started first while we go back kool's house to take more flyer then go start.
but we were way faster than them.
when we finish 7blks le they still doing their 5th blk.
damn slow.
damn guys, wad hab they been doing.
xD

then finished 2cluster plus today.
Hx and Zy actually wanted to come n help.
but Zy gt O level exam tml while Hx had work in the evening till 9 so his parents dun wan him too tired so dun allow him come help us.
*thanks fer worrying about me so much wor. dont worry, i wont kill myself dehhx*
*my body nt that weak so dont worry wor. [:*

Well, its okay.
atnight it's much cooler.
so i hab more strength n motivation to do the job.
and everyone are mostly aslp and has closed their big doors.
so all i hab to do is throw it in.
damn easy lurhhs.
ahas.

then 11plus called daddy to pick me up.
then on the way back home bought mam mam home n eat.
was damn hungry + thristy.
then been watching tv ever since then.
lols.
after blog le then i'm going to slp le.
tired + headach + leg muscle still aches a little.
TML after joe's remedial, we're gonna start flyer job again.
this time, its gonna be only me, joe n jas again i guess.
oh well, i can dehhx, jai you jai you jai you~! (:


*yawns*
am tired...



wonder wad he's up to.
damn weird can.
been so so so so so damn weird...
wad r u up to man...

[[_still feels like a substitute, or its all just a misunderstanding_]]
._smth's realli so wrong in you_.

xoxo, Jasmine single but he gives me headach.

P.S: i wan the boii who would take my hand n tell me he loves me without a doubt.

i'm gonna be a new person.
growing n changing to the person i wanna be.
Jai you Jasmine Ng ShuWei~!!!

ren wang wang dou hui zuo cuo shi.
yi dan tong guo le, cai hui liao jie zhi ji zuo cuo le sher mer.





ellos ppl.

Today woke up at 12plus.
damn tired.
then waited for the toilet as mummy still washing clothes.
then 2 plus meet joe they all then started the job.
as usual,
damn damn damn damn tired.
heard that the pay for each of us is $80.
will it ever get any higher?...
*pray pray*

then at the end of the day i pai ka.
leg muscle hurt damn much.
joel also like zombie today.
he's too tired too.
*shaking joel, slap joel, take joel head go bang wall. "joe, wake up~!!!"*

then went home and all le lor.

talk to chris about some stuff.
muahahahas, feel so good now.
heh heh...

tml going down wif chris to job interview.
after that then go my flyer job.



[[_i'm not a substituion_]]
._please dun come back with those intention_.

xoxo, Jasmine is tired.

P.S: if u love her more than me, dun even think of coming back.

Today morning 8am wake up.
then go bath n all then sms JW.
was suppose to go fetch him as he dunno how to go joe house.
end up say he's nt going.
WTH, i wake up so early for hiimx lehhs.
*box euu ar.*

then prepared n all then go bus interchange n wait for er zi.
while walking towards interchange dehhx shi hou, Hx called me.
he was on his way to work.
then he called to check if i had woke up for work already or nt.
*hahas, i wake up le. wanna li siao me if i haven wake up right. heh heh! too bad~*
*told u towards work i very hardworking dehhx. see~!*

any way, we chat till er zi reach le then we hang up.
first time i was damn early and was waiting for someone.
lols.

after that went to joe house n all then we start work le lor.
then 2plus hx, JW n larhvin came n work wif us too.
then we chiong all the way, damn tired.
then went back n took more papers n come out n work again.
all day long man.
one flyer we put at the door step we'll earn 2cents.
lols.
we like went for 10 or more blks le.
leg's breaking...
back also aching, been climbing stairs n all.
*old liao... =="*

now i'm home.
damn tired.
feel like i'm falling apart from the inside out too.
*yawns*

in between our work, somehow conflict started.
siian
hate conflict in my gan family.

today ate two full meals.
was planing nt to but everyone's eating so...
must as well blend in.

kana cut by the flyer 4 times.
one of them damn pain.
the blood even kana my another fingure which is beside it by accident.
*ouch ouch ouch, pain~~~!*

and i found out, hen xing dehhx cut all contacts from the momo ren is a great way to forget hiimx.
you ppl out there should try that too.
in order to protect ur heart from any more harm, nt contacting nor traking his life is the best way.
Jai You oh ppl who are facing heartbreaks or breakups.
yao jian qiang yi dian~ (:
Gambatte yo!

[[_i dun wanna fall in love sillily like how i used to anymore_]]
._please, i'm nt a subsetube_.

xoxo, Jasmine

P.S: love me for who i am, nt coz i love you.
*i'm nt sad, i'm nt crying...*

YOSH!!!
GAMBATTE NEHHX!!!
FIGHTO FIGHTO~!!!


Today woke up damn late, 3 plus then wake up.
then go bath n all n meet Joe, jas n zy at joe's n jas's house.
then waiting for the job info.
then 8.30 pass le.
then the man call joe n jas's mom n told her tml then can work.
such irresponsible boss.
fuck.

then joe n jas's mom cook dinner for us.
so i ate it wif everyone.
wasnt realli full but think that's enough for today.
it's my first meal and last meal of today. (:
common tummy, slim down~!
[x

then meet edbert as he tot gt work then at bus interchange somehow by accident meet chris kor.
i saw him so called out to hiim.
then he came along.
talk to jas about my relationship life since sec1.
then talk to her about some other stuff between she n zy too.
told her tt maybe me n joe might nt hab enough rights to know wad's the reason she broke up with zy, but Zy sure hab enough rights to know the reason, becoz he has been trying his very best in loving her n pampering her and gibing him everything he could. and about how she should try nt being too close wif the guys.

she reminds me of me.
when iie was wif WEE.
i made these mistakes too.
i understand her situaction, but i know this is just nt rights.
i've been in her shoe before, and maybe i'm still in her shoe right now.
and i know i can never change.
becoz, this is my gan family, my one and only closest group.
i had never manage to get along well with gurls.
i'm nt those kind of gurly gurls who play around girlyish and thinking beating and li siaoing each other is fun.

a gentle reminder:
the following is about my life, dun like it, dun read it.

pri 1&2&3, i've been fighting with guys and protecting the gurls and other guys from being bullied. then after school juii needa go home.
damn man can.
pri 4 &5, my only fren is my cousin and a gurl who's name angelina, i treat her like stead like tt.
everyday go her house play with her and protect her from bully and chat with her over the phone n buy things for her n all.
end up, being betrayed.
pri6, i hab a group of gurl frens who treat me like trash, act nice infront of me while backstabing me behind my back. then i started hanging out with 3 guys and i had so much fun with them running around n playing basketball n all and i even fell in love with one of them and end up my feelings had been played and i didnt even realise it.
sec1, meet wee teng, pohli and kai ling. they never actually liked me. i know they often talk bad things behind my back about how flirt and act i am and all. but they're nice ppl, they never actually abandon me untill a gurl who's bday is 10 days later than mine came along and trash my whole secondary school life making every gurl scolding me bitch n slut n all. was crying almost everyday i went to school, even teacher was worried and i even tred to kill myself. and tt's when i realise how weak a gurl's frenship could be. how easily it could be broken and how lightly most of them take frenship as. especialy the gurl who trash my life then. but things got sloved in the end. and in between all the conflicts i do hab a stead n he somehow, most of the time believed in me, i was thankful but at the most peachful time, he choose nt to trust me. damn guys. =="
sec2, been with guys n gurls, happy with my life and all as it seems some how peachfuly busy. and the only person thoughts i concern about it my best fren CP and my stead.
but somehow, smth happen and yeah, it trash my life again. sorry, nt allowd to say.
sec3, meet this guy called Wee, he's a super nice stead. loved him lots but i wasnt fateful. so i trash my own life again. been with gurls group and this time, thy gave me the most headache dehhx, idk wad i do to make them hab so many yi jian about me, but i know they never accepts me for who i am, troublesome bunch but no matter wad it is, i still treat them as frens even untill now. (:
sec 4, still trap between hx n Wee since last year aug. headache sial, and went through LOTS LOTS LOTS of pain. and i've learned alot n seems like i've grew up a little more. been wif gurls n guys group this year.
but i still prefer guys group as i realli dunno how to communicate with thre gurls. wif the guys, i can be anyone i want and everyone is like brothers or infact, family and alot alot conflict but no matter wad happen, everyone tends to somehow, one way or another, forgive each other in the end. loyal frenship. very jian yi qi and they accepts me for who i am and always tried to understands me. thanks guys. (:

seriously, my secondary school like i the most unstable ones and the most unforgetable one.
they might nt be the most fun ones but i mt great ppl. (:
think next year i going ITE le.
studies damn bad so bo bian...
haiis...
good bye northlands...
good bye fren...
good bye my confort zone...
and hello strangers n uncofortable new frens, faces and places...
may god bless me man...

OH YEAH, tml i will be working from 10.30am till all the way at night.
7 ppl going blk to blk to put flyer's at ppl door.
heard from joe that there's 187blk for us to go.
WTF.
and $50 per person for that???
=="
hope it's hua lahhs...

sorry, no photos today....

ANY BODY, JOB INTRO PLEASE!

[[_i'm nt gonna cry_]]
._cheerful is mask to my sadness_.

xoxo, Jasmine is happy!!! (:
[ya right, tt's so darn true... =="]

P.S: wo hui zai jian qiag yi dian dehhx.

hello ppl.
sorry for nt blogging for the pass few days.
didnt feel like it.
too much to express that i dun feel tt its right to express out anymore.
feeling dumb in a way.

am able to control my sadness.
whether its alone or with ppl, i didnt cry or emo wor.
hahas.
li hai bahhs.
wo hen jian qiang dehhx wor~!
[x

might be changing my blog link.
but then again, maybe not...

now yishun raining, damn cooling.
love looking at how the rain makes the whole view look sad and emonish.
peaceful in a way.
if only the cars n buses would nt interrupt the quiet n peaceful feeling...

been eating porriged for one meals this two days.
nt bad nt bad.
can slim down.
xD

later maybe will hab flyer job.
$50 per day.
house to house dehhx.
nt bad pay.
joe's mother intro dehhx.
then monday might wan to go cut hair.
then jas accompany me.
think she also cutting her hair.
hahas.

alrights.
very early in the morning le.
been watching Hei Tang Qun Xia Zuan just now tt's why haven slp.
but i did slp around 11plus.
was too tired as i ytd night didnt slp well.
then 3plus midnight wake up again.
hahas
i'll go slp now.
nights ppl.

[[_smile and everything will be alright dehhx_]]
._yao zai jian qiang yi dian_.

xoxo, Jasmine signing off: 8,16am

P.S: i'm not sad, i wont cry... (:

Today stayed home the whole day.
damn bored.
been watching anime and drama series.
untill i headache.
but who cares?
i dun.
xD

Thinking of getting a hair cut on Thursday.
So i'm so freaking nt gonna spent any cent this week.
Meeting Wee for KBOX on Thursday too.
will tt be the last day we meet?
maybe bahhs.

his school start le.
he'll get busier.

i noticed lots of stuff.
when ever he love me, i didnt treasure hiimx.
when ever i love hiimx, he didnt treasure me.
it happened before.
around july 2oo7 dehhs shi hou, he was like tt too, tt why i kinda went to hx.
i told hiimx about it too tt time, i remembered.
but after i told hiimx, he try his best to come back.
but i still pushes hiimx away.
but after me n hx break up, he cheer me up but i stil didnt treasure hiimx n he went away.
then i went to hiimx then now once again, he's lyk tt.
was it fated or smth.
are we nt meant to be tgt?

but i always wanted to believe fated or nt fated it doesn't matter.
becoz our life lies on our own hand.
trying our best changes LOTS of stuff.
we just gotta believe in mi-re-cal [dunnohow to freaking spell it]

but i'm tired le.
and he told me he's confused about his feelings towards me.
so, maybe, i shall help hiimx answer this.
becoz, i can see and feel the answer pretty well from hiimx.
so yeah...

Cant wait till thurdays.
can cut hair + meet hiimx.
and surely i had started to miss hiimx le.
Can't wait to see you boii. (:

i dun wanna drown myself in sadness.
atleast not anymore.
who would like it.
tt's why i'm trying my very best to be cheerful~
hope i'm nt too hyper n cheerful that it seems weird wor.
hahas.
so ppl, bare with me a little.
just a little more. (:

cant's wait to take lots lots picture~~~
he he~



Thursday Thursday....
haiis... (:

xoxo, Jasmine is still Jasmine no matter wad.

P.S: 能不能告诉我, 你爱我 ?
You can't, right?

sorry ppl for post without pictures.
internet been slow as i'm using back my desktop le.
my lappy kinda crash[from the inside].
here goes my post.

Last night didnt sleep well, been crying when my sis is nt home n banging the walls n bed when she's home.
super confused.
i realli dunno wad to do anymore.
i'm so super lost.
so didnt sleep well either.
been waking up in the middle of my sleep almost every 1hr.
4plus wake up, 5plus wake up, 6 plus wake up, 9plus wake up then 10plus wake up again.

then woke up.
couldn't control my emotions so ask GANS to go out with me.
hx reached yishun MRT first then i reach then walk around MRT n NORTHPOINT with himx while waiting for the other 2.
jor n zy.
then after a while, joe reached.
then we went back MRT station n meet zy n took MRT to go causeway point n eat n played arcade.
after that went HX house.
joe left at 5plus for church.
then zy fell aslp around 6plus.
so hx on the Taiwan Drama "HOT SHOT" ep1 for me.

and i was hoping to the one who watched with me was we.
like he promised.
but, guess it's okay.
he's busy with alot of stuff.
glad he's enjoying his life.
i'm happy for hiimx.
i'll be okay alone here.

after 1ep, Hx's parents came home.
watch zy played GO FISH n laughed at hiimx n all.
then chris came n after a while we went home.
been feeling better today with my GANS.
they help me get stuff off my mind when they're around.
but guess i still gotta face it alone when they're nt around.
it's okay.
i can manage dehhx.
wo hui jian qiang yi dian de.

Before i left HX house, i msg wee a msg, he replied.
then i msg him again, he didnt reply for a very long time.
i've been waiting.
even for the whole of today.
i tot he wanted to play BBall.
so even though i went out, i was waiting for his msg n remembering which bus i can take from causeway to tamp, which bus i can take from kathib.
i remembered.
but end up he didnt msg me about meeting me.
and then i msg him n he always seems busy for me.
i understands he's busy n cant always meet me.
but even for a sms or call also busy?.
haiis.
nvm, nvm.

how i wish he can be like last time.
he was always there for me, regardless sms, msn, call or even by person, even without me requesting for it.
he was always there.
now?
i can feel he's trying a little.
but the feelings n the things he said n do always make me feel like he dun need me at all.
he dun mind not having me at all.
tt's wad i feel from hiimx...
tt's wad i've been troubled about.
with sleepless nights.

i'm realli thankful he has hang on so long for me.
but when i realli lose hiimx that day around july.
it made me realise he was always the one i needed.
the love i dreamed of.
i regretted not treasuring hiimx.
yet thankfull all those painfull things happened.
becoz if those things didnt happened, i wouldn't realise how important he is in my life.
and how to love n treasure himx.

but guess...
i can only take it as a lesson, an experience.
i can only long for such love n watch it fly n disappear.
i no longer know how to maintain this relationship.
no matter wad i do or how much i tried, i feel like it nt gonna do anything.
so i gave up.
yeah, low self confident n wad ever other shit u call tt.
i'm lousy at this.
i love hiimx, but...
i no longer know how to work it out anymore.

maybe its time for me to rest le...
and think about all tt had happened.
and learn about it.

let's look back:

the first time i saw Wee was when i'm in sec2 dec holidays.
on 28 or 29 of oct 2oo6 we meet up.
and 1nov2oo6 we stead.
the first time i saw hiimx, i feel sparks and like i met someone special.
and surely, we gt tgt.
then we tried to know more about each other.
childishly, we note down the stuff we like.
and said how compatible we are.
lols.
damn cute.
we always joke with each other n we never get bored of each other.
i throw tendroms sometime yet he always manage to cheer me up.
he always did things for me and i alway did things for hiimx.
we never once quarrel and i feel like we never will either.
i love himx n he love me the same way.
untill my hearts play trick on me and stuff happens.
and more n more worst, things happens.
and our relationship worsen.
but regardless wad, he never gives up.
i was so darn touch but am sad tt i cant reply to his feelings anymore.
i tot about tt i failed this relationship le, i dun wanna failed another so keep pushing himx away.
and when i finally break up.
he came in n brought me out to lots of places to cheer me up.
he never fails to make me feels his existance.
he tends to sms me alot, msn me even untill the last min and even after msn, we called each other n chat till we fell aslp.
but, i drowned myself in sadness n never seems to see wad's infront of me.
someone that has been silently waiting for me, been there for me.
and when i finally realize it.
it was too late already.
i tired my best to get it back to how it is.
but i guess, times fly.
ppl changes.
and he can no longer be there for me anymore.
so no matter wad i do.
nth seems to change back.
nth seems to work it out as well as it seems anymore.

if i could realli go back in time as the me now.
i realli wanna treasure that himx.
that himx tt loves me so much.
so much that i could never imagine.

but, its over...
haiis...

Boii, i just wanna tell you iloveyou.
and no one can replaced that love we shared.

i promise i'll always remember you, and i swear that our love was always true.

[[_it's never too late to try_]]
._sometimes, things just dun work out the way we wanted to_.

xoxo, Jasmine love Wee

P.S:no matter wad, i still loves you.

Feel sad n happy today.
Today DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN happy with my gan family.
Love you guys... n gal.
xD

Meet joe n jas at 2.30pm.
then saw a kawaii neko.
played with it a little.
it's damn playful can.
it keep playing with my hand.
but i did get clawed n bite a lit.
but it doesnt realli hurt.
the redness gone after a while.
then meet zy er zi n hx at MRT station.
then took MRT to ang mo kio.
ZY is so pissed off with his own blood mother n her fren.
becoz they were suppose to meet us at 3pm at YCK n drive us to the condo n we go play there.
but they were darn late n ZY just felt bad for making us wait.
i tried to say smth to make him feel better.

but...
gt scolded.
yeah yeah, my fault my fault.
i shouldn't even say anything.
i dun understand, so i purposely anyhow say can?
n to think i almost cried.
fucking cry baby me.

cheer up baobiie er zi.
gan marmii here will always dote n love u dehhx.
so smile~

so we walked around untill his mom n his mom fren reach AMK hub dehhx taxi stand.
we all squeeze in the car n got to the place.
went swimming n then played around like usual.
trying to drown each other.
while i keep clinging to ppl.
xD
lazy to tiptoe in the swimming pool.
muahahas.

after tt, jas accidentally kicked SOMEONE'S tummy.
and end up i go scolded "fuck off."
yeah, dumb for me to even care whether u're alright or nt.
hao xing mei hao bao.
nvm, so i did as told, FUCKED OFF AS FAR AS I COULD.

after that i we went to bath n change n went to had dinner n went for pool.
and played basket ball too.
then i sat at a side while they go play 3vs3 BBall match.
SOMEONE wasn't feeling well.
so switched player.
then i asked tt SOMEONE if that SOMEONE is okay or nt.
ask a few time becoz that SOMEONE'S face seems worser n worser so i got worried.
but guess that SOMEONE gt irritated n no matter wad i said, the reply was "STOP ASKING"
so yeah, my worrying is for nth.
i shouldnt care tt much.
KPO me.
idiot right?

after that, played pressure or was it call bullet? or wad ever it is called.
xD

JAS won!
i was the 2nd last to die.

after that took our stuff n Joel's parents sent me n hx home.
then gt home, miss called Wee to tell him i'm home n go bath.
then online, read CP blog.
then emo.
then wee call, so call himx back but very fast juii hang up liao.
then he called me again after that n talk a little then hang up again.

yeah, guess i'm a sensitive person.
but, these are signs that shows me that other ppl are much more important to you than me.
this is observations.
i know i kinda sux at it so i just take wad ever come.
n i see n judge it myself.
and yeah, tt the results.
i cant say i'm nt important.
just nt as important.
yeah, i know i'm nt the only thing important to you.
there's stuff u take it much more important than me like ur studies.
n ppl who are more important than me, to you, like ur frens.
and even ur gans n all.
i'm nt jealous.
i'm just thinking.
just wondering.
just comparing.
just asking myself.
and telling myself stuff.
and tt's all.
you do nt needa bother.
you gt ur hands full already.
dun needa bother.
dun needa try to squeeze another thing into ur hand when its already full and u cant.
even though this is just one thing.
but you're just one person.
how many thing can u concentrade on with just one life of urs?
go do ur stuff bahhs, i'll be here.
i wont bother you.
i just wan u to be happier and lessen the weight on ur shoulder.
i dun wanna be an extra weight to you.
coz if u try wanna squeeze me into ur handfull hand.
it'll be a very big n heavy stone.
becoz this is no game.
this is something i'm taking it serious of.
i've told you.
I AM SERIOUS THIS TIME.

i dunno are u sad or nt.
i dunno are u serious or nt.
i dunno if u love me or nt.
i dunno.
i dun understand you.
i dun understand ur feelings.
i dunno wad u're thinking.
i dunno wad's going through ur mind.
and i WONT know a thing if u dun open up to me and tell me.
i wanna know.
i wanna know everything.
i wanna understands u too.
wad u thinking, wad feeling, wad u doing.
which person who love you dun?
becoz i do, tt why i wanna know, i cared.

and mostly, and sadly.
i feel like...
haiis...
smth's nt working out between us.
i dunno.
little stuff always happens and made me feel sad.
maybe i'm just sensitive, maybe i'm asking too much from you.
but since i said 'little stuff', isnt it so little that you should be able to so it so easily?

[[_the changes hurts_]]

xoxo, Jasmine has been feeling DAMN DAMN DAMN sad.

Today morning wake up damn tired.
force myself up n went to school for graduation day.
the talks all about poly dehhx.
wth, i cant get in poly lahhs...
siian.

then they talk while i sleep.
lols.
damn tired.

school ends at 11am.
after school actually wanna go town find job.
but i fell aslp.
shit.
i'm sorry.
terribly sorry.
dun mean to dua you all dehhx.

sleep all the way till 4plus.
xiao wen called and said she gt lorbang for me and hui yi.
copy down the no and all.

then watch dvd till 7plus at night.
then bathn blog n all.
damn boring now.

keep smsing Wee today.
prepaid card money left $7+ nia.
WTF.
it's like i just used it for 1 week only n $30 gone.
time to use my own money go top up card le.

maybe i just thinks too much this few days.
maybe humans changes and stuff changes n all.
i think i should just simply accept things the way it is now.
even though i've always long for a guy who can be there for me most of the time.
being with the one i love almost everyday, is such a blessing to me.
but i guess i just hab to understand that he's busy with work n fren n studies.
i just gotta undrstands that i'm nt the onli thing important to him.
yeap...

gambatte shuwei.
holidays are here, time to party + work n a shop till drop thingy.
xD

Tml meeting Wee to go far east.
damn happy~!
Can't wait till tml. (:

xoxo, Jasmine loves hiimx.

P.S: Sorry ppl, no photo today.
Maybe i should take lots lots photo tml. (:

RAINBOW!

Today woke up, went bath n went to meet er zi n his gan-LaoPa.
then we had lunch tgt.
then i walk to the western shop which i always feared the most as all of them are guys n always seems scary.
ordered my food and payed for it then he hand me my change and said "xiao jie, ni hen piao liang"
i was super surprised...
so i smiled to himx n walked away.
xD

after that ate le juii go zy house kuan yuan came along.
after that we played basketball tgt with joe,chris n jas.
keep switching teams here n there 3vs4.
coz we odd no.
DAMN fun.
xD

everyone was injured at the end of the game.
iie feel down 3 time, kana hit by ball 1 time n kana hit by ppl arms 2 time.
got 2 scratched n 1 blueblack.
LOLS.
the bball game was SUPER FUN.
xD

after our game, we all sat bus 811 n went home.
i went home n bath n meet mom.
then went to visit ah gong then went for dinner at chong pang.
saw li shen there.
and some other group of ah bengs.
somehow, i detest ah bengs.
alot like to talk big.
damn disgusting.
*vomit*

ate spagatti and satay for dinner.
yummy.

after that juii went home le.

my com damn hate chiness, just like me.
it'll show chiness words on the net, but cant type and can't read.
i send song with chinese name also cannot.
damn!
[x

Chris kor just now called me and told me wad happened to hiimx.
i'm worried about hiimx.
dead worried.
Kor, hope you'll be okay.

These few days been thinking alot.
maybe i just thinks too much.
i should stop thinking so much.
i guess i should never find someone who i truly love with my heart.
so i wouldn't think so much, coz i will careless, so lesser problems will be there.

i just cant help comparing him before n after.
guess it's my fault after all.
it's my fault, it's my fault.

i'll end here.

xoxo, Jasmine misses hiimx.

Today, i cant help it but feeling the sadness within me.
i kept holding back my tears.
why?
what is it that made me feel so sad n lonely?
why is it that i feel like crying...
kanashii nehhx...

there's so much i wanna tell hiimx.
but i dun wanna be so hard on himx.
sometimes i keep telling myself, he just need time.
is it true or am i lying to myself again?
i'm worried.
so much to express, but i cant.
sometimes i feel like its time to move on.
sometimes i dun.
sometimes i just dun bare to let go.
am i just dumb?...

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!

i hate this kind of feelings.

Today stayed home.
waited for my new fan to arrived.
it came n gt fixed.
after that, went dinner with mama n da jie.
then juii come home le.

wad a boring n sad day...

amount of beef meat...

amount of bean sprout...

[[_why is it that ppl can find what they long for but i can't_]]
._Guess i've lost it_.

xoxo, Jasmine

P.S: i know, but it hurts.

Today actually meeting up for swimming in the morning but joe n jas didnt manage to wake up.
surprisingly, iie auto wake up at 7am plus.
call joe joe a few times then chirs called me.
iie was fuking tired.

end up, i went back sleep n joe called me at 9 plus.
so we decided swimming at evening then i went back sleep.
after that 1plus i wake up n calle everyone n decided to meet up for bsasketball.
bath n all n wear my school PE shirt n ready to leave.
kor come n meet me first and iie walk out of the door then he tell me no more sports for today.
just normal outing.

so went back into my house, change n all for 5mins.
come out, kor was shock
i change so fast.
from a no make up sporty gal, change to a make-up party gal.
LOLS.

so we went for my first meal of the day.
jap rice bowl[katus bowl]
with ribina.
was bloody full.

then we walk around.
looked at baby clothes.
so KAWAII NEHHS!
then we meet joe, jas, hx n zy at time zone lurhhx
played at time zon for like quite long.
think spent more that $20 there.
lols.

then we went to near my school there, meet JiaWei for basketball.
hehe, the game we play keep on go on tie.
nt bad nt bad.
think my bball skill gt improve alittle le bahhs.
or was it becoz everyone's injured due to ytd Bball match with younger kids?

after the bbal game, split into groups.
Jaiwei n zy n hx went home while the rest of us went for dinner.
jas, joe n me had friedrice for dinner.
yummy.
iie drank ice milo too.
joe also took alot of my photos.
super random.
u can go see it at his blog, i've linked hiim.

after that, joe n jas's parents came n featch them n they went off.
then kor send me off afterthat.
yeap, tt's all.

PHOTO TIME!!!

dunno wad to wrote about this. xP

sorry tt iie never block the raisin away. xD

but iie did cover the raisin here. [x

xoxo, Jasmine.
This post took me one whole night n day to finish it.
Thanks to the speed of the Internet & com.

P.S: I'm curious about our love,I don't understand why you don't take my hand & tell me you care,I see all the signs, but if you wanna be mine,don't leave me up in the air,You better let your love show,Let me know, or let me go ; ♥ i love you boy.

Today woke up at 1pm.
Meet HuiYi n HuiYing at 2.30 at yishun MRT station.
Bought news paper n search for jobs n all.
Went for an interview.
but feel like the pay damn little can.

it's a jap resturant at clacke quay.
then the manager there is a japaness then he damn funny can.
LOLs.
he tried speaking eng saying "hello"
then iie tried speaking jap and said "hajimimashite"
then he was like DAMN shock.
then he went O.o "oh! hajimimashite!"
then he tot i know jap then speak jap to me then iie was like shacking my hand and all of us laughed.
damn funny.
his eng is nt that good but he tried his best to explain and iie tired my best to understand.
hahas.

after that, we parted with HuiYing n went to meet CP, Jj, PohLing, LiYing, Andy, Edwin, Sebas, WenQiang & DongWen[almost forgot that he's there xD]
at far east plaza.
WTF!!!
see alot of nice clothes can.
very tampted.

after that walk around with them till 8 going 9 then took mrt home and reach yishun around 9 going 10.
After that then went home lor.

On my way home from Orchard to Yishun, iie tot of lots of stuff.
About me and Wee.
and have been wondering about some stuff for quite sometime le.
haiis...
been thinking about it ever since then.
super xing ku.

hab to keep restraining myself the whole day.
"i musn't sms him, i mustn't."

you asked why?
well, becoz, iie wanted to see if he'll msg me even without me msging hiimx.
This morning, iie dunno was it becoz iie send hiimx my new no then he msg good morning or was it of his own will.
but somehow, after giving a little tot about it, iie feel like it was becoz i send hiimx my new no.
or am i wrong?

sad...
if iie hadn't msg hiimx at 2.25 midnight.
would he even tell me himself that he'll be at his fren house?
no.

Do you ppl think this is controlling?
THIS IS FUCKING NT CONTROLLING.
i just wanna be informed.
iie just wanna know where he is and wad's he's doing, tt's all.
aren't this the most basic thing that every stead also will think about dehhx?
is it realli so hard?.
better than iie keep worring about it myself right?

fine, we're nt stead yet but.
we're working on it aren't we?
it just becoz that he said he'll be busy and will nt hab time for me.
tt's why this relationship is still underconsideration from two of us.
becoz i'm kinda sticky.

tt's why if we stead, problems might come up one after another.
but if we don't stead, it's also another problem. [dun ask me why, u guys should know.]
haiis.

but that's nt the only problem...
there's even greater things running through my mind.
but i had yet to comfirm it yet.
haiis...
let's nt talk about it.

finally feel better now.
after msging hiimx how iie felt and what i'm thinking, it feel better.
i hope he understand how i feel now.
and finally i'm able to be more straight forward about this kind of stuff.
iie always tends to keep it to myself.
thinking it would be better if iie keep it to myself.
lying to myself he's just like that or, it's just once or, i'm thinking too much or, i'm just sensitive or, it's okay it doesn't hurt or, i'm fine i wont cry or, becasue he love me or smth lyk tt.
always scared tt after saying how iie felt n wad i think would worsen our relationship.
but truth is, if u dun say it out, things will jus eventually go worst.
we should speak our mind and try to slove it tgt, isn't that right?...

i'm been trying my best not drowning myself in sadness.
wo hen jian qiang oh~
hahas [x
compliment me too lehhs.
xD

FUCK. my hair is ugly, time for hair cut soon.

handmade nutcracker. [x

pretty rights? one small doll there can cost up to $75.
becoz it's hand made and well made with good quality of wood and paint.
this whole set can cost more thaan $300.

chocho. the woman

museli. the man

[[_i'll always love you_]]
._it's a promise_.

[[_i still love you_]]
._NoMatterWad_.
(:

P.S: Finally, a post with pictures. xD

xoxo, Jasmine will always love you.
sign off, 3.27am

HAPPY 4TH MONTH OF MY SINGLE LIFE~!

today's 8 of oct.
the date i broke up was 8 of june.
lols

today had my last paper.
FnN paper.
think i sure go in ite le...
siians.

after paper, i went home in the rain n bath n took cab down to tamp.
tot that it'll be faster that way.
but end up, nt much different.
spent $19.50 on cab fare.
after that, took bus 293 to tamp ave 3 or 4 and meet Wee, HaoKor n Bing.
Play basket ball tgt.
8plus had dinner with Wee then bus home.

gt home, been lying on my bed ever since, my mang chang tong till i cannot walk.
SUPE DUPER PAIN.
scared later need go operation.
fuck, i dun wan~
haiis.

shuwei ar shuwei, get well soon.

happy yet sad day.
haiis.
no no no, think positive man shuwei~
cannot let sadness drag me down.

anyway, iie change phone number le.
FRENS, if u never recived my msg on wad's my new number, msn me.
if i consider you my fren, i'll gib euu my no.

xoxo, Jasmine ng shu wei

simply loves you.

Sorry ppl.
My blog is plain these few weeks as i'm busy with study and stuff.
So yeah, i'm busy and i tends to forget to take pictures.
Pardon me please.

After the exams, i'm thinking of giving my blog as makeover and a new beginning.
Depending on whether i'm attatch or single.
Hahas.
there's so much i wanna do after exams.

# .look for job
# .play private server cabal
# .buy hoddie[1blackBG & 1whiteBG]$30
# .buy 1 or 2 hotpants[jeans material n color]$30
# .buy belts$20
# .buy FBT shorts[silver&black]$20
# .SHOPPING
# .go facial[mama spon xD]
# .get pay and bring mama to arcad & eat sakae sushi buffee.$50
# .bring baobiies to sakae.$40
# .watch anime
# .hang out with bf and gans.
# .make my own blogskin
# .take lots lots picture
# .make more frens
# .excersise and slim down
# .cut hair$30
# .maybe soft reborn hair
# .maybe dye hair
# .maybe get eyelash extension

wah wah
hiong ar.
poket kana hole soon.
lols.

Been home these two days.
DEAD BORED.
all iie can do is stare at the computer screen and study FnN.
CANT STAND being at home.
i'll turn mentally crazy if this goes on any futher.

maybe some ppl right.
staying single is the best.
so u'll not lose intrest in much stuff.
which wad i'm suffering now.
fuking pain idiot.
damnit.

but too bad, i'm in love.
it's a price i'm willing to pay for love.
yeap, nth's free in life.
sad~.

tt's all for today ppl.

Oyasumi

Today woke up around 12pm plus.
msg wee and went do my own studying.
FnN.
Guaiis bahhs? (:

Then he woke up thn reply.
Went to Tamp alone then sit bus 22.
he got up 3 or 4 stops after i got up.
i told hiimx the bus license plate no 406P.
iie still remember.
hahas.
then we went all the way to serangoon to eat at chomp chomp.
while looking for sit, we saw Bing.
Chat a little then went look for place again.
after we found a place to sit, i sat down while Wee went to order stuff.
He came back n we started chating while waiting for the food.
First food that came was carrot cake.
it's like super nice.
then came chicken wings.
then Xia mian.
then satay.
ate till like, bloated.
then he went to order dessert.
jelly.
yummy~
but iie super full le by then.
so ate till left a little, Wee help me finish it.
Total cost of our dinner: $21.50.
wow.

In between when we eat, Bing keep 'visit' us.
lols.
once with Winnie 'jie jie' too.
hahas.

After food, we walk to hougang n took bus 25 to AMK interchange.
then took 169 to yishun.
when we reach our blk, we st down n chat n all.
am damn happy today.
(:

Wee, hope euu hab a god night sleep.
Thanks for today.
Gambatte for ur work tml~
^-^

[[_No one is ever forgotten_]]

[[_iloveyou_]]

xoxo, Jasmine

Today iie stayed home
didnt went out
guaiis bahhs? (:

Larhvin & Joel msg me and ask if i'm meeting them for lunch.
iie reply no as i'm staying home to study.
now i'm damn nervous can.
very scared lehhs...
feel like i'll feel.
siian.
if iie go in ITE how?
>.< haiis...
zhe mo ban...
iie die liao...
zhe mo ban....

iie tot if iie fail iie wouldn't cry.
but now iie already feel like crying...
zhe mo ban?...
if iie fail how?...
if iie end up in ITE iie wonder what is awaiting for me over there
how much will my life change?
how much will i change?
what type of ppl will i meet there?
what type of frens will iie meet there?
will iie be able to make any fren?
will i be able to adapt?
will Wee be disappointed in me?
how will my furture life become?

haiis...

juii ming ar...
iie realli did panic le.
first time in my life, i'm so worried...
that means i'm realli so gonna die...
haiis...

Today msg Wee a little by little.
he's working today so dun wan distrub hiim too much...
haiis...
iie wanna be with hiimx everyday...
but is it possible...
iie dunno...
i'll always be free...
what about hiimx?...

iie dun like this kiind of feelings...
there's stuff that iie wanna say...
but iie dun hab the guts to say it here...
iie guess i'll blog in in my another blog...



xoxo, Jasmine Misses Hiimx.

iloveyou... (:


Today woke up at 11am.
Wee msg me then iie wake up dehhx...
>.<
i'm so damn pig can...

was suppose to meet Wee, Hao, Bing, Jeff n one jie jie they all at 12 but end up iie reach around 1.30pm plus.
opps.
sorry ppl.
am a damn good sleeper...
=X

then went played basketball tgt n all.
play halfway gt a little kid dunno blink out from where dehhx come join in.
lols.
his strength kinda big for a little kid like hiimx.
small n skinny.
hahas.

after that the guys VS pri school kid.
beginning its so obvious tt the guys are wining the kids.
but no one count the scores so restarted.
end up is the kids win.
the kids like play rough sial.
one of them keep bang here bang there.
hao kor stand there look at hiim only also kinda bang.
ma chium rugby.
=="

suan le.
after we end game then the kid's gang become bigger n bigger sial.
the age range from pri school all the way till above 16.
coz iie saw one of them, DAMN OLD.
look kinda like uncle like tt...
the kid's group from 6 ppl, grow all the way till like more than 15 ppl.
haiis...
kids these days...
seeing them joining bad company like kinda feel pain for them...
walking the wrong path n all...

after that we went to a coffee shop rest + drink.
then we went seperate ways.
iie follow Wee.
wait under his blk for hiimx to bath then we meet up again n then meet hao n bing to go jeff's house.
they played mahjohn while iie study in a conner with hao kor playing cabal with the bing's lappy.
hahas.
tried TRIGO.
almost went crazy.
stupid maths.
iie nt good in math.
i hate math.
i hate that capter too.
TRIGONOMETRY.
i hate that!!!
>.<

after that Wee n Hao kor join team play mahjohn n they win sial!!!
lols.
gd fer them.
then after that we left jeff house at around 11.30pm.
first is iie forgot my water bottle when we outside the door le.
then is hao forget his ear peice when we waiting for lift.
then is i forget my HP when we under the blk le.
lols
so we all went back up tgt to take my HP.

took my HP le then we went down back n flag for a cab.
the cab fare cost about $8 going $9 i think.
kind okay.
nt tt ex.

Wee send me up n we parted.
as usual...
very sher bu dehhx....
>.<

gt home, sms Wee n Hao kor n went bathing.
now blogging n putting on mask
lols.
about to go sleep le.

Today was a Fun day.
kinda memorable.
i'm finally getting use to being around Hao, bing n jeff they all le.
nt that shy le.
atleast better.
i'm realli glad~

okay.
i'm realli tired le...
body also telling me to sleep le.
coz from young my legs or arms inside will hurt when i'm freaking tired.
it's a since born stuff.
so ya...

Wee ar~
sleep early oh...
Tml euu gotta work.
scared euu tired....
Gambatte on working tml~
Dun forget ur meals too huh.
imy. (:

Oyasuminasai.